


Of Queries and Quarantines

by MoonCat457



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 2020 Quarantine, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Alternate Universe - Writing & Publishing, Autoimmune disease, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Bisexual Sirius Black, COVID-19, Chronic Illness, Chronically Ill Remus Lupin, Corona Virus - Freeform, Eventual Smut, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Los Angeles, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Mutual Pining, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Quarantine Anxiety, References to Depression, References to Illness, Remus Lupin Swears, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Sirius Black Speaks French, Slow Burn, Swearing, Tattooed Sirius Black, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:46:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 51,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25767655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonCat457/pseuds/MoonCat457
Summary: LUPIN.RJ: James, WHY?POTTER.JF: Because you’re the one currently doing the job, so it makes sense that you’d be the one to train the person hired to take your place.LUPIN.RJ: No, I mean why is Monty hiring a new editor in the middle of a fucking pandemic?POTTER.JF: An old friend of mine is in a tough spot and needs a job, so of course, dad is helping him out.- - - -ORA story set in the middle of the pandemic in which Sirius is hired at the Potter’s publishing company and Remus is responsible for training him. Lots of texting, lots of video calls, lots of mutual pining, and a lot of really bad literature quotes.
Relationships: Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter - Relationship, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 256
Kudos: 506





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, there will be a lot of texting and messaging in this fic. I will preface whose POV it's from, in the beginning, then from there it'll be like a regular phone or IM convo (POV character on the right, other characters on the left).  
> Also, it’s in the tags, but I just want to say upfront that I’ve portrayed Remus as having Rheumatoid Arthritis. I do not have RA myself. So, although I’ve done quite a bit of research, if at any point anyone who reads this and has RA feels like I’ve portrayed it poorly, please tell me so I can make it right.

** REMUS **

**———**

**JAMES**

2/11/2020 - 8:33 AM

**_Have you left your apartment yet?_ **

_Not yet. I’m running a bit late this morning. I meant  
_ _to text you._

**_Good. Stay home._ **

**_There was another confirmed COVID case last  
_ ** **_night in LA county._ **

_James... I’ll be fine. I’ve got a mask and plenty of  
_ _hand sanitizer._

 **_Still. I don’t want you getting sick. Just work from  
_ ** **_home._ **

_I can come into the office, James. It was one  
_ _confirmed case._

 **_It’s not just the first one though. And the woman  
_ ** **_died from it._ **

_That wasn’t confirmed yet. You’re being paranoid._

**_No, I’m being careful._ **

**_You’re immunocompromised, Remus. The CDC is  
_ ** **_recommending that people in high-risk groups  
_ ** **_start to stay home, and that includes you._ **

**_You saw how quickly this spread in China and how  
_ ** **_fast it’s spreading in Europe. You shouldn’t risk it._ **

_But I need to go into the office._

**_Why? You’ve got your laptop with you, right?_ **

_Yeah, I brought it home last night to try to get  
_ _through more of the queries that came in. But  
_ _that’s not the point. There’s stuff in the office I  
_ _needed to take care of: Papers to file, contracts to  
_ _fax out, a pile of hard copy manuscripts to read.  
_ _And that orchid Lily got me is sitting on my desk  
_ _and needs to be watered._

 **_I will water your plant and bring by all of your  
_ ** **_paperwork. Just stay home._ **

_I don’t need special treatment. You know how  
_ _much I hate that._

**_I know._ **

**_If it makes you feel any better, my dad told  
_ ** **_everyone that they can work from home if they  
_ ** **_wanted. So it’s not just you._ **

_Except they have a choice in the matter.  
_ _It seems like I don’t._

 **_If you had a car, this would possibly be a different  
_ ** **_discussion. But you take public transit, Remus._ **

**_It’s a petri-dish for disease on a normal day._ **

_You’re not going to give this up, are you?_

**_Nope._ **

**_Look, you know I’m generally not one to tell you  
_ ** **_that you can’t do things just because of your shitty  
_ ** **_health luck, so the fact that I’m telling you this  
_ ** **_now shows you how serious I am._ **

_Gee, thanks._

**_Your words, not mine._ **

**_Just please, stay home. If not for your own health,  
_ ** **_for mine, because if Lily finds out that you came  
_ ** **_into the office and then you get sick, she’s going to  
_ ** **_blame me and probably poison me in my sleep  
_ ** **_with whatever new chemical compound she’s been  
_ ** **_researching._ **

_Well, now I’ll just be an accessory to murder on  
_ _top of being sick. So thanks for that. But fine,  
_ _I’ll stay at home. I missed my bus anyway._

 _Also, you might as well bring the plant with you,  
_ _because something tells me you aren’t going to be  
_ _letting me come back in for a while and if it’s not  
_ _dead already, it surely will be soon._

 **_Thank you. I’ll be by in an hour with your  
_ ** **_paperwork and Minerva._ **

_Who the fuck is Minerva?_

**_Your plant. I named it._ **

**_See you soon!_ **

* * *

** SIRIUS **

**———**

**JAMES**

2/20/2020 - 1:12 AM

_So, Walburga finally found me._

**_How did she find you? Did she trace your credit_ **

**_cards?_ **

_Fuuuuuuck no._

_I’ve been surviving off of the money I’ve squirreled  
_ _away over the years and the tips I’ve gotten  
_ _bartending my way across Europe._

_Kreacher tracked me down._

**_How?_ **

_It’s Kreacher. He’s found people who were hiding a  
_ _lot better than I have been._

 _It probably wasn’t hard for him to track me through  
_ _my Instagram._

_Oh and I’m officially disowned._

**_Fuck. Dude..._ **

**_I told you that you should have set your profile to  
_ ** **_private._ **

_I’ve been living abroad since I was 18. She’s never  
_ _attempted to reign me in before. I assumed she just  
_ _didn’t care... until now apparently._

 **_So you think that she was trying to find you to  
_ ** **_reign you in? To do what? Work for the family  
_ ** **_business?_ **

_What her intentions actually were I have no idea._

_But either way I’ve been officially disowned and  
_ _disinherited. Mommy dearest didn’t exactly take  
_ _kindly to who I’ve been staying with here in Italy._

 _I’m “an embarrassment to the Most Noble and  
_ _Ancient House of Black."_

**_Did she actually say “Most Noble and Ancient”?_ **

**_The fuck?_ **

_It might have gotten lost in translation._

**_Wait, did you say Italy?_ **

**_Sirius, are you stuck homeless in Italy right now?_ **

_I wouldn’t say homeless._

_I could probably continue staying where I am. I  
_ _mean, Ricci wasn’t exactly thrilled when Kreacher  
_ _came pounding on the door at 11 PM..._

 _Or with the ensuing hour-long screaming match  
_ _that I got in with my mother._

 _But I don’t think they’d kick me out. Especially since  
_ _it’s not like I’ve got anywhere else to go with the  
_ _pandemic._

**_Don’t have anywhere else to go?_ **

**_Bullshit. You can come home._ **

_What home? Did you miss the part where I said I  
_ _was disowned?  
_

 _“Home” went out of their way to hire a private  
_ _detective to track me down just to tell me that._

_“Home” clearly doesn’t want me._

**_That’s not the home that I meant._ **

**_Here. In LA. With me and Lily, and Mom and Dad._ **

**_What I told you when we were thirteen... I meant  
_ ** **_that shit. You always have a home with me, your  
_ ** **_horrid family be damned._ **

**_Now, what airport are you closest to? I’m booking  
_ ** **_you a ticket._ **

_Jamie I can’t let you do that. I can’t let you bail me  
_ _out because I fucked up. I’ll figure it out._

 **_Ok, first of all, you didn’t fuck up. Your mother is a  
_ ** **_despicable human being._ **

**_Second of all, if you think that I’m going to let my  
_ ** **_best friend stay stranded in a foreign country in  
_ ** **_the middle of a worldwide public health  
_ ** **_emergency, you’re touched in the head._ **

**_So, I’m going to ask again: what airport are you  
_ ** **_closest to?_ **

_I’m in Rome._

**_Perfect. I’ll send the e-ticket to your email._ **

**NOTIFICATION: Gmail - Jpotts77@gmail.com - Flight information**

**_Did you get it?_ **

_Yeah, I got it._

_And Jamie?_

**_Yeah?_ **

_Thank you._

**_You’d do the same for me._ **

**_I’m just happy you’re finally coming home. I’ve  
_ ** **_missed my best friend._ **

_Miss you, too._

_I should probably try to get some sleep. It’s like...  
_ _2 AM here._

 **_Shit. Yeah that’s late. Get some sleep and I’ll see  
_ ** **_you soon._ **

_See you soon._

_And... thanks again._

_—_

**JAMES**

2/28/2020 - 10:30 AM

 _Just landed. Waiting to go through passport control  
_ _now._

 **_Good. How was your flight? Did you have any  
_ ** **_problems?_ **

_Flight was fine but I’m exhausted. Planes aren’t  
_ _meant for tall people like me._

 _I’m running on five hours of sleep. I can’t wait to  
_ _get back to Andi’s and sleep for the next three days._

**_Is she picking you up from the airport?_ **

2/28/2020 - 11:30 AM

 _Sorry I got a whole bunch of questions at passport  
_ _control._

 _That’s what I get for not coming back to the States  
_ _for 4 years I guess._

**_No problems though, right?_ **

_No. No problems._

_Just a billion questions about what I’ve been doing  
_ _in Europe for the last 4 years._

**NOTIFICATION: MESSAGES - Andi Tonks - iMessage**

_Oh and a long lecture about isolating for two  
_ _weeks. Which I already knew._

**—**

**ANDI**

2/28/2020 - 11:46 AM

**_SIRIIIIII_ **

**_I’m in the car park waiting for you. Are you  
_ ** **_through passport control yet?_ **

_Took forever but yeah I am. Guy asked a billion  
_ _questions about what I’ve been doing in Europe for  
_ _the last 4 years._

 _Apparently “avoiding my bigoted family and soiling  
_ _the good name of the House of Black” wasn’t a  
_ _sufficient enough answer._

**_Bahaha!_ **

**NOTIFICATION: MESSAGES - James Potter - Text message**

_I knew you’d appreciate it at least._

**—**

**JAMES**

**_Is Andi there yet?_ **

_Yeah. She’s here._

_Stop worrying Jamie. Siriusly you’re worse than Lily._

**_Oh, for fucks sake, not that again._ **

**_I thought we killed that joke back at Hogwarts._ **

_It made a resurgence abroad._

**NOTIFICATION: MESSAGES - Andi Tonks - iMessage**

_Europeans found the wordplay QUITE endearing ;)_

**_That’s probably because you didn’t stick around in  
_ ** **_one place long enough for them to get sick of it :P_ **

**—**

**ANDI**

**_Am I good to pull around to the pickup area or do  
_ ** **_you need to wait for your bags in baggage claim  
_ ** **_still?_ **

_Nah I’ve only got a carry-on._

**NOTIFICATION: MESSAGES - James Potter - Text message**

**_You’re joking. The man who sometimes changed  
_ ** **_outfits in the middle of a family dinner party just  
_ ** **_because he got bored has been managing to  
_ ** **_survive out of a carry on for God knows how long?_ **

_Well, when you’re couch surfing and staying in  
_ _hostels for 2+ years you either pair down your  
_ _worldly belongings to the bare essentials or learn  
_ _how to fold really well._

 _So let’s just say that I am an expert at the art of  
_ _Konmari folding now._

 _I’m heading outside now. Can we get food on the  
_ _way home? I’m starving._

_Also what kind of car do you drive so I can find you?_

**_Yes. In-and-Out?_ **

_YES._

_See this is why you’re my favorite cousin._

**_Flattery will get you everywhere, my dear black  
_ ** **_sheep._ **

**_Also, I’m in the red Toyota Camry. But I think I see  
_ ** **_you._ **

**_Blimey your hair got long._ **

**_And since when do you have a guitar?_ **

**_—_ **

**NOTIFICATION: MESSAGES - James Potter - Text message**

**JAMES**

2/28/2020 - 12:46 PM

**_I’m going to assume that you’re with Andi now?_ **

_Yes. Sorry._

_We stopped for burgers. God I missed In-and-Out._

_We’re headed back to her and Ted’s now._

**_Good._ **

**_Are you sure you don’t want to come and stay  
_ ** **_with me and Lils? We’d be happy to have you._ **

_I’m sure._

_As much as I love you both, I know your apartment  
_ _isn’t that big and I’ve got to isolate for two weeks  
_ _so it’s just easier to stay with Andi. I’ll have a guest  
_ _suite all to myself there._

 _Besides she’s family. And before you say it I know  
_ _you’re family too._

_I just..._

_It’ll be nice to reconnect with her is all. And I  
_ _haven’t seen Dora in nearly 4 years._

 **_No, yeah. I get it. I just wanted to offer one last  
_ ** **_time._ **

**_Oh and I talked to Dad. He has a solution for your  
_ ** **_“no money” problem._ **

_I am not letting Monty give me money. It was  
_ _already too much that you bought me a plane ticket  
_ _home._

 **_Dad wouldn’t be just handing you money. There’s  
_ ** **_a position at our company that needs filling. It’s  
_ ** **_been vacant for a while, so it’s been split up  
_ ** **_between several people for a long time, but it  
_ ** **_really needs to be its own position._ **

_So, like... A job?_

**_Yeah, a job._ **

_Like, a real job?_

_With health insurance?_

_And taxes?_

_And vacation time?_

**_Haha. And a retirement fund if you chose to have  
_ ** **_one._ **

_Shit. Like a real adult job._

_Jamie I don’t know how to properly adult._

_I’ve been living on in hostels and on the couches of  
_ _random friends in Europe for the past three years._

 _The only jobs I’ve had are bartending gigs under the  
_ _table._

_Wait I’ll need a bank account. Mine were all frozen._

_Not that I was using them anyway._

_What do I even need to open one of those?_

_Do I have a credit score? How do I even check that?_

_Fuck. My drivers license expired like 2 years ago. I’m  
_ _going to have to re-take my driving test, aren’t I?_

**_OK. Sirius. Breathe. You’re freaking out._ **

_NO SHIT I’M FREAKING OUT_

_I’M 25 FREAKING YEARS OLD AND I DON’T EVEN  
_ _KNOW HOW TO FILE TAXES._

 **_You’ll figure it out. You’ve got me and Andi to help  
_ ** **_you out._ **

**_First step, driver’s license. Once you’re finished  
_ ** **_with the two-week isolation, you can get Andi to  
_ ** **_take you to get a driver’s license. They should be  
_ ** **_able to just use your passport and social security  
_ ** **_card or birth certificate for that._ **

**_You do have one of those at least, right?_ **

_I think they might be in one of those boxes of stuff I  
_ _mailed you before I skipped out on my graduation  
_ _to go to Scandinavia._

 **_I’ll look for it for you. And we can get you started  
_ ** **_with the employment and health insurance  
_ ** **_paperwork so you have proof of address._ **

**_You’ll also need to change your address with the  
_ ** **_postal service._ **

_Ok._

_Yeah. Ok._

_I can do that._

_God, I just feel like such a mess._

**_You’re not a mess._ **

_I spent nearly three years bouncing around Europe  
_ _avoiding responsibility and now I’m 25 trying to  
_ _figure out basic adulting skills._

_How is that not a mess?_

**_You needed to clear your head._ **

_For three years?_

**_Based on the hand you’ve been dealt in life? Yeah.  
_ ** **_I’d say three years is more than reasonable._ **

**_Besides, it’s not like I’m any more of an adult than  
_ ** **_you are._ **

_You have a job, a place to live and a fiancé._

**_Ok, true, but I still can’t do laundry for shit and I  
_ ** **_can’t wash a wine glass without breaking it. Just  
_ ** **_ask Lily._ **

**_And you have one of those things now, at least._ **

**_Everything is going to be fine, Sirius. Just breathe,  
_ ** **_and when you get home take a shower and a nap.  
_ ** **_You can figure everything out tomorrow, alright?_ **

_Ok. Yeah. I will._

_Thanks Jamie._

_I swear, I’d probably be dead in a ditch due to my  
_ _own stupidity if it weren’t for you._

**_Haha._ **

**_Yeah, well, I’m pretty sure I would have ended up  
_ ** **_dead in a ditch in high school if it weren’t for you,  
_ ** **_too._ **

_You did end up in a ditch remember?_

**_Yes, but I wasn’t dead in the ditch. I was hiding in  
_ ** **_it. Point is, we have each other’s backs._ **

**_Now, relax and spend time with your family. Once  
_ ** **_you get a clean bill of health I’ll be by with  
_ ** **_paperwork and your boxes of junk._ **

_Hey that’s the entirety of my worldly possessions  
_ _you’re talking about._

_The only things I have to my disgraced name._

_Oh thank god I think we’re home._

**_Good._ **

**_Go take a nap, you disgrace._ **

_:P_

* * *

** REMUS **

**———**

**3/10/2020 - 2:45 PM**

**NOTIFICATIONS: PHONE**

**Lily Evans - 1 missed call (12:40 PM)**

**Lily Evans - 1 voicemail (12:43 PM)**

**NOTIFICATIONS: MESSAGES**

**Lily Evans - 3 iMessages (12:50 PM)**

**James Potter - 3 text messages (12:30 PM)**

**Mary Macdonald - 7 text messages (10:07 am)**

**Marlene McKinnon - 2 text messages (9:32 am)**

**Dad - 1 text message (7:45 am)**

_—_

**DAD**

3/10/2020 - 7:45 AM

 **_Happy birthday, kiddo. Hope you’re being safe. I  
_ ** **_worry about you in such a big city. Love you._ **

3/10/2020 - 2:50 PM

_Thanks, dad. I’m safe. Love you, too._

_—_

**MARLENE**

3/10/2020 - 9:32 AM

**_HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU SEXY BITCH_ **

**_Check your doorstep. Love you <3_ **

3/10/2020 - 2:53 PM

 _Fuck. Cake from Sweet Lady Jane. You’re a saint,  
_ _Marls._ _I don’t deserve you._

_—_

**MARY**

3/10/2020 - 10:07 AM

**_HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU_ **

**_HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU_ **

**_HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR REMUS_ **

**_HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU_ **

**_AND MANY MOREEEEEEEEE_ **

**_Your present should be arriving in the mail  
_ ** **_sometime tomorrow._ **

**_Love you and miss you, you wonderful, sarcastic,  
_ ** **_old man, you._ **

3/10/2020 - 2:54 PM

 _Ok. Wow. That was a lot. You’re a lot. But I love  
_ _and miss you, too, you lovely, crazy lady, you._

_—_

**JAMES**

3/10/2020 - 7:53 AM

**_Happy birthday!!!!_ **

**_Have a great day off. Try not to have too much  
_ ** **_fun. ;)_ **

3/10/2020 - 12:30 PM

 **_Alright, Remus. I know you’re probably just  
_ ** **_completely engrossed in whatever book you’re  
_ ** **_reading, but if you could at least text Lils back so  
_ ** **_she knows you’re alive that’d be great. Otherwise,  
_ ** **_she’s going to want to storm over to your  
_ ** **_apartment._ **

3/10/2020 - 3:00 PM

_Sorry. I was asleep._

**_Oh thank god. You live._ **

_—_

**LILY (VOICEMAIL)**

3/10/2020 - 12:43 PM

 **_Remus, I’m starting to worry. I know you took the  
_ ** **_day off, but it’s not really like you to go MIA like  
_ ** b> _this. Are you feeling, ok? Are you having a flare-  
_ **_up, or are you just feeling down again? Either  
_ ** **_way, I just want to be there for you. Love you._ **

**LILY**

3/10/2020 - 7:00 AM

 **_Happy birthday, Rem! Love you bunches and I miss  
_ ** **_you already._ **

3/10/2020 - 8:45 AM

 **_Ok, maybe you’re just sleeping in a bit. Call me  
_ ** **_later?_ **

3/10/2020 - 11:45 AM

 **_Rem? Ok, James is telling me that you’re probably  
_ ** **_just stuck into whatever book you’re reading at  
_ ** **_the moment, but I also know how you get  
_ ** **_sometimes, so please call me?_ **

3/10/2020 - 3:20 PM

_Hey, Lils. Sorry, I was sleeping._

**_It’s 3 o’clock in the afternoon._ **

_Oh, really? I wasn’t aware of that. It’s not like I can  
_ _tell time or read the clock on my phone._

_Sorry, I’m just a little grumpy._

**_Remus..._ **

_Oh, dear. I can hear the heavy sigh all the way here  
_ _in Glendale. I’m fine, Lily._

 **_I highly doubt that. It’s not like you to sleep this  
_ ** **_late. You wake up at the asscrack of dawn no  
_ ** **_matter what time you go to sleep. Even when  
_ ** **_you’re sick._ **

_I’m just tired, ok?_

**_Have you talked to your doctor? Cause if you’re  
_ ** **_feeling extreme fatigue it could be a sign of  
_ ** **_anemia._ **

_It’s not anemia. I just haven’t been sleeping well  
_ _lately, so I thought I would try to catch up on sleep  
_ _since I have the day off. I mean, it’s not like I can do  
_ _anything else right now since I shouldn’t leave my  
_ _goddamn apartment._

**_Oh, Remus... You’re not ok, are you?_ **

_I’ll be fine._

**_It’s ok if you’re not ok._ **

**_I know this can’t be easy. I’m worried, too. So is  
_ ** **_James. I had to stop him from panic-buying  
_ ** **_apocalypse levels of canned food and toilet paper.  
_ ** **_So, if you aren’t at your best right now, that’s  
_ ** **_completely understandable._ **

_I know. I’m trying._

**_Do you want me to come by? They haven’t issued  
_ ** **_a stay at home order yet._ **

_No, it’s probably best if you don’t, just in case  
_ _you’re asymptomatic._

 **_No, you’re right. I just hate the idea of you sitting  
_ ** **_in your apartment all alone on your birthday._ **

_It’s honestly not that big of a deal. I’ve never really  
_ _cared about my birthday. Besides, it’s not like 25 is  
_ _a big birthday anyway. Marls dropped off a cake  
_ _from Sweet Lady Jane, so I’m honestly ok._

 **_Please tell me you’re eating something healthy  
_ ** **_and balanced before digging into that cake by  
_ ** **_yourself._ **

_Well... It’s a black forest cake, so technically, there’s  
_ _fruit on it?_

**_Remus..._ **

_Lily..._

**_Honestly, Remus. You can’t survive on chocolate  
_ ** **_alone._ **

_But it’s my birthday._

**_Don’t make me order a salad delivery to your  
_ ** **_apartment._ **

_Jesus Christ. You’re worse than my dad._

**_Someone has to make sure you’re eating from all  
_ ** **_of the categories on the food triangle._ **

_I’m an adult, Lily. I’m capable of taking care of  
_ _myself. Don’t worry. I’ve got soup in my apartment,  
_ _and it has plenty of vegetables in it._

 **_Good. I know you probably think I’m a nag, but it’s  
_ ** **_just because I love you. You’re my best friend,  
_ ** **_Rem._ **

_Don’t let Marls catch you saying that or she’ll get  
_ _jealous. But I love you, too._

**NOTIFICATION: MESSAGES - Marlene McKinnon - Text Message**

_Even if you’re annoying sometimes. :)_

_—_

**MARLENE**

3/10/2020 - 3:46 PM

**_Jesus, Rem, did you really sleep until nearly 3 PM?_ **

**_Must have had some wild night last night, huh?_ **

_Oh, yeah. Completely wild all by my lonesome._

**_Sexy._ **

**_Also, you’re welcome for the cake. Had to make  
_ ** **_up for not being able to give you the original, in-  
_ ** **_person present I had planned... ;)_ **

_Ok, take that energy over to Mark…_

**_Who said Mark wasn’t joining?_ **

_Goodbyeeeeee Marleneeeee._

**_Love you, mean it <3_ **

_—_

**NOTIFICATION: MESSAGES - Lily Evans - iMessage**

**LILY**

3/10/2020 - 4:30 PM

 **_Idea: are you up for a video call with everyone  
_ ** **_later?_ **

_Who’s “everyone”?_

**_Just James, Marlene, Mary, and me._ **

_You talked to Mary?_

**_Of course. She’s your best friend and it’s your  
_ ** **_birthday._ **

**_Besides, we actually talk regularly. We really hit it  
_ ** **_off when she was in town last year for Christmas._ **

_Oh, god. That’s terrifying. She has no filter. What  
_ _has she told you?_

**_Oh... LOTS. :)_ **

_Fuck. I’m going to go crawl under the covers and  
_ _die now._

 **_Awww, Remus! I’m just teasing. She hasn’t told  
_ ** **_me anything super mortifying._ **

_I’m sorry. The party you are trying to reach is no  
_ _longer available on the realm of the living. If you  
_ _would like to contact the spirit of Remus Lupin,  
_ _please consult an ouija board or dial *774748 to  
_ _talk to a representative._

**_Wow._ **

**_Just be back from the spirit realm by 7 for your  
_ ** **_virtual birthday party._ **

_O.....K......_

_—_

**POTTER.JF**

3/19/2020 - 9:45 AM

 **_Hey! So I have some news, but I’m not sure you’re  
_ ** **_going to like it._ **

_Oh, no. What is it?_

**_Ok, so you know how you’re amazing and have  
_ ** **_been basically doing the job of two people but  
_ ** **_have only been getting paid for the job of one?_ **

_Am I finally getting a raise?_

_Wait that can’t be it, because I would love that  
_ _news. Fuck, James, what is it?_

 **_Alright, so my dad hired someone to fill the  
_ ** **_commissioning editor/query reading position. So,  
_ ** **_you’ll go back to only having to do the copyediting  
_ ** **_stuff again._ ** ****

**_But the part you’re not going to like is that I need  
_ ** **_you to train him._ **

_James, WHY?_

**_Because you’re currently doing the job, so it  
_ ** **_makes sense that you’d be the one to train the  
_ ** **_person hired to take your place._ **

_No, I mean, why is Monty hiring a new editor in the  
_ _middle of a fucking pandemic? And how did he  
_ _even find someone? The position’s been open for  
_ _months for a reason._

 **_An old friend of mine is in a tight spot and needs a  
_ ** **_job, so of course, my dad is helping him out._ **

_Does he even have experience?_

**_Not exactly..._ **

_So, on top of all of the manuscripts I’m already  
_ _copyediting, the queries I’m reading, and the  
_ _contracts I’m writing, I now have to train someone  
_ _who doesn’t have any publishing experience. Can’t  
_ _you teach him? You’ve done commission editing  
_ _before, and he’s your friend._

 **_Trust me, that was originally the plan._ ** ****

**_But then my dad reminded me that nothing  
_ ** **_productive ever gets done when Sirius and I get  
_ ** **_together, haha._ **

_Sirius... Why is that name familiar?_

_Wait... Sirius, as in your best friend from that posh  
_ _boarding school you went to in upstate New York?  
_ _Hogshead or something like that?_

 **_Hogwarts._ ** ****

**_And yes. That Sirius. Also, my best man._ **

_The rich, playboy that you said skipped town before  
_ _his college graduation to traipse around Europe for  
_ _three years just because he could?_

 **_Ok, I don’t think I’ve ever used the word “playboy”  
_ ** **_to describe anyone._ **

_What kind of tight spot could he possibly be in that  
_ _you need to bail him out with a job? Wait, let me  
_ _guess, his parent’s cut him off._

 **_Something like that..._ ** ****

**_Look, I realize that most of the stories you’ve  
_ ** **_heard about Sirius probably haven’t portrayed  
_ ** **_him in the best light, but he’s not always like that.  
_ ** **_Most of the stuff he’s gotten up to has been to piss  
_ ** **_off his shitty parents._ ** ****

**_But the point is, he needs a job, and he’s like a  
_ ** **_brother to me, so my dad gave him one. He may  
_ ** **_not have publishing experience, but he’s kinda  
_ ** **_brilliant when he bothers to apply himself, so he  
_ ** **_should be a quick study._ ** ****

**_And you’re a fantastic teacher, so think of it this  
_ ** **_way, once he’s trained, you won’t have to worry  
_ ** **_about queries or contracts anymore and you’ll  
_ ** **_have more time to focus on your own novel._ **

_...... Fine._

**_I can basically hear the heavy sigh through the  
_ ** **_computer, but I’m still taking it as a win._ ** ****

**_Don’t worry, Remus. You’re going to love Sirius  
_ ** **_once you get to know him._ ** ****

**_He starts on Monday._ **

_Monday? That hardly gives me enough time to  
_ _come up with a training plan. You’ve known about  
_ _this since the beginning of the month, and you’re  
_ _just telling me this now?_

 **_I was only just able to get him into the office to  
_ ** **_get him set up with IT._ ** ****

**_He was under isolation for two weeks since he just  
_ ** **_got back from Italy._ **

_Jesus Christ. You still could have given me some  
_ _warning._

 **_I didn’t want you to have too much time to sit and  
_ ** **_stew over it before Sirius started._ **

_I don’t “sit and stew.”_

**_Dude. I lived with you for three years._ ** ****

**_You tend to brood and you know it._ **

_You can’t see me, but I’m giving you the middle  
_ _finger right now._

**_GASP_ **

**_I’m guessing there’s a glare, too?_ **

**_Anyway, his work email is  
_ ** **_S.Black@potterpublishing.com._ ** ****

**_I told him to expect an email from you with some  
_ ** **_preliminary instructions to get him started._ **

_Great._

**_I realize that was sarcastic, but I don’t care._ **

**_Thanks, Remusssssss._ **

**_You’re the beeeeeeeest._ **

_Yeah, yeah._

* * *

** SIRIUS **

**———**

**Subject: Training Documents**

**R.Lupin@potterpublishing.com**

**3/23/2020 - 7:45 AM**

_Sirius,_

_I’m sure James already told you that I would be in charge of training you for the commissioning editor and query reading position. Since I’ve been doing both jobs for the past 7 and a half months, I’m not going to have much time to train you in addition to my other duties. Here are a few documents that you can read to familiarize yourself with the publishing process since you don’t have any prior experience._

_If you have any questions, just shoot me an email or a message on Skype, and I should be able to help. But as I said, since I’m doing the job of two people, it may take me a while to get back to you._

_Good luck,_

_Remus Lupin_

_Copyeditor, Interim Commissioning Editor_

_Potter Publishing_

_ATTACHMENTS_

_Potter publishing Employee manual.pdf_

_An intro to publishing.pdf_

_What is a query letter.pdf_

_Commissioning editing.pdf_

**S.Black@potterpublishing.com**

**3/23/2020 - 8:30 AM**

_Remus,_

_Thank you. I’ll start reading these and get back to you with any questions I have._

_And it’s nice to meet you! I’ve heard all about you from Jamie and Lily._

_All good things, I promise :_ )

_\- Sirius_

_—_

**POTTER.JF**

3/23/2020 - 7:45 AM

_Jamie..._

_I’ve been reading literally all day._

_I think I’m going to go insane._

**_Hahaha. Welcome to publishing._ **

**_So he’s got you started reading manuscripts  
_ ** **_already? Good for you._ **

_Not manuscripts. Training documents._

_Stuff on the publishing process and whatnot. It’s all  
_ _so much..._

 **_Yeah, I should have warned you about that. I  
_ ** **_mentioned to Remus that you didn’t have any  
_ ** **_publishing experience, so he’s probably trying to  
_ ** **_get you up to speed before getting you started  
_ ** **_with the real stuff._ ** ****

**_Just take your time. There’s no rush._ **

_I also have so many questions, but I’m not sure if I  
_ _want to bother Remus right away._

**_Did he tell you not to bother him with questions?_ **

_He didn’t, but he said that he’s been doing the jobs  
_ _of two people and he’s swamped, so I’ve been  
_ _trying to just answer my own questions with  
_ _Google._

 _But there’s just SO. MUCH. INFORMATION. OUT.  
_ _THERE._

 _And why are there so many steps to getting a book  
_ _published? Like why would anyone put themselves  
_ _through this?_

 **_Oh, don’t worry about Remus. He’ll complain  
_ ** **_sometimes, but he actually likes teaching people  
_ ** **_things. He can be a bit of a grump but just ignore  
_ ** **_that._ ** ****

**_Ask him as many questions as you want or need.  
_ ** **_I’m here too if you want. I was in the position  
_ ** **_you’re filling now for a hot minute, but honestly,  
_ ** **_Remus is way better at this stuff than me so I’d  
_ ** **_talk to him first._ ** ****

**_There’s a reason Dad moved me into marketing  
_ ** **_the first chance he got haha._ **

_I guess I’ll talk to him tomorrow._

_Thanks, Jamie._

_—_

**LUPIN.RJ**

3/24/2020 - 9:30 AM

 _Hey I just had a question for you when you get a  
_ _minute._

3/24/2020 - 10:45 AM

 **_I was dealing with an author that keeps fighting  
_ ** **_me on every edit I suggest. What’s your question?_ **

_I had a few actually._

_So I’m supposed to be a commissioning editor, and  
_ _from what I gather that means I have to deal with  
_ _authors, right? What exactly am I supposed to  
_ _handle in regards to that?_

**_I can send you a few things that will explain that._ **

_Oh, I mean_

**NOTIFICATION: OUTLOOK - R.Lupin@potterpublishing.com - Communicating with Clients**

_I guess that works._

_Thanks._

**—**

**Subject: Communicating with Potential Clients**

**R.Lupin@potterpublishing.com**

**3/24/2020 - 10:50 AM**

_Sirius,_

_Here is some information about contracts and dealing with authors._

_Remus Lupin_

_Copyeditor, Interim Commissioning Editor_

_Potter Publishing_

_ATTACHMENTS_

_Communicating with authors.pdf_

_Contract writing.pdf_

—

**LUPIN.RJ**

3/25/2020 - 8:00 AM

_Good morning!_

_So, I was wondering about the whole “query  
_ _reading” thing. Is that like an official position? And  
_ _what exactly does it entail?_

**NOTIFICATION: OUTLOOK - R.Lupin@potterpublishing.com - Query Letter Basics**

_Thanks..._

_—_

**Subject: Query Letter Basics**

**R.Lupin@potterpublishing.com**

**3/25/2020 - 8:10 AM**

_Remus Lupin_

_Copyeditor, Interim Commissioning Editor_

_Potter Publishing_

_ATTACHMENTS_

_What is a query letter.pdf_

_What to look for in a manuscript.pdf_

_Query sorting.pdf_

_Good query examples.pdf_

_Rejected query examples.pdf_

_—_

**JAMES**

3/25/2020 - 6:03 PM

 **_Hey!_ ** ****

**_How’s the first week going?_ **

_All I’ve been doing for three days is reading a bunch  
_ _of articles ABOUT commission editing and reading  
_ _manuscript proposals, but I haven’t actually DONE  
_ _either one._

**_Do you think you’re ready to start?_ **

_No idea. But you know me, I’m more of a learn by  
_ _doing kind of person._

_I can’t just learn things from a book._

_Or an endless amount of articles in this case._

**_Then tell Remus that._ ** ****

**_Sometimes he gets a little carried away when it  
_ ** **_comes to this kind of thing. He always learns how  
_ ** **_to do things by sticking his nose in a book... Or  
_ ** **_twelve. So just tell him that you need to be more  
_ ** **_hands-on. He should understand that._ **

_Yeah, ok. I’ll do that._

_Have I told you how amazing and wonderful you  
_ _are?_

 **_Hahaha. Ok, when are you going to go back to  
_ ** **_normal?_ ** ****

**_Not that I don’t agree with you, I am amazing and  
_ ** **_wonderful, but it’s unnerving when you say it._ **

_I just appreciate you, ok?_

_You’ve been beyond helpful and supportive for the  
_ _past month._

_SO ACCEPT MY LOVE ASSHOLE_

**_And I told you that it’s not a big deal. So please,  
_ ** **_go back to being your usual cocky, asshat self._ **

_You’re a jerk and I hate you._

_Better?_

**_Much._ ** ****

**_Alright, well, Lily is telling me to stop texting  
_ ** **_during dinner, so I’ve got to go._ **

_It’s not even 6:30 and you’re eating dinner?_

_What are you? Eighty years old?_

**_Zoom dinner with the in-laws. It’s weird as hell._ ** ****

**_Ok. Got to go_ ** _._

_BYEEEEE._

_Tell Lily I say hi <3_

_—_

**LUPIN.RJ**

3/26/2020 - 8:00 AM

_Morning!_

_So I was wondering when I was going to be able to  
_ _get started actually doing things?_

 _I feel like I’ve been reading about the job forever  
_ _and I think I’m ready to start doing things more  
_ _hands-on._

 **_If you think that the stuff I sent you is a lot, then I  
_ ** **_hate to break it to you, but that’s kind of the job.  
_ ** **_It’s a publishing company. There’s a lot of reading  
_ ** **_involved._ **

_I know that. I actually like reading._

_What I don’t like is reading about doing something  
_ _when I could just be doing it._

_I’m more of a hands-on kind of learner._

**_Alright. I’m not entirely sure you’re fully ready to  
_ ** **_deal with authors yet, but I guess you could get  
_ ** **_started getting familiar with the publishing  
_ ** **_software we use since that’s where all of the  
_ ** **_contracts, timelines, and payments get logged and  
_ ** **_processed. Did IT get you set up with a login when  
_ ** **_they set up your email and computer?_ **

_Yeah they did, but when I logged in I didn’t know  
_ _what to make of all of the menus._

**NOTIFICATION: OUTLOOK - R.Lupin@potterpublishing.com - Vjoon Manual**

**_I sent you the manual for the software. It’s a little  
_ ** **_long, but it’s pretty helpful._ **

**—**

**Subject: Vjoon Manual**

**R.Lupin@potterpublishing.com**

**3/23/2020 - 8:25 AM**

_Remus Lupin_

_Copyeditor, Interim Commissioning Editor_

_Potter Publishing_

_ATTACHMENTS_

_Vjoon k4 manual.pdf_

**—**

**LUPIN.RJ**

_“A little long”? It’s nearly 200 pages._

**_We get submitted manuscripts that are longer  
_ ** **_than that._ **

_Look, like I said, I’m more of a hands-on kind of guy.  
_ _Which means that I learn better either by doing it  
_ _myself or watching someone else do it._

 _So is there any way you can just walk me through  
_ _the software via a screen share on Skype or  
_ _something?_

 _It would be a lot faster than me reading that  
_ _document and then having to ask you a bunch of  
_ _questions. Then you giving me MORE reading, then  
_ _me just having more questions..._

 **_Fine. I guess I can block off time tomorrow  
_ ** **_morning to give you a tutorial. We’ll have to call  
_ ** **_on our phones, though, because the audio feature  
_ ** **_for Skype screen share is awful._ **

_Thanks Remus! I appreciate it._

_Say around 9? To give you time to wake up and  
_ _check emails and whatnot._

_My number is (718) 867-5309_

**_9 is fine._ **

_Awesome! Looking forward to it._


	2. Chapter 2

** REMUS **

**———**

**NOTIFICATION: OUTLOOK (R.Lupin@potterpublishing.com) - Gellert.Grindewald@gmail.com - RE: Deathly Hallows Edits**

**NOTIFICATIONS: OUTLOOK (submissions@potterpublishing.com) - 350 unread emails**

**—**

**Subject: RE: Deathly Hallows Edits**

**Gellert.Grindewald@gmail.com**

**3/27/2020 - 2:00 am**

_Ok, I know I’m super late with the edits, but I just don’t know if I agree with the content changes you suggested._

_Can I have an extension to do a few more rewrites?_

_Thanks,_

_GG_

_—_

Remus shoved his laptop from his lap onto the empty side of his queen-sized bed and pinched the bridge of his nose, throwing his head back into his pillows. Gellert was going to be the death of him. 

It was not usually Remus’ job to suggest content edits. He was responsible for the smaller things, like: was the main character’s hair blond on one page but brunette on another, or were they using a consistent spelling for a word with both an American English and British English spelling. It wasn’t his job to point out run-on sentences or confusing narrative digressions. That was the line editor’s job. It was Molly’s job, and she was great at it, but halfway through her edit of _Deathly Hallows_ , she had to go on bed rest because of her twins that were due any minute. There had been a plan in place for when she actually gave birth— it was her fourth pregnancy while she’d been working at Potter Publishing after all. Monty had hired the same interim line editor that filled in for Molly during her other three pregnancies, Frank Longbottom. 

Frank knew the process, and he was a damn good editor. On more than one occasion, Monty had tried to hire him full time, but Frank was also an author, and he didn’t want a full-time job getting in the way of his writing time. That was something that Remus completely understood, seeing as his full-time job was getting in the way of writing his own novel. The problem was that Frank wasn’t due to come on board until the beginning of April when Molly’s maternity leave had initially been due to start, which meant that Molly’s projects had to get divided between the rest of the staff in the small company. So, Remus got saddled with the project from hell.

Remus let out a heavy sigh and threw the covers off his legs. He was going to need coffee to deal with this in any sort of competent manner. 

—

**Subject: FW: Deathly Hallows**

**R.Lupin@potterpublishing.com**

**3/27/2020 - 8:20 am**

_Albus,_

_I’m forwarding you the chain of emails between Gellert and me so that you can see what I’ve been dealing with._

_I’ve gone through several rounds of line edits with him, and he’s fighting me at every step. I haven’t even been able to start the copy edit because there are so many glaring problems with his manuscript._

_Honestly, I think I’m a little out of my depth here with this one._

_Help?_

_Remus Lupin_

_Copyeditor, Interim Commissioning Editor_

_Potter Publishing_

**A.Dumbledore@potterpublishing.com**

**3/27/2020 - 8:45 am**

_Remus,_

_Don’t worry about it anymore. I’ll knock some sense into him. I’ve worked with him before. He can be a pain in the ass._

_It’s a real shame that his work is so popular._

_Thanks,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

_Manager, Editing and Design_

_Potter Publishing_

**R.Lupin@potterpublishing.com**

**3/27/2020 - 8:50 am**

_Thanks, Albus. I’ve got enough on my plate covering commissioning and queries and training the new guy._

_Remus Lupin_

_Copyeditor, Interim Commissioning Editor_

_Potter Publishing_

_—_

**NOTIFICATION: SKYPE - Black.SO - 1 new message**

**BLACK.SO**

3/27/2020 - 8:55 am

**_Morning!_ **

**_Ready when you are! :)_ **

—

Remus wasn’t ready, but he took a deep breath and let it out with a long sigh before dialing Sirius’ number anyway. It rang a few times before a clear, low voice answered.

“Morning!”

“Morning,” Remus answered, his voice still slightly raspy from sleep. He cleared his throat and spoke again. “Sorry, this is the first time I’ve actually spoken out loud in a few days.”

A bark-like laugh rang out from the phone, and Remus had to pull it away from his ear slightly due to the volume. “Live alone?”

“Yeah,” Remus said noncommittally before directing the conversation to work. The faster this went, the better. “I’ll start the screen share now.”

“Ok, cool.”

Remus clicked a few buttons with his mouse, then opened Vjoon and made it full screen. “Can you see?”

“Yup!” Sirius chirped. 

“Good. So, on the left side is the menu for each team. We all use the same software, so it’s easier to communicate. The sections you’ll need to focus on are for contracts and manuscript information,” Remus said before beginning to navigate each menu, explaining the relevant steps of the publishing process as quickly and succinctly as possible. Once he got through all of the different menus and a few examples on how to input information into the system, Remus paused to allow for any questions that Sirius had. 

“All of that made a lot more sense than when I tried to go through that manual you sent,” Sirius said. “I’m not great with technical manuals. You should have seen me in my high school chemistry lab. I’m pretty sure I would have blown up the school if it wasn’t for Jamie.” He laughed again, loudly. 

“So, you don’t have any questions?” Remus asked, his voice devoid of any amusement at Sirius’ joke. He didn’t have the time to be friendly right now. This call was already taking longer than he had initially planned for, and as he walked Sirius through the software, at least forty new emails popped up in the submission mailbox for him to go through. Also, the joints in his hips and wrists were still stiff as hell, even though he’d been awake for nearly two and a half hours now, so he didn’t have the mental capacity to be friendly.

“Not really, it seems pretty straight forward. I might have some later once I actually start messing around with things, but I think, for now, I’m good.”

“Ok,” Remus said skeptically. “Feel free to get familiar with everything in there, but for now, I’ll continue to handle writing contracts and dealing with scheduling just so we don’t have any problems.”

“Oh, yeah, that makes sense, I guess,” Sirius said, the confidence and natural charisma in his voice deflating slightly. “What should I start with, then?”

“You can start managing the query box. I’ll walk you through that, too,” Remus said. He quit the publishing software, which took a few long minutes since his laptop was several years old, and opened Outlook to navigate to the email inbox dedicated solely to submissions.

“Christ, that’s a lot of unread emails,” Sirius swore. 

“Yeah. We’re one of the only publishing companies that accept direct proposals from authors without literary agents, which means we get a lot of crap,” Remus explained. “Half of the proposals are incomplete, too, which is the annoying part. There are instructions on the website, but they hardly ever get followed.” 

“So, what exactly do we do with these?” Sirius asked. 

“We have to go through each one and read the query letter and check it for completion, then sort it into respective genres.”

“What is the point of sorting by genre?”

“It helps us decide what to move forward with. It all depends on what genres are popular at the time.”

“And how do we know what’s going to be popular?”

“Market research, but don’t worry about that,” Remus answered tersely. Christ Sirius asked a lot of questions. “That’s Monty’s area. He lets us know what genres to pursue and which to basically ignore for the time being.”

“Right, ok,” Sirius said. “So, I go through the inbox and read the query letters, then sort them. And once they’re sorted, I start reading them to see which ones might be worth pursuing, and from there, I’d reach out to the authors to get a full manuscript?”

“Basically. But for now, just focus on getting familiar with the query letters themselves,” Remus instructed. “It’s pretty easy to figure out that a manuscript isn’t worth anything based solely on the pitch. I’ll take care of reading the manuscripts and reaching out to potential authors.”

“Are you sure?” Sirius asked. “I think I’ve got a handle on it, and I know you’re busy with other stuff.”

“It’s fine. Just focus on getting familiar with query letters and the software.” Remus shifted his laptop off of his lap and attempted to stretch. His hip joints groaned at the sudden movement, and apparently, so did he because Sirius’s voice rang out from his phone. 

“Are you alright, Remus?”

Remus inhaled sharply as a dull wave of pain moved through his hips to his lower back and up through to his shoulders. “Yeah, I’m fine,” He said dismissively. “Is there anything else you need? Any questions?”

“I was wondering about your job a bit. Your email signature says you’re a copy editor. What does that mean exactly?” Sirius asked. 

“I basically go through documents to check for inconsistencies and grammar problems. Syntax issues, narrative discrepancies, and that sort of thing,” Remus explained. 

“Oh, cool. So like proofreading, but a lot more intense,” Sirius said. “How did you get into that? Did you go to school for it?”

Remus took a deep breath and looked at the time on his computer. It was already nearly eleven, and he still had so much work to do today, judging by the ten emails that just popped up in his work mailbox. “I actually have a lot that I need to get done, so if you don’t have any other questions...” Remus trailed off, hoping Sirius would get the point. 

“Oh, yeah!” Sirius said. “Of course. Thanks for your help. I really appreciate it. And it was nice talking to you, Remus.”

“Just let me know if you have any questions,” Remus said quickly, hanging up the phone. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly through his nose before pulling his laptop back into his lap and getting back to work.

* * *

** SIRIUS **

**———**

**POTTER.JF**

4/3/2020 - 11:05 AM

_So I think Remus hates me._

**_Ok, hold on. There’s no way that’s possible.  
_ ** **_Because in the 6+ years that I’ve known Remus  
_ ** **_he’s never hated anyone. Remus is almost  
_ ** **_painfully nice to nearly anyone._ ** ****

**_Ok, unless you give him a real reason not to be,  
_ ** **_but even then he tends to forgive people._ **

_So you’re saying that I did something to make him  
_ _hate me?_

 _I’ve known him for two weeks how tf would I have  
_ _done something already to make him hate me?_

 **_No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that  
_ ** **_there is almost no way that he hates you. What  
_ ** **_makes you think that he does?_ **

_The guy has barely said two words to me since I  
_ _started! Our first exchange out of the gate was just  
_ _so cold._

 _Every time I try to talk to him about work, he just  
_ _sends me another article to read, and he doesn’t  
_ _even say anything in the body of the email either.  
_ _He just sends an attachment._

 _I had to practically beg him just to walk me through  
_ _the publishing software via screen share, and even  
_ _when he did he was really short with me and barely  
_ _said more to me than was necessary._

 _And I tried to make conversation too! I asked him  
_ _about what he does as a copy editor and about how  
_ _he got into that. Just trying to find common ground,  
_ _ya know? It’s not like I need to be best friends with  
_ _him but it would be nice to have anything  
_ _resembling a conversation with him. But he  
_ _COMPLETELY shut me down._

 _Like... What the hell did I do? I mean, I know  
_ _sometimes I can come on a little strong, but I  
_ _haven’t even had the chance to make an ass out of  
_ _myself!_

 **_Ok, wow. That was a lot. But that honestly doesn’t  
_ ** **_sound like Remus at all._ ** ****

**_NOT that I’m saying you’re making it up!_ **

_Good, because I think by now I’m a pretty good  
_ _judge of when someone wants nothing to do with  
_ _me. I got that vibe enough from my family so I  
_ _recognize it when I see it._

 **_The only thing I can think of is that Remus isn’t  
_ ** **_coping as well with the quarantine as he thinks he  
_ ** **_is and it’s starting to seep into work._ ** ****

**_I’ve noticed that he’s been a little short with me  
_ ** **_and Lily lately, too._ **

_It’s been like... 2 weeks. How is he already stir  
_ _crazy?_

 **_For him it’s been two months. He’d probably hate  
_ ** **_me for telling you this because he doesn’t like  
_ ** **_people treating him differently because of it, but  
_ ** **_Remus has a pretty bad autoimmune disease. So  
_ ** **_he’s been stuck in his apartment all by himself  
_ ** **_since early February._ ** ****

**_He’s a homebody on a good day, but it’s different  
_ ** **_when it’s forced on you._ **

_Oh._

_Well, yeah, that would make sense I guess. I’d be  
_ _irritable, too._

 _But that doesn’t explain why he won’t trust me to  
_ _do the job I was hired to do. I’ve been here for two  
_ _weeks and the most I’ve done is sort emails. It’s like  
_ _he’s some sort of control freak or something._

 _OH and the emails! There has got to be a better  
_ _way to accept manuscript queries than to just get a  
_ _bunch of emails sent to an email address. Like a  
_ _form on the website or something so that we don’t  
_ _have to spend as much time combing through to  
_ _find completed proposals and our time can be spent  
_ _actually reading the proposals to get more authors  
_ _added to our client list._

 **_I’ll definitely talk to him to see what’s going on. If  
_ ** **_anything, just to figure out why he isn’t helping  
_ ** **_you get acclimated to the work more._ ** ****

**_In the meantime, maybe try to work on that form  
_ ** **_idea. Because you’re right. The way we accept  
_ ** **_queries is shit._ ** ****

**_But you know Dad, he isn’t great with technology  
_ ** **_and there’s only one guy in IT. And you met  
_ ** **_Mundungus, he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed._ ** ****

**_Also, don’t say anything about him being  
_ ** **_immunocompromised. I don’t need him hating me,  
_ ** **_too._ **

_Oi! I thought you said he probably doesn’t hate me!_

**_;)_ **

* * *

** REMUS **

**———**

**POTTER.JF**

4/3/2020 - 11:30 AM

**_Hey, I wanted to talk to you about Sirius._ **

_What about Sirius?_

**_Well, he thinks you hate him._ **

_I don’t hate him?_

**_I didn’t think you did, but he says you will barely  
_ ** **_give him the time of day. So what’s that about?  
_ ** **_You’re usually a pretty friendly person._ **

_I’m just swamped. That line editing job I picked up  
_ _when Molly left unexpectedly has been giving me a  
_ _lot of problems, and I still have all of those  
_ _contracts to write up, so excuse me for not wanting  
_ _to make small talk._

 **_Ok, that brings me to my second thing, why are  
_ ** **_you still reading proposals and writing up  
_ ** **_contracts when that’s Sirius’ job?_ **

_I don’t know if he’s ready yet, and we can’t afford  
_ _to lose out on any potential contracts right now.  
_ _We’re only just now recovering from the shit storm  
_ _that was the last commissioning editor._

 **_That’s completely different. Sirius is actually a  
_ ** **_competent human. Gilderoy was a dumbass._ **

_Monty thought Gilderoy was competent, too. Sirius  
_ _doesn’t have any experience, and last time we had  
_ _someone that didn’t have experience in the  
_ _position, I ended up having to do both jobs and fix  
_ _half of his mistakes._

 **_I’ll give it to you that Gilderoy caused a shit ton of  
_ ** **_problems for us, but that’s because he lied on his  
_ ** **_resume. It’s completely different._ ** ****

**_Sirius isn’t claiming to be able to do things that he  
_ ** **_doesn’t know how to. Sirius isn’t anything like  
_ ** **_Gilderoy._ **

_Isn’t he, though? Neither of them was qualified for  
_ _the job but got it anyway, and both of them carry  
_ _themselves with the same arrogant “I can do  
_ _anything I want” attitude._

 **_Look, you’ve got Sirius completely wrong. Yes,  
_ ** **_both of us got up to some absolutely idiotic things  
_ ** **_when we were in school together, and those are  
_ ** **_the stories I tell because they’re the most fun. But  
_ ** **_Sirius is actually a really smart guy. He’s freaking  
_ ** **_brilliant when he actually applies himself._ **

_“When he applies himself” being the operative  
_ _phrase there. How am I supposed to know if he’s  
_ _going to apply himself to this? I mean, the guy  
_ _spent three years hopping around Europe on a  
_ _whim. Has he even held down a real job before?_

 **_Ok. Seriously, Remus? What is up with you? You’re  
_ ** **_usually the FIRST person to give someone a  
_ ** **_chance._ ** ****

**_And that’s what this is for Sirius. A chance. I’m not  
_ ** **_going to go into details because honestly, it’s not  
_ ** **_my place to spill his darkest secrets, but Sirius has  
_ ** **_been dealt a shit hand._ ** ****

**_So yeah, he may not have any experience, but he  
_ ** **_sure as hell is going to be applying himself to this  
_ ** **_job because he needs it. Not just for the money,  
_ ** **_but because he needs to prove himself. If anyone  
_ ** **_is going to understand that, I would think it would  
_ ** **_be you._ ** ****

**_I’m not saying the two of you need to be BFFs or  
_ ** **_anything, but you are both my closest friends, so it  
_ ** **_would be nice if you got along._ ** ****

**_To say nothing of the fact that it would make  
_ ** **_working together a-hell-of-a-lot easier._ **

_You’re right. I’ve been a bit of a dick. I’ll make more  
_ _of an effort._

 **_Thank you._ ** ****

**_And give Sirius more responsibility. He can handle  
_ ** **_it. Besides, you’re overworked. I’m starting to  
_ ** **_seriously worry about you burning out, and we  
_ ** **_can’t have that. We wouldn’t be able to find  
_ ** **_anyone to replace you._ **

_I might owe Lily a sweater. We had a bet to see  
_ _which of your parents you’d turn into. My money  
_ _was on Effie, but I think Lily was onto something.  
_ _You’re turning into Monty._

 **_Jesus. You’re right and it’s terrifying._ ** ****

**_God, I wish I was turning into my mom._ **

_Haha. I think Lily would prefer that, too. Effie is a  
_ _great cook, and you definitely are not._

**_Hey!!_ **

_Am I wrong, though?_

**_... No._ **

_:)_

—

Remus stared at the recipe on his phone in one hand while he stirred the bubbling red sauce threatening to overflow the pot with the other. _Simmer on low while you wait for the pasta water to boil and for the pasta to cook_. Setting his phone down, Remus turned the burner to low then covered the pot with a lid so it wouldn’t splatter while he was focused on the pasta. He’d preemptively gotten a pot out and filled it with water, so he flicked the burner on to bring it to a boil, then ducked down to pull a colander out from the back of one of the bottom cabinets. 

The kitchen was one of Remus’ least favorite parts of his tiny one-bedroom apartment in the middle of Glendale, CA. It was small, and the upper cabinets were positioned way too high on the wall, rendering the top shelf almost useless unless he wanted to use a stool for everything on it. Not that he was a short guy— he was over the average height for men in the US — the stupid cabinets were simply that tall. They were also all way too deep, which meant Remus had to position his head halfway into the lower cabinet just to pull the colander out from the precarious stack of cookware he’d managed to shove into it. 

Just as he was pulling the colander free, his phone rang loudly, causing him to jump and knock his head on the cabinet frame. “Fuck!” he shouted, dropping the colander and bringing his hand to the back of his head. Grumbling, he pulled himself up off the floor using the counter for leverage and grabbed his phone.

**INCOMING CALL - Sirius Black**

Remus stared at his phone for a moment, noting the time. Why was Sirius calling him at seven-thirty on a Wednesday? He couldn’t possibly still be working, could he? Confused, and still clutching the spot on his head where it hit the cabinet, Remus hesitated then accepted the call. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, Remus,” Sirius’ voice rang out from the other end. 

Remus heard the telltale sound of water boiling, so he wedged the phone between his ear and his shoulder, leaving both hands free to tear open the box of spiral noodles and unceremoniously dumped them into the pot. “Did we have a meeting that I forgot about?” 

“No, I— Did I catch you at a bad time? I had something for work I wanted to run by you, but if it’s a bad time— I probably should have texted you first. I’m sorry,” Sirius said in a rush. 

Now that James had pointed it out, he could hear the hesitation in Sirius’ voice, as if he was afraid that Remus would bite his head off at any given moment. Remus took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He felt a sudden pang of remorse, so he forced a more welcoming tone into his voice before he answered. “No, it’s fine. You just caught me off guard. What’s up?”

“Oh, ok, cool,” Sirius said slowly. “So, it’s about the way we handle query letter submissions. I think we can both agree that that submission mailbox is like one of the circles of hell. Specifically, the one where they’re condemned to push boulders for the rest of their life.”

Remus let out a surprised laugh. He hadn’t expected someone like Sirius to have read Dante’s Inferno, much less remember enough to quote it. “God, that is such an accurate description. I feel like Sisyphus every time I open it.”

“Right?” Sirius said with a laugh. “It’s like, the second you get the inbox half cleared out and sorted, a hundred more emails come in, and you’re back where you started. So I started thinking: there has to be a better way to do this.”

“You’re completely right, but what can we really do?”

“Well, I was doing some research on how literary agencies accept proposals. Some have online forms to fill out with information like the title, genre, word count, you know, the stuff that we use to sort through them,” Sirius explained. “So it got me thinking, if we did something like that, then it could theoretically sort the queries for us, and we wouldn’t have to waste time reading through a paragraph to pick out the information, seeing as literally everyone formats their letters differently.”

Remus hummed to himself for a moment as he reached back into the cabinet to retrieve the colander and place it in the sink. “It’s not a bad idea,” he admitted. “Actually, it’s a pretty good idea.”

“Thanks,” Sirius said. “I thought so, too.”

“The only problem is that our IT guy is kind of the worst, so I don’t know that he’d actually be capable of programming something like that for our website,” Remus said. 

“Well, I may have already taken a look at the website and figured out how to code it, so all I would need is for Mundungus to copy and paste the new code into the source code for the website,” Sirius said. “Either that or just give me host access to the website so I can do it myself.”

Remus shut off the burner and wedged the phone between his ear and his shoulder again to carry the pot to the sink and strain them. “You know web design?” 

Sirius laughed at the almost incredulous tone in Remus’ voice. “It’s just a WordPress site. It’s not that complicated. But, yeah, I know a little bit. I took a web design to fill a core requirement while I was at Trinity in Dublin.”

“No, way!” Remus blurted out. In his excitement, his hand slipped, sloshing some of the still-hot water. “Jesus Shit! Fucking hell!” He flinched and dropped both the pot and his phone. Thankfully, he’d dropped the pot directly into the colander, so at least his dinner wasn’t ruined. Sucking on the quickly reddening burn on his hand, he bent over to pick up his phone from the floor. No cracks, thank God. 

“You alright, Remus?” Sirius tentatively asked once Remus brought the phone back to his ear. 

“Fuck,” Remus whispered under his breath, staring at his hand. “Yeah, sorry, I’m just a massive klutz today, apparently. I’m attempting to cook dinner, and I just splashed scalding water on my hand.”

“Do you need to go?” 

“No, it’s fine. I’m fine,” Remus said quickly. “I’m going to put you on speaker, though.” He put his phone on speaker and set it on the counter while he got to work straining the pasta. “So, you went to Trinity in Dublin?” 

“Oh, yeah. I wanted to get as far away from my parents as possible, so I put an entire ocean between us,” Sirius said casually. 

“As in the alma mater of Bram Stoker, Oscar Wilde, and Samuel Beckett? That Trinity College?”

Sirius laughed. “That’s the one. Although, I have to admit that I’m not really that familiar with any of their work.”

“You went to Trinity, and you’ve never read anything by their famous alumni?” Remus asked incredulously. With the pasta strained, he flicked off the burner heating the sauce and got down a bowl from one of the upper cabinets. Initially, he was supposed to be baking the pasta and sauce in a casserole dish, but now that he’s burned his hand, he can’t be bothered. 

“Well, I’ve read Dracula, obviously, and I was supposed to read something by Beckett once, but honestly, I didn’t much care for it. It just seems a little depressing to me. A little too... existentialist,” Sirius said simply. 

“How can you not care for Beckett? He was instrumental in the Theatre of the Absurd!” Remus grabbed his bowl of pasta and carried it into his small living room to eat it on the couch. “I mean, _Waiting for Godot_? What an amazing commentary on the absurdity of existence, the uncertainty of time, and the purposelessness of life. Also, Beckett wasn’t really an existentialist, he was just commonly labeled as one. And yeah, on the face of it, his works are a little depressive, but they’re actually about despair and the will to survive despite that despair, even in the face of an uncomprehending and incomprehensible world. And you’ve read nothing from Wilde? _The Importance of Being Earnest_? _A Picture of Dorian Gray_?” The other end of the line was silent as Remus started to gush about the aestheticism of Oscar Wilde. After a few minutes, Remus stopped and flushed. “Sorry,” he said, laughing nervously. “You probably don’t care about any of that. James tells me all the time that I get carried away talking about literature.”

“No, it’s fine. You seem to know what you’re talking about. Maybe if you’d been at Trinity with me, I might have read more.” Sirius chuckled. 

Remus smiled to himself. “So, what did you study?”

“Well, for my first semester, I studied business, but I was bored out of my mind with it, so I switched to history.”

“Really? Did you have a particular focus?” 

“Not really, but I did really enjoy the Italian Renaissance. I can’t really explain why, though. I think it was mostly the art. It was why I was so excited to finally go to Italy. I was planning on spending a month there, then Corona had to go and ruin my plans,” Sirius said sadly. 

“My parents were both professors of Roman history and mythology,” Remus said. 

“That explains your name then. I figured one of your parents had to love Roman myth,” Sirius teased. 

“My mom,” Remus said with a laugh. “I hated her for a while for it because I got teased so often as a kid.”

“I like it. It’s unique. Although, I might be biased seeing as I’m named after a star.”

Remus laughed again, then they both fell silent for a beat. “Well, I think that your website idea sounds like a great idea. It really would save a lot of time and hassle.”

“Thanks,” Sirius said.

“And if you think you’ve got a handle on it, you could probably start reading through proposals to see if there are any worth pursuing,” Remus offered. “Although, I’d still send them to me before reaching out to the author directly, just since I have a better grasp of what Monty tends to look for,” he added.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Sirius said brightly. “I’ll let you get to your dinner. Have a good night, Remus.”

“You, too.”

The moment Remus hung up the phone, he pulled up his message thread with James and typed out a message: “ _You’re right, Sirius isn’t anything like Lockhart._ ”

* * *

** SIRIUS **

**———**

**JAMES**

4/8/2020 - 8:25 PM

_Jamie. I think I’m in trouble._

**_Where are you?_ ** ****

**_What’s going on?_ ** ****

**_Who do I need to beat up?_ **

_I think me._

**_What did you do?_ **

_Nothing!_

_Yet!_

_But I’m pretty sure you’re gonna kill me._

**_Oh for the love of— Just spit it out._ **

_I’M TRYING._

_UGH._

_Ok._

_So, I think maybe_

_Perhaps_

_It’s a slight possibility_

_That I might be starting to like Remus?_

**_Wait, what? Like, as in LIKE?_ ** ****

**_What happened? Literally three days ago you  
_ ** **_were messaging me about to rip his hair out for  
_ ** **_giving you busy work and you thought he hated  
_ ** **_you. And now you have a crush on him?_ **

_It’s not a crush! I’m not twelve._

_Ok, maybe it is a crush._

_I don’t know!_

_So I called him because I finally figured out that  
_ _query form for the website and I wanted to tell him  
_ _about it so he might actually trust me with some  
_ _more work. And for the first time, he was actually  
_ _talking to me, like full sentences and not at all in  
_ _that clipped tone he has._

 **_Oh, I know the tone you’re talking about. So, he’s  
_ ** **_finally talking to you...?_ **

_And it’s fine. It’s only about work, but that’s fine. I  
_ _don’t need to be friends, I just need him to not treat  
_ _me like I’m an idiot._

 _So he of course asks how I know how to do web  
_ _design and I tell him I took a few classes when I was  
_ _at Trinity._

 _Then all of a sudden, and I mean literally out of  
_ _nowhere, he screams out a stream of curse words  
_ _because he was cooking and burned himself on  
_ _something._

 **_Oh yeah, Remus may look like a cinnamon roll and  
_ ** **_a librarian had a baby, but he curses like a  
_ ** **_freaking sailor._ **

_It just occurred to me that I have no idea what he  
_ _even looks like._

**_You haven’t tried to social media stalk him yet?_ **

_Not yet. I kind of like not knowing._

_But anyway, then he does a complete 180 and he  
_ _starts going on about these authors that went to  
_ _Trinity, and he sounds so excited and passionate  
_ _about it. One minute he’s screaming obscenities,  
_ _and the next he’s going on about symbolism in  
_ _Waiting for Godot._

**_Oh man. You fell into the trap, didn’t you?_ **

_The trap?_

**_He pulls people in with his nearly infectious  
_ ** **_enthusiasm for the written word. I swear, in  
_ ** **_college Remus had more girls after him than the  
_ ** **_guys on the football team. Not that he noticed  
_ ** **_really. He’s kind of oblivious._ ** ****

**_Anyway, we started calling it “the Remus Literary  
_ ** **_Trap.” And it’s just claimed another victim._ ** ****

**_Oh, wait until I tell Lil and Marls._ **

_DON’T YOU DARE._

**_Were you grinning like an idiot?_ **

_Maybe._

**_And did you stay silent long enough, just listening  
_ ** **_to him go on, that he stopped himself and  
_ ** **_apologized for babbling like an idiot?_ **

_I couldn’t help it! It was the most he’d ever said to  
_ _me. And dammit it was just so endearing._

_And I don’t even like Beckett!_

**_Yup. Classic victim of the trap._ **

_Ugh. I’m sure this will just pass._

_In your infinite wisdom, how long do people usually  
_ _stay under the “Remus literary” spell?_

 **_Not very long. Just don’t get stuck in another  
_ ** **_conversation with him about literature._ **

_Jamie._

_We work at a freaking publishing company._

_That’s going to be impossible._

**_Welp. Then.... You’re doomed?_ **

_I hate you._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **CW:** Quarantine Anxiety, Implied/Referenced Homophobia  
>   
> This chapter hits a little close with the Jily stuff since I recently had to postpone my own wedding due to COVID-19. If you also had to postpone your wedding, I know how you feel and it totally sucks.  
> 

** SIRIUS **

**———**

**REMUS**

4/9/2020 - 7:45 PM 

_“It looks like this continent is out of water,” I said in  
_ _Antarctica, as a rookery of penguins waddled  
_ _thirstily by._

**_I’m sorry, what?_ **

_That’s my favorite bad quote from the proposals I  
_ _read today._

_What exactly does thirsty waddling look like  
_ _anyway?_

**_Haha, I have absolutely no idea._ **

4/10/2020 - 6:30 PM 

_“Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat  
_ _detached, but then penguins often do.”_

_I really thought you were kidding when you were  
_ _saying how bad most of these were._

**_Oh, I really wish I was. Is that from the same  
_ ** **_manuscript as yesterday?_ **

_NO._

_It’s a completely different one._

**_You’re messing with me._ **

_I’M NOT._

_This was my second penguin book._

**_Are they children’s books?_ **

_NOPE._

_And this one is actually ABOUT A PENGUIN._

_Like, the penguin is the main character._

**_No._ **

_YES._

_It’s kind of like Detective Pikachu, but with a  
_ _penguin._

_Should I send it to you to pursue?_

**_Please, God, No_ **

_Oh, come on._

_According to the pitch, there’s even a romantic  
_ _subplot!_

**_Please tell me you’re screwing with me._ **

_Hahahaha_

_I’m totally messing with you._

_Well, about pursuing it, not about the romantic  
_ _subplot._

**_Oh, thank fuck._ **

4/11/2020 - 3:15 PM 

_“She walked in with a dress the paralyzing green of  
_ _the BlackWidow Ultimate Stealth 2014 Edition Elite  
_ _Mechanical Gaming Keyboard by Razer (4.5 stars,  
_ _37 customer reviews)”_

_This is an actual product. I googled it._

**_That is... Very specific. Also, are you working on a  
_ ** **_Saturday?_ **

_Oh, no. I read that one a few days ago._

_I’m keeping a running list._

**_Ok, I just Googled that. That is a VERY bright  
_ ** **_green. Who wears a dress that color?_ **

_And right??? I mean, The shoelaces on my running  
_ _shoes are that bright of a green, but that’s just  
_ _shoelaces._

**_Oh no, are you one of those pathological runner  
_ ** **_people?_ **

_I wouldn’t say pathological..._

_But yeah, I run on occasion._

**_Ugh. Having one runner friend is bad enough; I’m  
_ ** **_not sure I can stand having two._ **

_Ok, I am nowhere NEAR James levels of running  
_ _(I’m assuming you’re talking about James)._

_And I would never drag you out for a run if that  
_ _makes you feel better._

**_It does._ **

_So does our possible friendship live to see another  
_ _day?_

**_The jury is still out... :)_ **

4/13/2020 - 6:03 PM 

_“Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with  
_ _cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa  
_ _Claus lay dead on the hotel floor.”_

**_What the fuck?_ **

_It’s a gem, right?_

**_If by “gem,” you mean “officially ruins Christmas,”  
_ ** **_then sure._ **

_Haha! So sorry._

_If it makes you feel better, I also ruined Christmas  
_ _for James._

**_Well, misery does love company._ **

_In all seriousness though, I think that legitimately  
_ _might be the worst thing I’ve read._

**_That was pretty bad._ ** ****

**_But trust me, it gets much worse, especially with  
_ ** **_the romance novels._ **

_Well I know what I’m focusing my attention on  
_ _tomorrow thennn :)_

4/14/2020 - 8:30 PM 

_Oh, god. You were right._

_The romance novels._

_They’re so bad._

**_Told you._ **

_Honest to God quote: “Let me tell you about Sally.  
_ _Her tits were good.”_

_And that wasn’t even the worst one, it was just the  
_ _funniest._

**_Oh yeah. It’s bad._ **

_I’ve learned so many new euphemisms._

**_I read one once that was set in a magic school. So  
_ ** **_many uses of the word “wand.”_ **

_Well, I guess both are magical wood..._

**_Jesus Fuck._ **

_Sorry!_

_Couldn’t help it. It was right there._

_So, do you read a lot?_

_Outside of the job, I mean?_

**_Not as much as I’d like to, but more so now with  
_ ** **_the quarantine. My to-be-read pile has been  
_ ** **_getting blissfully smaller over the past two  
_ ** **_months._ **

_I know what you mean._

_My to-be-watched list is getting progressively  
_ _shorter. I didn’t get around to watching a lot of  
_ _television while I was abroad, but now I’ve got  
_ _nothing but time._

_What are you reading now?_

**_A Dance With Dragons._ **

_Isn’t that the book series that Game of Thrones was  
_ _based on?_

_I’ve been debating whether or not to start watching  
_ _it._

**_How have you never watched Game of Thrones?  
_ ** **_You have to be one of the only people on the  
_ ** **_planet who hasn’t._ **

_Hey!_

_Like I said, I haven’t had a lot of time for the past 6  
_ _years to sit and watch television._

**_Ah yes, you were too busy traipsing around  
_ ** **_Europe staying in fancy hotels and partying in  
_ ** **_bars and clubs._** **_:P_**

_Actually, judgy pants, I stayed mostly in hostels or  
_ _couch surfed. I’ll give you the bars and clubs thing,  
_ _but I was bartending at them so I wasn’t actually  
_ _partying._

_I was trying to stay off the grid._

**_“Judgy pants”?_ **

_Shut it._

_So is the show worth watching?_

**_Overall, I’d say so. The first 6 seasons are  
_ ** **_outstanding. And season 8 had one of the best  
_ ** **_episodes, in my opinion. The rest of the season is  
_ ** **_complete shit, though._ **

_I’ll have to add it to my list then._

_Once I finish Riverdale that is._

**_You mean the show meant for teenagers on the  
_ ** **_CW?_ **

_SO JUDGEMENTAL._

4/16/2020 - 8:32 PM 

_“Her embrace made his manhood swell like week  
_ _old roadkill on hot asphalt in the Georgia sun.”_

**_Thank you for that lovely image. And by lovely, I  
_ ** **_mean horrifying._ **

_What? Are you telling me that that beautiful string  
_ _of words DOESN’T set the fires of your loins alight?_

**_I think it’s time that you step away from the  
_ ** **_romance novels._ **

_You might be right..._

4/17/2020 - 11:52 PM 

_“My ejaculation was violent, and repeated.”_

**_WHAT_ **

_“There was nothing I could do to make it stop. If it  
_ _continued, I worried, I would be completely emptied  
_ _out.”_

**_What the fuck?_ ** ****

**_Hang on that seems horrifyingly familiar... I’ve  
_ ** **_read that before. Why are you going through the  
_ ** **_rejected proposals in the middle of the night on a  
_ ** **_Friday? Why are you working at all?_ **

_I can’t sleep, so I thought that maybe getting tipsy  
_ _and reading rejected manuscripts might keep me  
_ _entertained._

_Except instead I just ended up SCARRED FOR LIFE._

_Sorry if I woke you up._

**_You didn’t wake me up. I can’t sleep either, so I  
_ ** **_thought I would try to get some work done._ **

_Working in the middle of the night on a Friday?_

_A little hypocritical of you, dear Remus._

**_Ha. Ha. I’m working on my own terrible  
_ ** **_manuscript, not publishing stuff._ **

_Wait, you’re a writer?_

**_Trying to be, anyway. I’ve had writer’s block for  
_ ** **_the past six months._ **

_That sucks, I’m sorry._

_Have you tried getting super drunk or high? I’ve  
_ _heard that sometimes that helps boost creativity._

**_Well, I can’t smoke, so getting high is right out,  
_ ** **_and I’ve always found drinking alone in my  
_ ** **_apartment to be quite depressing._ **

_Well, technically you’re not alone._

_You’ve got me._ _Virtually, that is._

_Sorry. Am I distracting you?_

_Should I leave you to write?_

**_No, sorry, my best friend Mary was texting me too  
_ ** **_with her nightly reminder to tell me to “go the  
_ ** **_fuck to sleep”, which I should probably do._ **

_I guess I should try to sleep too._

**_I appreciate the offer for a virtual drinking buddy,  
_ ** **_though. I might have to take you up on that at  
_ ** **_some point._ **

_I’d like that :)_

_Goodnight, Remus_

**_Goodnight, Sirius :)_ **

**—**

**JAMES**

4/18/2020 - 3:22 PM

**_Hey, so Lily and I did a lot of thinking. It doesn’t  
_ ** **_look like the restrictions for events are going to be  
_ ** **_lifted in time for June 20, and we don’t want to  
_ ** **_risk anyone getting sick or anything. So we’re  
_ ** **_postponing the wedding until next year._ **

_God, Jamie._

_I mean, it makes complete sense and it was  
_ _probably the right decision, but fuck that really  
_ _sucks._

_What do you need me to do?_

_I can help reach out to vendors if you need me to, or  
_ _literally anything else you need._

**_Thanks. Marlene is taking care of a lot of it, but I’ll  
_ ** **_give her your number in case she needs help._ **

_Marlene is Lily’s maid of honor?_

**_Yeah. And she did a lot of the planning, actually._ ** ****

**_It’s good that Marlene is taking over dealing with  
_ ** **_all of this because Lily is not in the right place to  
_ ** **_be dealing with it right now._ **

_Of course she’s not. Is she doing ok?_

_Do you want me to call?_

**_No. Lily’s asleep I don’t want to wake her up. She  
_ ** **_managed to hold it together while she was on the  
_ ** **_phone with her parents and Marlene, but the  
_ ** **_second she hung up…_ **

_Poor Lily-pad._

**_Lily’s taking it a lot harder than I am. I mean, I’m  
_ ** **_upset, don’t get me wrong._ ** ****

**_But we’ve also been agonizing over this decision  
_ ** **_for a month now, ever since the stay at home  
_ ** **_order was put in place. So part of me is relieved?_ ** ****

**_Like, at least we’ve made a decision, ya know?_ **

_Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I’d be upset too. But  
_ _you have a point. At least now you know what’s  
_ _going on now._

_Fuck, I hate this for you guys._

**_Yeah. I hate it too._ ** ****

**_I was just so excited to get married this year. I  
_ ** **_mean, I knew after our first date that I wanted to  
_ ** **_marry her._ **

_Yeah, I remember that phone call. You were  
_ _absolutely smitten._

**_Still am._ ** ****

**_God and 4 years later I get so close to being able  
_ ** **_to do just that, and a stupid pandemic gets in the  
_ ** **_way._ ** ****

**_Fuck._ ** ****

**_Ok, maybe I’m not handling this as well as I  
_ ** **_thought._ **

_Who says you can’t still get married this year?_

_I mean, you can’t have the big fancy reception this  
_ _year, but you can still get married. At some point  
_ _small gatherings of people will probably be ok._

**_You think?_ **

_Yeah._

_Everyone would understand._

_I’m sure lots of people are doing the same thing._

_You can still stand up in front of the priest and say  
_ _your vows, and just have the big party next year  
_ _when everything’s calmed down._

**_Well, technically the original plan was to stand up  
_ ** **_in front of Remus, but I get your point._ ** ****

**_I’ll propose the idea to Lily once she wakes up. I  
_ ** **_couldn’t care less if we had a big ceremony as long  
_ ** **_as I got to call her my wife._ **

_Make sure you say that when you propose the idea._

_Remus was going to officiate?_

**_Yeah, it was the best compromise Lily and I could  
_ ** **_come up with. She wanted him to be a bridesman  
_ ** **_and I wanted him as a groomsman, so he offered  
_ ** **_to officiate instead._ **

_Of course he did._

_That is such a Remus thing to do._

**_You’re still nursing that crush, aren’t you?_ **

_UGH. YES._

_But we can talk about that later._

**_I don’t mind. Honestly, a distraction is kind of  
_ ** **_welcome right now._ ** ****

**_Wait, I think Lily is waking up._ **

_No, it’s fine. Go comfort your fiancé._

_Good luck on your second proposal._

_And give Lily-pad a big hug from me and tell her I  
_ _love her._

_—_

**REMUS**

4/18/2020 - 4:03 PM 

_Hey. I’m assuming that James has talked to you by  
_ _now._

**_Lily told me. And I also heard from Marlene. She’s  
_ ** **_already putting me to work. I just hate this for  
_ ** **_them._ **

_Wow, she works fast._

_What does she have you doing? Anything I can help  
_ _with?_

_I feel useless. I wasn’t around at all during the  
_ _planning part of anything so I just want something  
_ _to do now to try to help._

**_Well, unless you know calligraphy, I’m not sure  
_ ** **_you’d be of much help. Marlene’s got me drafting  
_ ** **_the “change the dates” since I was the one that  
_ ** **_did the original invitations._ **

_Wait, those were you?_

_Those were so good!_

_Did you just do the calligraphy or did you do the  
_ _artwork for it too?_

**_Art too, but it’s not that big of a deal. It was just a  
_ ** **_little bit of watercolor._ **

_So you’re a writer and an artist? Anything else I  
_ _should know about you?_

**_I wouldn’t really call myself an artist._ **

_I would. Those invitations looked amazing! I  
_ _thought they professionally ordered those._

_Do you have any pictures of other stuff you’ve  
_ _done?_

**_I mean, there’s some on my Instagram, but  
_ ** **_honestly, none of it is that good and probably isn’t  
_ ** **_worth looking at…_ **

_Welp, too late. Already searching for your profile._

**_Ugh, I shouldn’t have said anything._ **

_@rethemoon_

_Of course you made a moon reference._

_Also, how are there absolutely no photos of you on  
_ _here? Lots of coffee and books, but no you._

**_I don’t really take photos of myself._ **

_Ok, finally found some. Remus, this stuff is really  
_ _good._

**_It’s really not. I hardly get the chance to practice  
_ ** **_anymore because my wrists are shit, so my more  
_ ** **_recent stuff is even worse._ **

_What’s wrong with your wrists?_

_If you don’t mind me asking._

**_No, it’s ok._ ** ****

**_I have Rheumatoid Arthritis. It’s an autoimmune  
_ ** **_disease that basically makes all of my joints  
_ ** **_inflamed. I have the most problems with my hips  
_ ** **_and wrists, but sometimes it’s everything._ **

_Oh. That’s… I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m sure you’re  
_ _probably sick of hearing things like that._

**_So fucking sick of it._ **

_Well, then I’ll just say that you’re crazy if you think  
_ _you’re not still a good artist just because you  
_ _occasionally have wrist problems, seeing as you did  
_ _those invitations recently and they were beautiful._

**_Oh. Well, Thanks._ **

_:)_

**_:_** ) 

* * *

** REMUS **

**———**

Remus smiled to himself, staring down at his phone as Sirius’ contact popped up on the screen with an incoming call. As much as he hated to admit it, smiling at his phone was becoming a more common occurrence. Ever since their impromptu phone conversation at the beginning of the month, Sirius had continued to surprise Remus with his charismatic sense of humor. Nearly every night, Remus found himself waiting patiently by his phone for that day’s bad query quote, desperately wanting some excuse to talk to him.

Shoving his laptop to the empty side of the bed, Remus curled his legs up into his chest and swiped at his phone to accept the call. “Hi,” he said in a tone that he hoped had come across casually.

“Remus, I think I actually found a winner,” Sirius’ voice rang through the speaker.

Was that a faint English accent he was hearing?

“Like, something that’s actually good. The author only sent the first three chapters, but God, they’re perfect. I’m obsessed. I’ve already read it twice,” Sirius continued in a rush.

Remus’ mouth dropped open for a brief moment. The longer Sirius spoke, the more pronounced the accent became. It had a few weeks since he’d last talked to Sirius on the phone, but he would have remembered if Sirius had an accent.

“Remus? You there?”

Remus shut his mouth and shook his head to clear it. “Yeah, sorry. Um, Sirius? Why are you putting on an English accent?”

“Oh, shit,” Sirius muttered, a nervous laugh escaping him before clearing his throat. “That happens sometimes.” Remus stayed silent, confused, so Sirius continued.

“I was actually born in London. I moved to New York when I was ten. My whole family still has an accent, but I worked really hard to make sure I don’t have one,” he explained, his vague American accent slowly returning as he spoke.

“Oh,” Remus said, swallowing dryly. “But it’s coming back?”

Sirius cleared his throat nervously again. “I’ve been living with my cousin Andi, so mine creeps back up when I’m not paying attention.”

“Wait,” Remus said quickly, finally coming to his senses, “I thought— well, I assumed you were staying with James since he said you were kind of on the outs with your family.”

“That’s one way to put it,” Sirius said with a laugh, this one more genuine. “But Andi is cool. She’s the other black stain on the otherwise impeccable pedigree of the Black family.”

Remus can’t help the laugh that escaped his lips. He quickly clapped a hand over his mouth. “Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh. That just sounds so—”

“Dramatic?” Sirius said, laughing as well. “I wish I could say that I was kidding, but honest to God, that’s exactly what my family is like. A bunch of posh bigots, the lot of them. Andi and I are not, so they disowned us.”

“Disowned? People actually do that still?”

“Rich, powerful families like mine do. One wrong move that they can’t ignore, and you’re out. For Andi, it was getting knocked up out of wedlock, then eloping and moving to LA.”

“Your family kicked her out for that? How old was she?” Remus asked.

“Let’s see... Twenty-three, I think? So, a grown-ass woman. It was some bullshit. But Aunt Dru was much nicer about Andi’s disownment than my dear mother was about mine,” Sirius said a little too casually. “She was vicious about it. Completely disinherited, shares in the family company revoked, banned from all family functions, and from any contact with anyone. She even burned my name off the family tree that hangs in the family home in London,” Sirius said dryly. “Andi’s sister, Bella, took immense joy in texting me a picture of that before cutting off complete contact.”

“So it wasn’t just that you got cut off,” Remus said carefully. “Your parents completely cut you out of their life?”

Sirius laughed hollowly. “I’m guessing that’s what Jamie told you? That I was just cut off?”

“He didn’t say a lot, to be honest. But I kind of assumed...” Remus trailed off, embarrassed.

“Yeah, that makes sense. Explains why you were kind of a jerk at first. You probably thought I was just some rich kid that spent too much of mommy’s and daddy’s money, so they were teaching me a lesson.” Sirius’ tone was light and teasing, but Remus still felt terrible.

“I’m so sorry—”

“Don’t worry about it. I figured Jamie hadn’t filled you in on what happened. He knows I don’t really like to talk about my family.”

“Still, I operated under a completely false assumption of who you were, and that wasn’t fair to you at all,” Remus said in a rush.

“Rem, it’s fine,” Sirius said with a laugh. “Really. I would have absolutely hated it if you treated me any differently just because I had shitty luck.”

“I can understand that,” Remus empathized. He felt the same way about his RA.

They fell silent for a long moment until Sirius spoke up again. “So, you didn’t ask me what I did to get the boot.”

“Didn’t want to pry,” Remus said softly. “You said that you don’t really like talking about your family.”

“I don’t with strangers, but you aren’t exactly a stranger.”

“So, what did you do then?” Remus asked cautiously.

“Well, it was more of a ‘who’ I did,” Sirius said cheekily.

Remus pulled his knees closer to his chest, his stomach flipping as he already anticipated what would come out of Sirius’ mouth next.

“I guess Walburga, that’s dear mother, was sick of me hiding from her in Europe, so she sent her PI to find me and drag me back home. And, well, he found me shacking up with a guy, and Walburga couldn’t stomach that,” Sirius said matter-of-factly.

“She disowned you because you’re gay?” Remus croaked. He suddenly felt nauseated.

“Well, bi, but yeah.”

“That’s— that’s disgusting,” he stammered. “I mean, what is this? The early 1900s? Who cares who you sleep with?”

“Right?” Sirius said.

“Well, she sounds like a cunt,” Remus said simply.

Sirius let out a surprised laugh. “Bloody hell, Rem.”

Remus’ stomach fluttered again as Sirius’ accent slipped back for just a moment. “Sorry, I don’t normally use that word but—”

“No, the shoe fits. Your foul mouth continues to surprise me, though.”

“Sorry. Lily yells at me for it constantly,” Remus said sheepishly.

“Don’t apologize— I like it,” Sirius said softly.

“Can I ask you another question?” Remus asked tentatively.

“Shoot.”

“Why do you try so hard to suppress your accent?”

Sirius sighed. “It’s going to sound stupid, but I thought it would make me less like them. I started to lose the accent pretty quickly once I was at boarding school, and whenever I was home on break, I could see how annoyed it made my parents that I had a ‘dirty American accent,’ so I worked harder to make sure I kept it.”

“That doesn’t sound stupid. It makes a lot of sense, actually.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I mean, your family sounds like they’re a bunch of complete dicks,” Sirius laughed, then Remus continued, “but I don’t think having an accent makes you like them. Where you came from is part of you. So, if your accent is starting to come back, what’s wrong with that?”

“I guess that’s true,” Sirius mused.

“Besides,” Remus ventured, “I think it suits you.”

—

**MARY**

4/20/2020 - 9:30 PM 

_So, he’s bi._

**_OMG Hot new co-worker guy?_ ** ****

**_REMUS_ ** ****

**_I KNEW you had a crush on him. Why else would  
_ ** **_you be freaking out over finding out he’s bi?_ **

_I’m not freaking out, I’m just a little surprised that I  
_ _didn’t already know from James._

**_Remus..._ **

_Ok, fine. But I don’t think its a crush. I think I’m just  
_ _lonely, and I’m just confusing those feelings for  
_ _something else._

**_Bullshit. We talk nearly every day same with Lily,  
_ ** **_James, and Marlene every day._ **

_That’s not the same as actual social interaction,  
_ _and you know it._

**_I didn’t say it was. You didn’t let me get to my  
_ ** **_point._ **

_Floor’s yours, counselor._

**_Ok. So you text me, Lily, James, and Marlene  
_ ** **_almost every day. We talk on the phone at least  
_ ** **_three times a week. And yet, you don’t seem to be  
_ ** **_developing a crush on any of us “because you’re  
_ ** **_lonely,” are you?_ **

_Ok, but counterargument: I’ve known you all for a  
_ _really long time. It wouldn’t make sense for me to  
_ _develop a crush on any of you after this long, would  
_ _it? But Sirius is new._

**_Sure, he’s new, but he’s also “charming”,  
_ ** **_“charismatic”, “funny”…_ **

_Ugh. I really need to stop telling you everything._

_OH, and he also has a British accent._

**_And he just gets hotter._ ** ****

**_But wait, I thought he was from New York?_ ** ****

**_And you’ve talked on the phone with him before.  
_ ** **_How are you just now noticing it?_ **

_Apparently, he was born in London and moved to  
_ _New York when he was a kid, which is why he  
_ _doesn’t really have an accent. But, he’s living with  
_ _his cousin, and she still has the accent, so his is  
_ _starting to come back._

**_So. Hot._ ** ****

**_Ok, sorry. I’m just packing that away for some me  
_ ** **_time later._ ** ****

**_Unless you have a claim over the tall, dark,  
_ ** **_handsome, guitar playing, tattoo-covered man  
_ ** **_with an accent for your own spank bank?_ **

_MARY. You’re gay. Also, you live with your  
_ _girlfriend._

**_Oh, please. Just because I usually only date  
_ ** **_women doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the male  
_ ** **_form._ ** ****

**_Besides, Emmeline agrees. Sirius is hot. And even  
_ ** **_hotter with an accent._ ** ****

**_Hold on._ ** ****

**_She’s telling me that you need to tap that, ASAP._ **

_Hang on, he plays guitar? He has tattoos? Fuuuuck.  
_ _And how do you even know that?_

**_Stalked his Instagram. OHHH boy. Hold on._ **

**_Sirius Black  
_ ** **_(@Whysosirius)  
_ ** **_Instagram photos and videos  
_ ** **_Instagram.com_ **

_Yeah, I know what his Instagram is. He followed me  
_ _the other day._

**_And you didn’t follow him back? Or check his feed  
_ ** **_at all?_ **

_I thought he was straight. I didn’t want to stalk his  
_ _Instagram lest my inappropriate crush get worse._

**_You’re hopeless._ ** ****

**_So how did him being queer come up?_ **

_We were talking about his cousin, and he off-  
_ _handedly mentions that they were both disowned  
_ _by their family._

**_Is that even a thing still? What is this? The early  
_ ** **_1900s?_ **

_That’s what I said._

**_Wait, did his family really disown him for being  
_ ** **_queer?_ **

**_I’m guessing that’s what it is. Makes sense based  
_ ** **_on context._ ** ****

**_W the actual F?_ ** ****

**_IS this the early 1900s? It’s 2020 who cares if he  
_ ** **_gets it on with men too?_ **

_Yeah. They did. It’s a lot worse than that, too. I won’t  
_ _get into the details, but his family is absolutely  
_ _fucking awful._

_I just feel like I completely misjudged him. At first, I  
_ _thought that he was this over-inflated rich boy with  
_ _a desperate desire to rebel for no reason, but now...  
_ _Idk. I mean, with a family like his, no wonder he  
_ _wanted to rebel against them. There’s just a lot  
_ _more to him than I initially thought._

**NOTIFICATION: MESSAGES - Sirius Black - iMessage**

**_This isn’t just a crush, is it? You really like him._ **

— 

**SIRIUS**

4/20/2020 - 10:30 PM 

**_So, I realized that I didn’t get to talk to you about  
_ ** **_why I actually called._ **

_Oh, right, the query. I forgot._

**_Same haha._ ** ****

**_Anyway, I think it’s easily the best thing I’ve read  
_ ** **_so far. Although I might be biased because it’s set  
_ ** **_in the middle of the Italian Renaissance._ ** ****

**_Do you want me to send it to you?_ **

_I don’t think I’ll have time. The first round of edits  
_ _came in from that author I’ve been working with, so  
_ _I’m swamped._

**_Oh, alright._ ** ****

**_Should I just put it aside for now, then?_ **

_Oh, no, I meant I think you should reach out to the  
_ _author yourself._

**_Oh. Yeah. Ok. I can do that._ **

**_You think I’m ready?_ **

_Of course. I know I was a little cautious at first, but  
_ _you’ve proved that you’ve got good instincts. I trust  
_ _you._

**NOTIFICATION: MESSAGES - Mary Macdonald - Text message**

**_Thanks, Rem. That means a lot._ **

_Of course._

_—_

**MARY**

**_Remus?_ **

_Sorry. Sirius texted me. And before you say  
_ _anything, it was a work thing._

**_At 10:30 at night?_ **

_Mary… Don’t read into it. He texts me about work  
_ _at night all the time. Just because he’s bisexual  
_ _doesn’t automatically mean he likes me._

**_You don’t know that unless you do something  
_ ** **_about it._ **

_And how am I supposed to do something about it in  
_ _the middle of a fucking pandemic? It’s not exactly  
_ _prime conditions for dating._

**_Ok, but this won’t be forever. Eventually things  
_ ** **_will start to go back to normal, and in the  
_ ** **_meantime you can have Zoom dates._ **

_Except we have no idea when things are going to  
_ _go back to normal, Mary. And even if they go back  
_ _to normal for the rest of the world, I’m still going to  
_ _have to be more cautious than everyone else. It’s  
_ _not fair to saddle someone with having to be overly  
_ _careful just for me._

**_Where is this coming from, Rem? You’ve never let  
_ ** **_your RA stand in the way of you dating before._ **

_Things are different now. Before, I was in pain all  
_ _the time and a depressed mess because of it, but  
_ _now I can’t even go to the grocery store for myself.  
_ _Shit’s fucked, Mary. Shit’s fucked._

**_This is just temporary, though. It won’t always be  
_ ** **_like this._ **

_You can’t know that!_

**_Fine. You’re right. I DON’T know that. But that  
_ ** **_doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be happy._** **_And  
_** **_who’s to say that lover boy wouldn’t happily take  
_ ** **_extra precautions for you.  
_ ** **_I mean, you’re a catch._ **

_You have to say that. You’re my best friend._

**_I mean it though. Honestly, Rem, if I had any  
_ ** **_romantic interest in men, I would have scooped  
_ ** **_you up a long time ago. But sadly, our emotional  
_ ** **_bond was destined to be platonic in nature._ **

_Mary…_ _Look, I get you’re trying to cheer me up, and  
_ _I really do love you for it, but there’s not much that  
_ _you can say to make me feel better about this._

**_Rem…_ **

_Please Mar? It’s late, and I’m tired._

**_Ok. But for the record, I think you should give this  
_ ** **_a chance._ **

_I’ll take your thoughts into consideration._

**_Love you, you stubborn old man, you._ **

_Love you too, you equally stubborn crazy lady, you._

_—_

Remus threw his phone on the charging pad on his nightstand and shut the lights off. It hadn’t been just some lie to get Mary off his back, he really was exhausted. But he was also completely wired. It was almost his constant state of being at this point. Fucking exhausted, but too awake to actually sleep. He tried doing the deep breathing exercise he’d read about online that was supposed to induce sleep, but it wasn’t working. He was still wholly awake. Awake and running his conversation with Sirius over and over again in his brain. And even though he didn’t want to, his mind was also trying to put together a mental picture of what Sirius looked like in relation to what Remus already knew about him. Charismatic. Charming. Funny. Lived in Europe for 7 years. Bartends. Tattoos. Plays guitar. Screw it. Remus grabbed his phone off the charging pad, pulled up Instagram. 

Almost the instant Sirius’ profile loaded, Remus felt his breath leave him in a sharp exhale. Mary was right. Sirius was fucking gorgeous, with shoulder-length black curly hair framed his severe bone structure, a sparkle in his grey eyes, a slight tan to his skin that hinted how often he spent outside, and tattoos. God, the tattoos. He had at least four that he could see, but who knew how many more he had hidden on his skin. Remus sighed as he scrolled, unable to stop himself. He was completely out of his league. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The accent thing is based on a friend I had in college. He normally didn’t have an accent, but whenever he talked to his parents (who did) it started to slip back. I heard it happen once when he was on the phone with them and once he hung up he looked at me and was like, “Never mention this to anyone.”  
>   
> If you want to read where I got the bad literature quotes from, follow these links:  
> [Worst Romance Novel Quotes Ever](https://www.tickld.com/wow/1840040/20-worst-romance-novel-quotes-eve/)  
> [Bad Sex Awards 2018](https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/nov/30/bad-sex-award-2018-the-contenders-in-quotes)  
> [Worst Opening Lines in Literature](https://www.cartalk.com/radio/letter/winners-worst-opening-lines-literature)  
> [Worst First Sentence Winners](https://www.boredpanda.com/worst-first-sentence-lyttle-lytton-contest-winners-2018/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic)


	4. Chapter 4

** SIRIUS **

**———**

**REMUS**

4/24/2020 - 7:32 PM

 _“Oh! It is absurd to have a hard-and-fast rule about  
_ _what one should read and what one shouldn’t.  
_ _More than half of modern culture depends on what  
_ _one shouldn’t read.”_

**_The Importance of Being Earnest?_ **

_Well, you went on about it for a good 45 minutes so  
_ _I thought I’d give it a read._

 **_Ok, I did NOT go on for 45 minutes. It was more  
_ ** **_like five. But anyway, what did you think?_ **

_I LOVED It._

_Also, I’ve basically been a Bunburyist my entire life  
_ _haha._

 **_Is it really Bunburying, though, if you’re throwing it  
_ ** **_in your parents’ faces?_ **

_Oi! You make it sound as if I was just some common  
_ _rebel._

 _I like to think of it as me commenting on society by  
_ _escaping what they considered to be “proper” and  
_ _“decent”._

 _Although, it was immensely satisfying watching  
_ _Burga fume at the ears._

**_Very Algernon of you._ **

_Why thank you._

_High praise since he’s the best character in the play._

**_Of COURSE, you think that. :P_ **

_What? I’m guessing you’re more of a Jack fan?_

**_Well, he is the title character of the play, after all._ **

**_And I think there’s a lot to learn from his journey. I  
_ ** **_kind of identified with him when I first read it._ **

_Are you telling me that you have a secret wild side  
_ _that I don’t know about?_

 **_Well, if I did, it wouldn’t exactly be in my best  
_ ** **_interest to tell you, would it?_ **

_Cheeky._

_Jack may be the title character, but Algernon is a  
_ _stand in for Wilde himself, which means that he’s  
_ _clearly the better character._

**_Becoming a Wilde fan now?_ **

_A little bit. I ordered a copy of Dorian Gray to read  
_ _next._

**_You know, there’s actually a movie about Wilde._ **

_Wait, really?_

_Ooooh. Hold on, Googling._

_Stephen Fry and Jude Law?_

**_Yup, that’s the one._ **

_We should watch it!_

**_Haha ok._ **

4/25/2020 - 10:30 AM

 _Ok, so I couldn’t find Wilde anywhere to stream, but  
_ _I may or may not have found a copy of it online in  
_ _some capacity._

**_You Torrented it didn’t you?_ **

_Maaaybe._

_So when do you want to watch it?_

**_Oh, you were serious?_ **

_I’m always Sirius._

**_Fucking hell._ **

_You walked right into that one, my dear Rem._

**_I KNOW._ **

_;)_

_But yes, I was serious. So when are you free?_

**_Oh, I don’t know. I have such a vibrant social calendar  
_ ** **_right now. Let me check._ **

**_Hmm… it appears I was mistaken. I am not doing  
_ ** **_anything on any night for the foreseeable future._ **

_Well, lucky me then._

_7 tonight work?_

**_Yeah, that works for me._ **

_Alright, great._

—

Sirius looked at the clock on his computer for probably the fiftieth time in five minutes, desperately wishing that time would move faster. Five more minutes until he could start the call with Remus. Five more minutes until he would finally be able to put a face to the voice and personality he’d grown to like so much. 

He ran his hands through his mass of shoulder-length black curls, trying to tame them. He’d been tempted to throw his hair up into a messy bun, as he usually did when he was lounging in bed watching tv, but his hair looked better down. And although he knew this wasn’t an actual date, he still wanted to look good. 

Two minutes until 7, Sirius opened a new Chrome window and logged into Kast to see that Remus was already online. He chewed on his lip for a moment as the cursor hovered over the start call button, then he sucked in a deep breath and clicked. Within a few seconds, the face of a boy who really could be described as the child of a cinnamon roll and a librarian lounging against a giant pile of pillows filled the screen. He had sandy brown curls that stuck up in all directions and was just long enough to hang in his soft green eyes. Green eyes that were accentuated by the oversized forest green jumper he was wearing. His pale skin was dotted with freckles, mostly focused in a patch across his nose, where there was also a faint scar. 

And then Remus smiled, and the breath Sirius had been holding left him in a rush. Bloody hell, that smile. Slightly nervous and shy, but also bright and lit up his entire face. “Hi,” Remus said softly. 

Sirius swallowed and forced what he hoped looked like an effortless smile on his face. “Hey.”

“How are you?” 

“Good. And you?”

“Good.” Remus bit his lip slightly, then brought a jumper-sleeve-covered hand and tucked it under his chin. 

“It’s good to put a face to your voice,” Sirius said. 

“Yeah. Same. I hear you’re not trying to hide your accent anymore,” Remus said.

“Oh, yeah, well…” Sirius shrugged and ran a hand through his hair nervously. “It was getting exhausting trying to avoid it when I talk to Andi so often. And you had a good point.”

“Well, I’m glad I could help.”

Sirius smiled, which Remus returned. “So, _Wilde_?”

Remus nodded, so Sirius started the screen-share, which unfortunately minimized Remus’ face to a small window in the corner, and pulled up the already queued window to press play. 

They stayed mostly silent as they watched the movie, until about halfway through when Sirius let out a scoff. “Oh, well, that’s just not fair,” Sirius said, mildly exasperated. “Why does Jude Law have to be able to sing and be so hot?”

“Fuck, I know,” Remus said with a sigh. “He’s so hot. Based on the number of times I watched Sherlock Holmes in high school, I should have realized I was bi a lot sooner.”

Sirius nearly choked. Remus was bi. Well, that bit of information didn’t help his ever-growing crush at all. It gave him hope, although probably unrealistic. Just because Remus was bi didn’t mean that he would automatically be interested in Sirius. Whatever focus he had on the movie was now gone. 

“So, if Jude Law wasn’t your big queer awakening, who was?” Sirius asked. 

“Oh, that’s a shit show of a story,” Remus said with a hollow laugh. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to pry,” Sirius said quickly. 

“Oh, no, it’s ok. So, it was my freshman year at UCLA,” Remus started.

Sirius lowered the volume on the video player window but left the movie playing. Then, he made the window with Remus’ face take up more room on his computer screen. “Guy on your dorm’s floor?” Sirius offered.

“Specifically, my roommate.”

“Oh, no,” Sirius whispered. 

“Oh, yes,” Remus said solemnly. “So, I started having feelings that one simply does not have for their roommate, and of course, I panic. So I text my best friend Mary, who’s still in Portland, because she came out as a gay in high school, so in theory, she would be able to talk me through it.”

“That’s good that you had someone to talk to who had experience.”

“I’m guessing you didn’t?” Remus asked.

“Not really. I mean Jamie was, but I’ll tell that story once you’re done,” Sirius said, gesturing for Remus to continue. 

“Right, so Mary talks me through it, and I realize I’m bi. Then, one night around Halloween, I came back to my dorm room tipsy because Marlene had managed to get some older student to sneak her some crappy alcohol—”

“Oh, no,” Sirius whispered again, already guessing where the story was going. 

“So, I get back to my room, and I decided that I was going to take a shot and at least come out to Benjy—that was the guy’s name. I didn’t really make a move on him, I just needed to tell someone else besides Mary, and I thought—” Remus shook his head. “I don’t even know what I thought.”

“Did he react badly?” Sirius asked tentatively, still waiting for the part of the story that qualified it as a “shit show”.

“No, actually. He asked how I realize that I was bi, and, in another alcohol-induced moment of confidence, I admitted that I had started having feelings for him. That was when he kissed me.”

“Oh!” Sirius clapped a hand over his mouth in surprise. 

Remus laughed. “Weren’t expecting that, were you?” Sirius shook his head. “Well, neither was I. But I went with it, and we started dating in secret. And it was nice, like, it wasn’t just hooking up. We did couple-y things together, too.”

“So, where does the ‘shit show’ part of this story come in?” 

“Ah, yes.” Remus bit his lip and wrapped his arms around his torso as if to comfort himself, and for a moment, Sirius couldn’t help but wish he was the one wrapping his arms around Remus in comfort. “Well, one night, about two weeks before the end of the spring semester, I came back early from a study group session to find Benjy with some random girl’s mouth around his cock,” Remus said bitterly.

“Oh, Re…”

“He then proceeded to deny that he had ever had feelings for me to begin with and insisted that he was straight.”

A surge of anger pulsed through Sirius. “That prick. What did you do?”

“Well, first, I withdrew my roommate request form for the next year and put in for a random roommate, then I slept in Lily’s and Marl’s room for the rest of the semester,” Remus said too casually. “Of course, I had to tell them what happened, but they were really supportive, so at least that was good.”

“I’m sorry. That really sucks.”

Remus shrugged. “It is what it is. But it’s your turn. What was your big queer awakening?”

“Alright, I’ll tell you, but you can’t tell Jamie that you know because I’m pretty sure he would kill me if he knew I told you.”

Remus’ face lit up, and he sat up a little straighter. “Oh, this has to be good.”

Sirius smiled widely. “It’s entertaining, to say the least. Alright, so Jamie and I, we’re fifteen at boarding school, and one weekend our third roommate, Peter, was visiting his family for a wedding or something, so we had the room to ourselves. So, we did what any, normal teenager at a boarding school would do,” Remus raised an eyebrow in question, “We bought some beer off an older student with a fake ID and got trashed.”

“Ah, yes, of course,” Remus teased. 

“And, well, I had been thinking I might like blokes for a while then, so I admitted that to Jamie. And Jamie surprises me by admitting that he was feeling a little curious about blokes, too. So…” Sirius trailed off.

Remus stared at him for a moment, waiting for him to continue. “So, in our drunken stupor, we decided that the only way to see if we were interested in blokes was to fool around a bit. And it wasn’t just like, one quick kiss either, because that would have been bad science.”

Remus clapped a jumper covered hand over his mouth, and his eyebrows shot up, so they were hidden in his curls, which made Sirius laugh. “Oh, my God.” 

“So, after about twenty minutes of heavy making out, we pull apart, and Jamie says to me, ‘you’re a fantastic kisser and all, but I think I’m going to stick with girls.’” Sirius paused as Remus let out a surprised laugh. “And I realized, that although I most definitely did not have any feelings for Jamie, I did enjoy kissing a bloke way more than I would if I were truly straight.”

“Oh, my God.”

“You can’t say anything. We swore never to talk about it again.”

“I won’t, but, oh, my God. This is literally the best information. Thank you for telling me this.”

Sirius smiled brightly, then looked at the movie window and realized that the credits were rolling. “Oh, looks like we missed the end.”

“That’s fine,” Remus said with a shrug. “I enjoy talking to you.”

“I like talking to you, too. And seeing your face. Now I finally know what the person I’ve been texting for a month looks like.”

“Yeah, this was nice,” Remus said quietly. 

“Would— would it be alright if I suggested doing this more?” Sirius said, suddenly nervous. 

“I’d like that.”

* * *

** REMUS **

**———**

**SIRIUS**

5/3/2020 - 7:32 PM

 **_Hey so I finished watching Riverdale which means  
_ ** **_that I can move onto Game of Thrones._ ** ****

**_Would you want to maybe watch it with me?_ **

_Oh, I don’t know. I’m still a little mad at the ending._

**_Oh yeah. That’s fine._ **

**_I just thought I’d offer._ **

_Sirius, I’m kidding. I’d like to watch it with you._

**_Oh. Ok then :)_ ** ****

**_You know you aren’t making me want to watch  
_ ** **_this show anymore by complaining about how bad  
_ ** **_the ending was :P_ **

_Or am I making you want to watch it more because  
_ _now you’re curious about what made it so bad?_

**_How is it that you know me so well already?_ **

_It’s a gift ;)_

**_Are you busy now?_ **

_Not at all._

5/6/2020 - 6:20 PM

 **_Alright... I’m still mourning the loss of Drogo but I  
_ ** **_need to see what happens next for Dany._ ** ****

**_Are you busy?_ **

_Nope :)_

5/10/2020 - 7:03 PM

_Busy?_

**_Never too busy for the Moon of my Life._ **

_You and you’re Dany obsession._

**_She has dragons, Remus._ ** ****

**_DRAGONS._ **

5/15/2020 - 7:13 PM

**_Ready to finish out season 3?_ **

5/16/2020 - 12:18 AM

 _Hey, you’re probably asleep, but I just wanted to  
_ _say sorry about earlier. I had a sudden burst of  
_ _creative energy to work on my book, and when I get  
_ _stuck in work mode, I forget about the outside  
_ _world a little._

**_It’s fine Re. I understand._ **

**_Your passion for your work is one of my favorite  
_ ** **_things about you._ **

_Raincheck for tomorrow night?_

**_So..._ ** ****

**_I may or may not have watched an episode  
_ ** **_without you._ **

_Oh, no. You watched the Red Wedding without me,  
_ _didn’t you?_

 **_I have almost no impulse control. You should  
_ ** **_know this by now._ ** ****

**_But yes. I did. And I’m DEVASTATED._ ** ****

**_I’m never watching without you again._ **

_Watching with me won’t prevent bad things from  
_ _happening, you know._

 **_Yes but you can console me when my heart is  
_ ** **_ripped out._ **

_Oh, well, I think I can manage that._

5/28/2020 - 10:30 AM

 **_SOS._ ** ****

**_I know you’re probably busy with copyediting  
_ ** **_stuff, but Andi is in the middle of an online law  
_ ** **_class right now so I thought I would try to help  
_ ** **_Dora with her online school work, but I’m entirely  
_ ** **_out of my depth here._ **

_I mean, I guess I can try to help. What is she  
_ _working on?_

**_Grammar. Hence why I need your help._ **

_Yeah, you have terrible grammar. I’ve been texting  
_ _you for two months, so I’d know._

 **_OI!_ ** ****

**_Who texts with perfect grammar anyway? Besides  
_ ** **_you that is. So can you help?_ **

_Sure. Do you want me to video call?_

**_Yes please! You’re a lifesaver._ **

—

Shaking his head, Remus pulled up Skype on his work laptop and started a video call with Sirius. Almost instantly, Sirius’ face filled the screen, looking immensely relieved. 

“Oh, thank God,” Sirius sighed. He tucked a strand of hair that had fallen out of his messy top knot behind his ear and smiled gratefully at Remus. 

“You look a little stressed there,” Remus said with a laugh. 

“They’ve changed maths. It’s maths, it’s not supposed to change! And sentence diagrams?” Sirius shook his head. “I’m out of my depth, Re.”

“I’ll see if I can help. Where’s the student?”

“Dora! I called in reinforcements!” Sirius called off-screen, and within seconds a small child with remarkably similar bone structure as Sirius and bright pink hair bounced into the frame and jumped into Sirius’ lap. “Oof!” Sirius groaned exaggeratedly, eliciting a giggle from the child. “Remus, this is Dora. Dora, this is my friend Remus. He’s much better at English things than I am, and he offered to help you with your sentence diagrams.”

“Hi!” Dora exclaimed, waving at the screen. “I like your name. It’s like that story Siri was telling me the other day.”

“Ah, enlightening her on some Roman mythology, were you Siri?” Remus asked playfully. “Thank you, Dora. I like your hair. I wish my parents had let me have bright pink hair when I was your age.”

“Mom only let me because we’re going to be stuck at home for the near future. It’ll have to go back to normal by the time I have to go to school in person,” she said sadly. 

“Well, I guess that’s one upside to being at home then,” Remus chirped. “I personally love that I get to wear my pajamas all day long.”

“Me, too!” she said. 

Remus looked at Sirius, who was smiling widely at him as he watched him and Dora interact. 

“Alright,” Sirius said, lifting Dora off his lap so he could get up. “I’ll let you two get to it. I sent some manuscripts to my tablet so I can read them, but I’ll be over here if you guys need me.” He shot a wink at the camera then pulled a chair up to sit in the background of the shot.

Remus smiled fondly at him then turned his attention back to Dora. “So, I hear you need help with some sentence diagrams?” Remus said before starting to walk Dora through the process of diagraming sentences and understanding the basics of grammar. About forty minutes went by, and Dora had started doing a set of practice problems on her own when Remus heard a voice off-camera.

“What’s going on here?” the voice asked. Remus heard a hint of an English accent, which meant that it was probably Sirius’ cousin, Andi. 

Sirius looked up from his tablet toward where the voice was coming from. “Oh, hey. Done with class?”

“Yea, is Dora working on her school work?”

Dora looked up from her work and looked off-camera. “Yup! Siri’s friend Remus is helping me with sentence diagrams!”

Suddenly, the off-camera voice switched into what sounded like French and spoke to Sirius, “Est-ce le garçon mignon du travail?”

“Tais-toi, Andi,” Sirius replied sharply. Sirius spoke French?

Suddenly, a woman in her early thirties with long black hair and the same bone structure as her daughter and Sirius popped onto the screen, just over Dora’s shoulder. “Hi, Remus! I’m Andi, Siri’s cousin. Thank you so much for helping Dora out.”

“It’s no problem!” Remus said quickly. “I couldn’t let Sirius steer Dora in the wrong direction. His grammar is positively awful.”

Andi let out a loud laugh, and Remus caught Sirius glaring at the two of them. “I like him,” Andi said to Sirius before popping back out of frame. 

“How many more sentences do you have left, Dora?” Remus asked.

“Seven,” she answered. 

Remus nodded. “Alright, you focus on those, and I’ll check them when you’re done.”

Dora nodded, and Remus tried to focus on clearing out his inbox of emails but found it difficult. In the background, he could hear Sirius and Andi conversing in rapid-fire French that he found utterly mesmerizing, even if he couldn’t understand it. As if Sirius wasn’t already impossibly sexy, he spoke one of the sexiest languages out there, too? It wasn’t fair.

“Quand vas-tu lui dire que tu l’aimes?” Andi asked in a hushed tone. 

“Je ne peux pas!” Sirius exclaimed, glancing back at Remus on the screen out of the corner of his eye. Remus quickly busied himself with something on his computer. 

“Pourquoi pas? Il est bi, non? Et vous parlez presque sans arrêt.”

“Juste parce qu’il aime les gars ne veut pas dire qu’il m’aime,” Sirius snapped. 

“Tu ne peux pas le savoir a moins d'y faire quelque chose,” Andi replied, sounding equally as exasperated.

“Oui, car cela se passerait si bien,” Sirius said sarcastically. “Je dirais ‘Salut, Remus, tu ne m’as donné aucune indication que tu m’aimes, mais tu veux aller à un rendez-vous? Oh, attend, nous sommes en plein confinement et nous pouvons pas quitter la maison, peu importe’” 

That got Remus’ attention. He definitely heard his own name, and, if he wasn’t mistaken, he also heard the word for ‘date.’ Or was it ‘meeting?’ Either way, why were they talking about him?

“Remus?” Dora’s voice snapped him back into the moment. 

“Sorry, Dora. Are you finished?” Remus said, shaking his head of his thoughts so he could focus on the task at hand. 

—

**SIRIUS**

5/28/2020 - 12:00 PM

 **_Thank you so much._ ** ****

**_You really are the best._ **

_It wasn’t a problem._

**_Dora adored you. I’m pretty sure she loves you  
_ ** **_more than she loves me now._ **

_Well, I am great. And Dora is adorable. Your cousin  
_ _Andi is nice, too. You both look a lot alike. Does  
_ _everyone in the Black family have the same  
_ _gorgeous bone structure, or is it just you guys?_

 **_We all look pretty similar. I’m pretty sure there  
_ ** **_was a lot of 4th cousin marrying going on._ ** ****

**_Are you calling me gorgeous, Remus?_ **

_As if you don’t already know what you look like,  
_ _Siri._

 **_Oh no. You aren’t going to start calling me that  
_ ** **_too are you?_ ** ****

**_Andi’s been calling me that since I was a toddler,  
_ ** **_and then of course Dora adopted it._ **

_I think it’s sweet._

**_Ughhh._ **

_:)_

_—_

**JAMES**

6/13/2020 - 6:58 PM

 **_Hey, are you able to hop on a group zoom call  
_ ** **_really quick?_ **

_I have plans in about half an hour, so it’ll have to be  
_ _quick._

 **_Sirius is gonna be on the call too._ ** ****

**_So don’t worry about that._ **

**NOTIFICATION: Gmail - Jpotts77@gmail.com - Zoom Invitation**

_How did you_

_Never mind dumb question. What’s up?_

**_Wedding stuff. Just hop on the call._ **

**_I sent you an email with the link._ **

**_—_ **

Remus minimized the Netflix window on his laptop and pulled up his email to click on the Zoom link James had sent him. Almost instantly, his screen is filled with Lily’s bright face.

“Rem!” Lily exclaims. “Oh, how I’ve missed your adorable face. Your hair has gotten so long!”

“Yeah, well, that’s what happens when I haven’t been able to get a haircut in five months,” he joked. “Yours is getting long, too.”

Lily ran a hand through her auburn hair, which now fell well past her shoulders instead of barely grazing the tops like it usually did. “Ugh, I know. I have no ideahow Marls deals with hair this long daily. Oh! Speaking of—”

Suddenly, the screen split as Marlene joined the call. “Hello, beautiful people!”

“Hey, Marls,” Remus said casually.

“‘Hey, Marls,’” she parroted back. “He hasn’t seen my beautiful face in well over a month, and all I get is a ‘Hey, Marls.’ Honestly,” she scoffed.

“Oh, my bad,” Remus said sarcastically. “Hello, oh wonderful, Marlene: the love of my life.”

“‘Love of my life?’” James repeated, his bespectacled face coming into the frame with Lily. “Someone is going to be jealous.”

“Why would someone be jealous?” Marlene asked. “Remus! Do you have a new beau?”

“No,” Remus said, a little too quickly. “I think he’s talking about your boyfriend, Mark. Remember him?”

“Oh, right,” she said with a shrug.

“So, what is this call about?” Remus said, wanting a change of subject. “Not that I’m not happy to see you guys.”

“Hang on,” James said. “Sirius is logging into the call now.”

“Oh, do I finally get to meet the dark and mysterious high school friend?” Marlene asked.

“Dark and mysterious?” Sirius asked as his face popped up onto the screen. “Sounds like an interesting guy.”

“Oh, and he has an accent,” Marlene cooed, leaning forward and tossing her long, blonde hair over her shoulders, and Remus had to fight not to roll his eyes. “Hi, I’m Marlene.” She gave a little wave at the screen.

“Nice to meet you, Marlene. I’ve heard a lot about you from Jamie and Remus,” Sirius said with a smile. “Also, hi, everyone.”

“Hey, Sirius!” Lily chirped. “Now we can share the news. James, do you want to tell them?”

James wrapped his arm around Lily’s shoulder and pressed a kiss to her temple. “No, you tell them, sweetheart. You’re clearly excited about it.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, looking up at him fondly.

“Jesus Christ, someone tell us something,” Marlene demanded.

“Ok, ok,” Lily said with a laugh. “James and I have decided that we’re still getting married on the twentieth.”

“We don’t want to wait until next year. We talked it over with our parents, and they were super supportive,” James continued.

“Oh, I’m so glad!” Marlene exclaimed. “What about the reception?”

“That’s still happening next year. Don’t worry, all of your planning isn’t going to waste,” Lily assured her.

“Oh, thank God.”

“So, where are you having it?” Sirius asked.

“Well, now that the parks are open again, we were thinking of having it outside,” James said. That way, our parents can be there, and Sirius and Marlene, you guys, too, if you’re comfortable with it.”

“Well, there’s no way I’m missing my best mate’s wedding,” Sirius said.

“Ditto,” Marlene added. “But wait, Remus was supposed to officiate.”

“I still can,” Remus chimed in.

“But, Rem, it’s still too dangerous out there.”

“Yeah, Remus, we don’t want you to get sick,” James added.

“What, so you don’t want me there?” Remus challenged.

“Of course, we want you to be there!” Lily said. “And we still want you to officiate. I was talking with James, and we thought that maybe we could FaceTime you in and—”

“I’m not Bubble Boy, I can go outside. As long as everyone is wearing a mask and stays six feet apart, I’ll be fine,” Remus argued.

“I know you aren’t Bubble Boy, Remus, but you’re still high risk.”

“I get that!” Remus said, his voice getting louder. “You act as if I don’t know that I’m sick, Lily. If anyone fucking knows that, it’s me!”

“Rem—”

“No! Look, I know that you care about me, and you want to protect me, but you don’t understand what this has been like for me. You guys talk about being stir crazy, but at least you get to leave to go to the grocery store or go on walks. I haven’t set foot outside in four months! I need to get out of this fucking apartment, or I’m going to lose my shit.”

Everyone was silent after his outburst until Sirius broke the silence. “I think it should be up to Remus. I mean, yeah, he’s high-risk, but he’s also an adult. He can make his own decisions, and he’s right. It would be outside, and it would only be us, Effie and Monty, and Lily’s parents. It should be fine. We’ve all been careful.”

Remus relaxed into his pillows and looked gratefully at Sirius. “Thank you, Sirius,” he said quietly.

Sirius sent a soft smile at the camera that Remus somehow knew was only for him.

James sighed and looked at Lily. “It wouldn’t feel right not having Remus there in person,” he said gently.

“No, it wouldn’t. Alright,” Lily sighed, “but we’re meeting in the park by your apartment, Remus, so you don’t have to go too far.”

Remus nodded in agreement, and they spent the next fifteen minutes, making plans. When they were done, Remus left the call and instantly grabbed his phone to text Sirius.

—

**SIRIUS**

6/13/2020 - 7:30 PM

_Hey. Thank you for agreeing with me back there._

**_It’s nothing._ **

_It’s not nothing. I know they mean well, but  
_ _sometimes everyone gets so caught up with the  
_ _fact that I’m sick that they treat me like I’m made  
_ _of glass, so it means a lot that you didn’t do that._

 **_Like I said, you’re an adult and they weren’t  
_ ** **_treating you like you were capable of making a  
_ ** **_decision for yourself._ **

_Still, you could have kept silent, but you didn’t, so  
_ _thank you._

 **_Of course. I’ve got your back, Re._ ** ****

**_You’re my friend and I care about you. Sure, it’s a  
_ ** **_risk, but if anyone should be assessing that, it’s  
_ ** **_you._ **

_I appreciate that. I really do. Also, I care about you,  
_ _too._

**_:)_ **

* * *

** SIRIUS **

**———**

**JAMES**

6/19/2020 - 10:43 PM

_So mate, tomorrow is the big day._

_Are you nervous?_

**_Actually, not at all. I think it’s because I know  
_ ** **_tomorrow is going to be so casual._ ** ****

**_Like, we don’t have to worry about anyone getting  
_ ** **_too drunk and making a scene, or the caterer not  
_ ** **_showing up on time._ ** ****

**_Tomorrow is literally just about Lily and me._ **

_So no cold feet then?_

**_None. I’ve been waiting for this day since our first  
_ ** **_date._ **

_Oi, you’re such a sap._

_But I’m really happy for you._

_Also you’re making this whole best man thing really  
_ _easy._

 _I literally had two jobs: talk you down from getting  
_ _cold feet and throwing the bachelor party._

 _First one I clearly don’t need to do, and the second  
_ _one... Well I’m still doing that eventually._

 _I don’t care if you’re not technically a bachelor  
_ _anymore. You’re getting a stag night dammit._

 **_I would be offended if I didn’t, seeing as I know  
_ ** **_Marlene still intends on throwing Lily a  
_ ** **_bachelorette party._ **

_Yours will be better._

**_You sure about that? I think I heard them mention  
_ ** **_Vegas._ **

_Oh man._

_That does sound fun..._

_I’ll come up with something. I’ve got another whole  
_ _year to plan ;)_

 **_Oh dear..._ ** ****

**_So, are YOU nervous about tomorrow?_ **

_Why would I be nervous?_

**_You’re going to be seeing Remus in person for the  
_ ** **_first time._ **

_Ugh. Can we not?_

_Yes. I’m nervous._

_But I don’t want to talk about it._

_Tomorrow is about you, not about me and my crush  
_ _on literally the cutest boy on the planet._

**_Have you told him yet?_ **

_NOT. TALKING. ABOUT. IT._

_Go spend time with your soon to be wife._

**_Can’t. She banished me to the spare room so I  
_ ** **_won’t see her until she’s all ready and dressed up._ ** ****

**_We’re even arriving separately tomorrow._ **

_Then get some sleep. It’s a big day tomorrow. Can’t  
_ _have you looking all puffy and sleep-deprived in  
_ _pictures._

 **_Oh, speaking of, can you bring your camera? It’s  
_ ** **_better than anyone else’s._ **

_I was already planning on it._

_I’m not the best photographer in the world, but  
_ _what I lack in talent I make up for in sheer volume._

 **_Thank you._ ** ****

**_So you’re not going to give me even the littlest  
_ ** **_detail about how things are going?_ **

_There’s nothing to tell because I haven’t said  
_ _anything to him yet._

**_Yet? So you’re going to then?_ **

_Go to sleep!_

**_Ugh, fine. Goodnight._ **

_Goodnight :)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **French Translations:**  
>   
>  **Est-ce le garçon mignon du travail?** \- Is that the cute boy from work?  
>  **Tais-toi, Andi.** \- Shut up, Andi  
>  **Quand vas-tu lui dire que tu l’aimes?** \- When are you going to tell him you like him?  
>  **Je ne peux pas!** \- I can’t!  
>  **Pourquoi pas? Il est bi, non? Et vous parlez presque sans arrêt.** \- Why not? He’s bi, right? And you talk almost nonstop.  
>  **Juste parce qu’il aime les gars ne veut pas dire qu’il m’aime.** \- Just because he likes guys doesn’t mean he likes me.  
>  **tu ne peux pas le savoir a moins d'y faire quelque chose.** \- You don’t know that unless you do something about it.  
>  **Oui, car cela se passerait si bien. Je dirais ‘Salut, Remus, tu ne m’as donné aucune indication que tu m’aimes, mais tu veux aller à un rendez-vous? Oh, attend, nous sommes en plein confinement et nous pouvons pas quitter la maison, peu importe.’** \- Yes, because that would go over so well, I’ll say ‘ Hi, Remus, you have given me no indication that you like me, but do you want to go on a date? Oh, wait, we’re in the middle of a quarantine and can’t leave the house, never mind.’  
> 


	5. Chapter 5

** SIRIUS **

**———**

Sirius parked the car across the street from the park in front of an apartment building that he assumed was probably Remus’ and let out a sigh. He was happy that Lily and James were still able to get married, despite everything, but he wished that things were different. They deserved a big celebration, not a small, socially distanced ceremony in a park in the middle of a pandemic. It didn’t feel right. James’ wedding day was supposed to be a big affair, with drinking and dancing. It was selfish, and he knew it, but he’d looked forward to learning what James’ life had been like for the past seven years. He wanted to make up for all of that lost time that he’d been floating around Europe like he was in limbo. He’d looked forward to meeting all of James’ new friends and maybe even meeting someone to take home that night.

Someone cute. Someone with sparkling green eyes, freckles dusted across his nose, and a smile that could make him weak in the knees. Someone like Remus, who he’d finally be seeing in person for the first time. He had no right to be nervous, it wasn’t like he was the one getting married after all, but he was. What if the chemistry he’d picked up on in video chats was suddenly not there anymore? Or, worse, what if he had been imagining it, and Remus didn’t feel anything toward him besides friendship?

Sirius checked his reflection in the rearview mirror and ran a hand through his hair nervously before taking his mask and looping the elastic around his ears. He stared ahead for a moment longer, fiddling with the rolled-up sleeves of his oxford shirt, then he took a deep breath to steel his nerves, grabbed the strap of his DSLR, and opened the car door.

The park wasn’t huge, so it didn’t take him very long to find the giant oak tree that Marlene had suggested would make the best backdrop for photos. When he got there, he found Marlene, or at least who he assumed was Marlene, already there attempting to string up some paper lanterns in the tree. He’d only seen her once on the video call a few days prior, but her long blonde hair was pretty recognizable.

“Do you need help with that?” Sirius asked as he approached.

“Oh! Jesus, you startled me. It’s nice to meet you in person, Sirius. I’m Marlene. You are Sirius, right?” Marlene set down the lantern she was fighting with and brushed her hands off on her red maxi-dress. “It’s hard to recognize people with these masks. I guess that’s how superheroes keep their identity safe, though, huh?”

Sirius laughed. “Although, normally they cover the eyes instead of their mouth. But yeah, I’m Sirius. It’s nice to meet you.” He instinctively went to reach a hand out to shake hers, but caught himself and settled on a wave.

“I keep doing that, too,” she said with a laugh. “But, to answer your question, yes, I could use help. I forgot to bring a step-ladder, but you look tall. What are you like 6’2”?”

“Yeah, actually. Good guess,” he said, setting his camera down by a mini speaker in the grass.

“I’ve dated enough tall guys to get pretty good at guessing heights.” She laughed lightly and tossed her hair over her shoulder before stepping back to let Sirius get to work stringing the lanterns in the tree branches.

“So, what time is everyone else getting here?” he asked.

“James and his parents should be getting here in a few minutes, Lily sometime about ten minutes after that with her parents so she can make an entrance, and—” she pulled her phone out of a pocket in her dress and checked it— “Remus just texted that he’s heading down now.”

Sirius’ hands stilled for a moment on the knot he was tying to secure the last lantern. “Oh, cool,” he said, trying to sound as casual as possible. Just as he said it, he heard a shout from across the park.

“Hey! Sirius!”

Sirius smiled, tightened the last knot, and turned to James strolling confidently toward him, Effie and Monty Potter following shortly afterward. Sirius went to meet him halfway, and nearly pulled him into a crushing hug on instinct, but stopped himself. The two of them stood awkwardly at a distance from each other. “Hey, Jamie. Looking snazzy.”

James looked down at the casual linen suit he was wearing, then looked back up and shrugged.

Sirius smiled then looked to James’ parents. “Hi, Effie. Monty.”

“Oh, my sweet boy!” Effie cried, gripping her husband’s arm as if to prevent herself from hurrying forward to sweep him into a big hug. “You’ve grown up so much since I last saw you! Look how long your hair has gotten.”

“I know it’s been a long time. Sorry, I haven’t been back to visit in so long,” Sirius said sheepishly.

“Oh, don’t let my wife guilt trip you, son,” Monty said with a laugh. “You were experiencing culture! I want to hear all about your—”

“Oh, wait, I think I see Remus,” James said, bringing a hand up to block the sun so he could squint into the distance.

Sirius felt his heart rate pick up slightly the moment he saw Remus. From a distance, Remus sent their group a wave. James waved back enthusiastically before turning back to look at Sirius, not that he really noticed. Sirius was too busy watching Remus walk towards him— them. Remus was a little taller than Sirius had imagined him to be, although still probably shorter than he was. His corduroy pants hugged his legs and were cuffed at the ankles, and, for once, he wasn’t wearing some oversized jumper and instead had put on a nicely fitted dark green collared shirt. The sunlight brought out the gold in his hair and eyes and made the freckles even more noticeable across his nose. It was probably a very good thing that Sirius was wearing a mask because he was pretty sure his mouth had dropped open slightly. Holy hell. Sirius thought he was gorgeous on a video call, but it didn’t compare to seeing him in person. 

Suddenly, faint acoustic instrumental music started playing out of the tiny speaker, making Sirius jump. Sirius blinked for a moment to bring himself back to the real world and looked back toward the tree to see Marlene straightening up, a bouquet of flowers in her hand.

“Hey, everyone,” Remus said as he reached the group, stopping a good ten feet away from them.

“Hey, Re,” Sirius said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his black skinny jeans. If he thought not getting to hug James, Effie, and Monty was hard, being ten feet away from Remus without being able to touch him was downright torture.

“Hey, Siri,” Remus said, sending him what must have been a smile based on the way those sparkling green eyes of his crinkled slightly. It was probably good that Remus was wearing a mask, too, because he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stand actually seeing Remus’ smile. “I ran into Lily on my way out of my building,” Remus said, turning his attention to James. “So, we’ve probably got about ten more minutes to set up.”

“Thanks, Remus,” James said.

“I’ll go make sure Lily is ready,” Marlene said from behind Sirius. “Sirius, I saw you brought a camera, do you want to get a few photos of James and his parents before we get started?”

He needed to focus. His best mate was about to get married. “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

James walked with Sirius to grab his camera, giving Remus a moment to chat with Effie and Monty.

“So, still doing alright there, Jamie?” Sirius asked as he started fussing with the settings of his camera. In the distance, he heard Remus laugh at some joke Monty was telling, and he couldn’t help but look over for a split second. He snapped a quick test shot of the moment and checked that the exposure was right before he shook his head and forced himself to look back to James.

“I couldn’t be happier,” James gushed.

“I’m beyond happy for you, mate. Lily is a good one. Honestly, the best,” Sirius said earnestly. “Even if she is taking you away from me,” he added with a wink.

“Yeah, right. I’m pretty sure Lily knows that you’re part of the package that comes with marrying me,” James said with a laugh.

“Like I said, the best. Now come on, let’s get some pictures before you get hitched.”

Five minutes later and a few dozen socially distanced family photos later, everyone was in place under the oak tree, waiting for Lily to make her entrance. Sirius stood next to James poised with his camera, ready to fire away. He caught a glimpse of Marlene’s hair and knew Lily wasn’t far behind, so he faced James, ready to capture that first look.

James’ face lit up, which was easy to see even with the mask on. Sirius turned and fired off a few more shots as Lily walked toward them, escorted by both of her parents. She looked absolutely stunning, her flaming red hair a stark contrast to the white lace sundress she was wearing. Marlene took her bouquet from her as she reached James, who instantly pulled her in for a hug.

“You look beautiful,” James whispered, resting his forehead against Lily’s.

Lily let out a watery giggle. “And you look very handsome. Although, your glasses are fogging up just a bit.”

“Stupid mask,” James said, and everyone laughed.

Lily and James stepped apart and held each other’s hands, then Remus cleared his throat so he could begin. “Friends and family, we are gathered here today to join together James and Lily in the ultimate bonds of marriage. I’ve known Lily and James for a long time, and it is an honor that I get to marry you both today.”

“Couldn’t have imagined anyone else doing it,” James said.

Remus looked from James to Lily, sending her a fond look before continuing. “Lily, from that first day of orientation at UCLA seven years ago, you’ve treated me like family. You are so kind and so strong, I am constantly in awe of you. And James, you are the fiercest friend I have ever had. You care so deeply, and I really don’t know what I would do without you. I love you both so much, and it has been one of the greatest pleasures in my life watching my two best friends go from bickering hall mates to one of the best couples I know. You both are so different and headstrong, but I honestly think that’s why you both work so well. Despite your differences, you make things work. Not because you need each other, but because you chose each other, and I think that’s even more of a testament to the love you have for each other than anything else, like fate or destiny, could be.”

Lily sniffed loudly as a few tears started to roll down her cheeks, disappearing beneath her mask.

“Now, Lily and James have prepared their own vows. James?”

James reached a hand up to tuck a strand of Lily’s hair behind her ear. “Lily, I could list all of the reasons that I love you, but then we’d probably be here all day, and I’m pretty sure Remus would kill me, so I’ll keep it short. You are the best person that I have ever met, and every moment that I spend with you makes me a better person, too. You are my best friend—” he turned to look at Sirius— “Sorry, Sirius—”

Everyone laughed.

“No problem, mate,” Sirius said as James turned back to Lily.

“You are my best friend, and I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone but you.”

Lily sniffed again. “Ok, I guess it’s my turn. James—” she let out a shuddering breath, and James stepped closer and placed a comforting hand on her waist— “No, I can do this. Ok— James, back in April when we had to decide to postpone our wedding, it had to have been one of the most disappointing moments of my life, because for so long I have been looking for someone like you to spend forever with. But then, you looked at me and said, ‘To hell with the big ceremony, all that matters to me is that I get to call you my wife,’ and that reminded me of why I wanted to marry you in the first place. You were there for me like you always are, and you were right. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter to me where we are, as long as I get to call you my husband.”

Sirius watched a tear escaped the corner of James’ eye, which threatened to bring forth the tears welling up in his own eyes. He blinked rapidly and focused on continuing to take photos.

“Dammit guys, you’re going to make me cry,” Remus said, laughing thickly.

“Remus, could you maybe refrain from cursing in the middle of my wedding,” Lily scolded gently.

“Shit, sorry. Ugh, fu—” Remus stopped himself. “Sorry, sorry!” Everyone laughed. “I’ll get that under control for the one next year. Ok. Lily, do you take James to be your husband?”

“I do.”

“And James, you take Lily to be your wife.”

“You bet I do.”

Remus looked between them both, beaming. “Alright. So, by the power vested in me by the online certification I took while I was bored during jury duty, I now pronounce you, husband and wife. James, you may practice very poor social distancing and kiss your wife.”

* * *

** REMUS **

**———**

**MARLENE**

6/20/2020 - 5:03 PM

**_Ok, I have two things._ **

_Yes?_

**_One: beautiful speech. If I ever get married, I want  
_ ** **_you to officiate._ **

_Great. That can be my thing now._

**_Two: WHAT WAS THAT VIBE BETWEEN YOU AND  
_ ** **_TALL, DARK, AND BRITISH?_ **

_I have no idea what you’re talking about._

**_Don’t play coy with me, bitch. There was a vibe._ ** ****

**_I thought I picked something up in that Zoom call  
_ ** **_the other day, so today I thought I’d test it by  
_ ** **_flirting my ass off to get a reaction, you know, as I  
_ ** **_do, and he was not paying me any mind._ **

_So, because he wasn’t flirting with you, you  
_ _automatically assume something going on between  
_ _us? That’s a bit of a leap, Marls._

**_No, I assumed something was going on between  
_ ** **_you because you turned into a blushy mess when  
_ ** **_you saw him._ **

_I was wearing a mask. How could you tell whether I  
_ _was blushing or not?_

**_Because I know you Rem._ ** ****

**_I also know what I saw, and trust me when I tell  
_ ** **_you that Sirius definitely likes you._ **

_Do you really think so?_

**_He froze like a deer in the headlights when he saw  
_ ** **_you, and his voice got all soft when he spoke to  
_ ** **_you._ **

**_So yeah, I’m pretty sure he likes you too._ ** ****

—

Remus shut his book and let out a frustrated groan. He couldn’t focus. Ever since Marlene had texted him earlier, the only thing he could think about was what she said about Sirius. It was one thing for him to believe that there had been a moment between them in the park, but it was another thing entirely if Marlene noticed it. It meant that he wasn’t making it up. And if he hadn’t been imagining the energy between them at the wedding, maybe he hadn’t been imagining the same energy during all of their video calls and text exchanges. 

There was definitely something there, but that didn’t necessarily mean that Sirius wanted to pursue it. Sirius had never given him any indication that he wanted anything more than friendship, at least not directly. But then Mary’s voice rang through his head. _You don’t know that unless you do something about it._

Remus let out another frustrated groan and grabbed his phone off the nightstand, checking the time. It was nearly ten-thirty, so not too late, but definitely later than he’d ever called before. He sucked in a deep breath. No, he couldn’t chicken out. He quickly navigated to his favorite contacts to find Sirius’ name, and, before he could talk himself out of it, he tapped the call icon. He curled his knees into his chest as the phone rang. 

It felt like forever before Sirius finally picked up. “Remus?” Sirius asked, his voice sounding thick with sleep. 

Fuck, Remus had woken him up. Shit. 

“Re, is everything alright?” 

“Shit. Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up. I just— fuck— I can just talk to you tomorrow—” 

“No, it’s ok, you didn’t— Well, you did wake me up, but I fell asleep reading. My lights are still on and everything, so I would have had to get up eventually,” Sirius explained quickly. “Is everything alright? You sound...” 

“No, everything is fine,” Remus said softly, closing his eyes to collect himself. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to call you out of the blue so late. I just figured— Well, I didn’t know when you would be getting back from spending time with the Potters, and I know that you haven’t seen them in a while, so I didn’t text you earlier because I wanted to let you— Never mind. It’s not important. I can let you get back to sleep.” 

“Re... I don’t mind if you call me out of the blue, no matter what time it is,” Sirius said gently. “I like talking to you.” 

“I like talking to you, too, Sirius.” He bit his lip as they both fell silent. He could do this. Maybe. “It was nice seeing everyone today,” he said, breaking the silence. 

“It really was. I bet it was nice for you to get out of the apartment, too.” 

Remus laughed nervously. “Yeah, it was. Although I’m pretty sure I got a sunburn.” 

Sirius laughed. “You weren’t even outside that long!” 

“Yeah, well, not everyone tans as easily as you do,” he teased, and Sirius laughed again. “It was also nice seeing you. In-person, I mean.” 

Sirius was silent for a moment, and when he spoke again, his voice came out soft and unsure, as if he were nervous. “It was nice. Really nice. Harder than I expected, though.” 

“What—?” 

“Sorry, that didn’t come out right,” Sirius said quickly. “Ressaisi toi, Sirius,” he muttered to himself before continuing. “It’s just— I expected it to be hard seeing James, and Lily, and Monty, and Effie, and not be able to hug them or anything, but seeing you…merde.” 

“Sirius…” Remus started, but Sirius continued speaking rapidly, almost to the point of Remus not being able to understand him. 

“I didn’t think that the first time I got to meet you in person would be from six feet away with masks. I pictured it being when all of this mess was over, and everything was back to normal. And part of me wishes that I could pretend that today didn’t count because I’d built it up in my head so much and—” 

“Sirius,” Remus said, more firmly this time. “I—” 

“Sorry, I know I’m rambling, it’s just—” 

“I like you,” Remus blurted out, unable to stop himself. He heard Sirius’ sharp intake of breath and clapped a hand over his mouth, even though he knew it wouldn’t take the words back. 

“I’m— wait, what?” 

Remus took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to blurt it out like that, but— fuck, there it is. I like you, Sirius, as more than just a friend.” 

The silence that greeted him was deafening, and Remus was nearly about to hang up the phone in embarrassment when Sirius let out a breathy laugh. “Oh, merci, mon Dieu.” 

Remus let out the breath he’d been holding in a rush. “What?” 

“Re, I like you, too. I like you a lot.” 

“Really?” 

“I mean, yeah. I have for a while now, since that second phone call, really. It’s why I kept sending you all of those random quotes. I just wanted an excuse to talk to you.” 

Remus laughed in relief. “Fuck, thank God. Wait, you mean that phone call when I burned my hand and lectured at you about literature for twenty minutes?” 

Sirius let out a strangled groan that sounded like it was being muffled by his pillow. “It was the most you’d ever said to me, and it was just cute, ok?” 

Remus blushed and hugged his knees tighter to his chest. 

“Jamie teased me mercilessly about it, too,” Sirius said with a laugh. “He couldn’t believe that I’d fallen into the Remus Literary Trap.” 

“I’m sorry, the what, now?” 

“Shit, I don’t think I was supposed to tell you about that. Apparently, it was something Jamie, Marlene, and Lily came up with in college. Forget I said anything.” 

“Oh, I will definitely be asking them about that later,” Remus promised, and Sirius laughed. 

“But, yeah. So, I’ve liked you for months, even though you were kind of a jerk at first.” 

“Hey, I said I was sorry about that,” Remus protested. “And I quickly changed my mind about you once I got to know you better.” 

“I know, I’m just teasing you, Re,” Sirius said lightly. “Can we— can I FaceTime you? I know I saw you already today, but I want to see you again.” 

Remus swallowed hard. “Yeah, ok. I mean, yeah, I want to see you, too.” He heard the call disconnecting sound, only to be quickly replaced by a ringing sound as Sirius started a FaceTime call. Remus hugged his knees and rested his chin on them as he positioned the camera to answer the call. “Hi,” he said, sending a shy smile at the camera. 

“Merde, tu es si mignon,” Sirius murmured into the pillow that he was hugging to his chest. 

“Sirius, you know I can’t understand you,” Remus groaned. “Also, it’s tough to think straight when you speak French. As if you weren’t sexy enough, you have to be fluent in another fucking language?” 

“Yeah, well, I can’t think straight when you’re sitting there in that adorable jumper, biting your lip like you are, and cursing like a freaking sailor,” Sirius fired back. “So, there’s that.” 

Remus groaned again and buried his face in his knees. “I hate this. I really fucking hate this. You know, I nearly said screw it today when I saw you.” He looked up again. “It took every bit of restraint I had not to just walk right up to you and— fuck, I don’t even know, hug you, I guess?” 

“God, I know.” 

“I just hate this. I hate being sick. As if it’s not bad enough that my joints are shit to the point that sometimes I need a cane to walk just to get the fucking mail, and I lose feeling in my hands when it gets too cold, but now— My body feels like a prison half the time, and now, because of it, my apartment’s a prison, too,” Remus vented. 

“I can’t even imagine how hard this is for you.” 

“And at first it was fine, well, not fine, but I didn’t mind it so much. I’m kind of a homebody anyway, but— Dammit, I want to see you. Like actually, see you. But I can’t leave my apartment without worrying about getting the damn Corona Virus.” Remus sighed and buried his face in his knees again. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be such a mess.” 

“What if I came to you?” Sirius asked tentatively. 

Remus lifted his head. 

“I’ve been doing a lot of reading on risk mitigation and incubation periods, and other than today, I’ve been good about staying home. Well, I go out for runs, but I go really early in the morning, so I don’t encounter anyone. So I could get tested, and when the test comes back negative, I could come over.” 

Remus opened his mouth to say something, but Sirius cut him off. 

“I wouldn’t even have to come in. I’d honestly be content with just sitting in your hallway and talking to you through a crack in your door but—” 

“If you think that the next time you’re within ten feet of me, I’m not touching you, you’re crazy,” Remus interrupted. “But I don’t know if I can ask you to go through the trouble of getting a test just to see me.” 

“You aren’t asking,” Sirius said matter-of-factly. “It was my idea.” 

“I know, it’s just that we have no idea how long this situation will last—” 

“So we keep doing the same thing until it’s safe—” 

“But what if it’s months? I don’t want you to change your life because of me—” 

“I would be continuing to social distance despite the city lifting the order because it’s the smart thing to do, not only because it would be safer for you.” Sirius took a deep breath, then softened. “If you ultimately don’t want to take the risk because you think it’s not safe yet, I understand that. But please don’t say no just because you don’t want me going through the trouble. Me wanting to take these precautions so I can see you has just as much to do with me as it does you. I really want to see you.” 

Remus took a deep breath and let it out shakily. “Ok.” 

“‘Ok’ as in, we’re doing this?” Sirius asked hopefully. 

He tucked his chin on his knees and nodded. “Shit. Yes. I really want to see you, too.” 

Sirius grinned, and Remus couldn’t help but blush. “Si mignon,” he breathed. “I’ll make an appointment to get tested in a few days.” 

“Ok.” He smiled. “How fast is the turn around for the results?” 

“Last time, it took about a week, but they’re getting faster, so I’m not sure.” 

“So probably not in time for next weekend,” Remus said with a small sigh. 

“No, but we have the third off, right?” Sirius asked. 

Remus smiled again. “Yeah, we do.” 

“So, July third, then?” 

Remus nodded. “It’s a date.” 

* * *

** SIRIUS **

**———**

Sirius settled back onto his pillows and pulled out his phone. A week and a half ago, he would have been coming up with some sort of lame excuse to call, but he didn’t have to do that anymore. He could say that he simply wanted to see Remus’ face. It was nice, although a bit surreal. He’d never had so much of a relationship be virtual before. With a smile, he pulled up Remus’ contact from his favorites and started a video call. 

It didn’t take long for Remus to answer. “Hi,” Remus said, smiling as he threw a dish towel over his shoulder. 

“Hey. Did I catch you at a bad time?” Sirius asked. 

“It’s alright. I was just finishing cleaning up after dinner. I can still talk if you don’t mind me multi-tasking.” 

“Not at all.” 

“Alright, I might need to put you down, though, so have fun looking at my ceiling.” Remus set his phone back down on the counter and continued to tidy up the kitchen. 

“It’s the most beautiful ceiling I’ve ever seen, and I’ve been to the Sistine Chapel,” Sirius teased. 

“Alright, smartass.” Remus leaned over the phone as he reached up into the cabinet to return some spices. For probably the first time, Remus’ jumper sleeves weren’t pulled over his hands. Instead, they were rolled up just above his elbows, giving Sirius a full view of his bare forearms, arguably one of the sexier parts of a man. 

“Re, is that a tattoo?” Sirius choked as he pulled a pillow into his lap to hug. He needed something to anchor him, something to prevent him from combusting at the sight of the watercolor wolf howling at a full moon taking up the majority of the inside of Remus’ left forearm. 

“What? Oh, yeah,” Remus said shyly before starting to pull the sleeves of his jumper back over his arms. 

“No! Wait!” Sirius exclaimed. “Don’t cover it. I wanna see it better.” 

Remus picked the phone back up and carried it with him out of the kitchen. “Oh, ok. Sure, gimme a sec, I’m climbing into bed.” 

“Bed? Re, it’s like six-thirty,” Sirius teased. 

“My joints hurt, thank you very much,” Remus fired back playfully. “Besides, you’re literally in bed right now. I can see your headboard.” 

“Feisty. Did you do something to cause a flare-up, or did it just happen?” 

“It’s been happening a lot more recently since I haven’t been getting out to go on walks and stuff, which usually helps,” Remus explained as he carefully climbed into his bed and under the covers and pulled a pillow into his lap. “But I was cleaning my apartment all day, so it’s probably because of that.” 

“What sparked the sudden cleaning spree?” 

“Well, I’m kind of expecting company for the first time in nearly five months, and I want to make a good impression,” he teased. 

“Oh!” Sirius exclaimed. “Speaking of, I got my results back today.” 

Remus bit his lip, “And?” 

“Corona free, so we’re good for Friday,” he beamed. 

Remus’ face split into a wide grin. 

“Alright, now that you’re settled, show me that ink.” Sirius waggled his eyebrows, making Remus laugh. 

“I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal out of it,” Remus said before bringing his arm more into the frame for Sirius to see. 

“Because it’s bloody hot,” Sirius blurted out. 

A faint tinge of pink flushed to Remus’ cheeks. “Yeah, says the man that’s literally covered in them.” Remus pulled the sleeves of his jumper back down and focused the camera more on his face. 

“So, what does it mean?” Sirius asked. Remus raised an eyebrow in question, so Sirius continued. “Well, all of my tattoos have some sort of meaning or at least a story behind them. So, why the wolf?” 

“Oh, well, it’s a little personal. Not that I don’t want to tell you, just— it’s not exactly a happy story,” Remus said softly. 

“That’s ok. Not all of mine are happy, either.” 

“So, I told you about how my mother was a professor of Roman mythology, right?” Sirius nodded for him to continue. “Well, when I was eighteen, she got really sick. It was just before I was supposed to go off to UCLA, and I almost deferred for a year to stay with her, but she insisted that I still go.” 

“That had to be tough,” Sirius said softly. 

“It was. Especially since she went downhill so quickly. By the time I went back home for spring break, she was already in hospice. I’d barely gotten a chance to say goodbye before—” Remus’ voice dropped suddenly. He pulled his knees into his chest and closed his eyes as if trying to prevent tears from forming. 

“Oh, Re…” Sirius whispered. 

“It’s fine. It’s been a long time, I just hardly ever talk about it. I can talk about her no problem, but remembering her lying there in the hospital bed…” He shook his head. “Anyway, I got the wolf for her. I wanted to honor her in some way.” 

“I know how you feel. I did the same thing for my brother.” 

“I didn’t know you had a brother,” Remus whispered. 

“Yeah. Regulus. He was a year and a half younger than me. We got along really well when we were little, but the more rebellious I became, the more he had to take on the family responsibility. I think he always kind of resented me for it. He died three years ago.” 

“What happened?” Remus asked tentatively. 

“I’m not sure,” Sirius said, looking down at the pillow in his lap. “No one really ever gave me a straight answer. The official story was that there was an accident and he drowned. But there were also rumors that alcohol and drugs had been involved, which didn’t really sound like him. Although, I didn’t really know him very well for the last few years, and he had gotten mixed in with a bad crowd, so who really knows.” 

“If you don’t think that it sounds like him, then I believe you. You seem to be a good judge of character,” Remus said gently. 

Sirius smiled sadly. “Thanks. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he could be an absolute prick, just like our parents, but he also…” Sirius let out a long sigh. “He knew I was bi. I was seeing this guy for a while while I was at Trinity, and Reg found out about it. He was the only one who knew besides friends, and while he wasn’t the most enthusiastic supporter of it, he never told our family.” 

“That’s something,” Remus offered. 

“Yeah. Although, I don’t really know how long he would have kept it a secret since he died a few months later, just before I graduated from Trinity. That’s why I skipped town and bounced around Europe for so long. I was trying to process the whole thing.” 

“Oh, wow. Sirius, I had no idea…” 

“It’s alright, Re. But anyway,” Sirius swept his hair away from the left side of his neck and positioned his phone so Remus could see the small tattoo clustered there, “I got this for him. It’s the constellations for both of our names. Our family kind of has a thing for space names. We always made fun of it, so I thought it would be funny to honor him in that way.” 

“It’s beautiful,” Remus whispered. 

Sirius smiled shyly, and let his hair cover the ink again. They were silent for a while until Remus broke it with a yawn. Sirius tilts his head. “Tired, mon chou?” 

“Only a little.” Remus said, stifling another yawn. “Monchou?” 

Sirius smiled at the slightly butchered French pronunciation. “Close. _Mon chou_ ,” he repeated, enunciating each word more carefully. 

“Mon chou?” he tried again, and Sirius nodded. “What does it mean?” 

“It’s just a term of endearment. It doesn’t really have an exact translation to an English equivalent,” he explained. 

Remus smiled, then yawned again. “I’m so sorry.” 

Sirius laughed. “It’s fine. If you want to go to sleep, like the grandpa that you are, you should,” Sirius teased. 

“You do realize that you’re a few months older than me, right?” Remus retorted. 

“I’m not the one falling asleep at— Jesus, Remus, it’s not even seven-thirty,” he said with another laugh. 

Remus grumbled and sank further down into the covers. “I would come up with some sort of sarcastic remark, but I’ll just let you think of one yourself.” 

Sirius smiled fondly. “Get some sleep. I’ll call you tomorrow, and I’ll see you in a few days.” 

He smiled sleepily. “I’m really looking forward to it.” 

“Me, too. Bonne nuit, mon chou,” Sirius said softly. 

“Good night, Siri.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My amazing beta reader and best friend drew art of the last scene! Check it out [here](https://hellcatdraws.tumblr.com/post/627727624465252352/of-queries-and-quarantines-chapter-5).  
>   
>  **French Translations:**  
>   
>  **Ressaisi toi, Sirius.** \- Get it together, Sirius.  
>  **Oh, merci, mon Dieu.** \- Oh, thank, God.  
>  **Merde, tu es si mignon.** \- Shit, you are so cute.  
>  **Mon chou / mon choupinou / mon chouchou** \- my favorite one (literally my cabbage)  
> 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Past/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/References Character Death

** SIRIUS **

**———**

At noon on the day of their date, Sirius stood on the doormat outside of Remus’ door, nervous and jittery. He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous. He’d been on plenty of first dates before, but something about this seemed different. Remus already knew so much about him, his family history, his baggage, and he hadn’t gone running for the hills yet. But what if he changed his mind and decided that his baggage was too much to handle? Or what if whatever chemistry they had was gone the moment they were actually in the same room as each other? He ran his hands through his hair, pulling on it slightly and let out a slow, controlled breath. Everything was going to be fine.

He tugged on the hem of his faded maroon Gryffindor t-shirt then ran a hand through his hair one more time before raising that hand to knock on the door. Seconds later, the door opened to reveal a smiling and slightly flushed Remus. He was wearing the same corduroy pants he’d been wearing the day of Lily’s and James’ wedding and the green jumper from their first video chat date. Looking back on it, had that actually been their first date? Sirius mentally shook his head to bring himself back into the moment, then smiled, although it was hidden behind the mask he was still wearing.

“Hi,” Sirius said in a way that he hoped sounded casual.

“Hi,” Remus said softly. They stood there for a moment before Remus shook his head slightly and stepped out of the way. “Sorry, come In.”

“Thanks.” Sirius stepped through the doorway and took in Remus’ apartment. It was small but welcoming. The couch tucked against a wall was covered in blankets, in front of it on the opposite wall was a flat-screen tv on an old leather trunk, and in the corner was a ratty bookshelf completely filled with books. In fact, there were so many books that there were several piles on the floor around it as well. It was all so very Remus.

“You can kick your shoes off there,” Remus said, pointing to the mat next to the door, “and the bathroom is just through there so you can wash your hands.”

“Great, thanks.” Sirius quickly toed off his shoes then followed Remus’ directions to the bathroom. As he exited, he took off his mask, shoved it in his back pocket, and then walked back into the living room to find Remus standing in basically the same spot he’d left him in.

“So, hi,” he said awkwardly.

Remus laughed nervously. “Hi.”

“Can I—?” Sirius started, taking a tentative step toward him.

Remus nodded and closed the rest of the distance between them, wrapping his arms loosely around Sirius’ waist. Reflexively, Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus’ shoulders. He’d intended for it to be a quick hug, but then he heard Remus let out a soft little sound as he tightened his embrace on Sirius’ waist and pressed his face in his neck. Sirius squeezed tighter and buried his face into Remus’ hair.

After about a minute, Remus pulled back, but not entirely, to look up at him. “Sorry, this is the first physical contact I’ve had in months,” he admitted, a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

Sirius simply smiled at him then pulled him closer to his chest. “Don’t apologize. I could do this all day,” he muttered into the top of his head.

Remus laughed into his neck. “Well, maybe we should sit at least; otherwise, my knees might start to swell more.”

“Are they bothering you today?” Sirius asked, reluctantly releasing his hold on Remus.

“Only a little.” Remus gestured to the couch, so Sirius took a seat. Remus settled in next to him, close enough that their legs brushed slightly.

“So, we’d talked about watching some movies?”

“Uh, yeah. What are you in the mood for?” Remus asked, leaning forward to grab the remote.

“You can pick. I’ll watch almost anything.”

“Would you judge me if I suggested a rom-com?”

Sirius’ face lit up. “Oh, my God. Remus Lupin— the same man that reads Faulkner and Wilde, and watches period dramas on the BBC— watches romantic comedies?”

“It’s a guilty pleasure, ok!” Remus said defensively, elbowing him in the ribs.

Sirius laughed. “I think it’s endearing. I like rom-coms, too. Didn’t use to, but my college roommate loved them, and she made me watch them all the time.”

“You lived with a girl in college? Poor girl, you must have been chaos for her,” Remus teased before focusing his attention on scrolling through titles on Netflix.

“Oi, you!” Sirius poked Remus in the ribs in retaliation, which made him let out a little yelp.

Remus glared, and Sirius grinned in response. He rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the tv. “New or old?”

“Old.”

“Oh! What about Dirty Dancing? Technically it’s more of a dramedy but—”

“It does have Patrick Swayze, though,” Sirius said.

Remus smiled and selected the title. “Oh, wait, before we press play, did you want anything to drink? Water or I could make tea.”

“Water is fine, thanks.”

Remus got up and walked to the kitchen, and while he was gone, Sirius took the opportunity to stretch out slightly, slinging his arm over the back of the couch. “Here you go,” Remus said as he returned with two glasses of water. He set them down on the coffee table, pressed play, then settled back onto the couch, his head brushing ever so slightly against Sirius’ arm.

It didn’t take very long for Remus to start leaning into Sirius’ side or for Sirius to drape his arm around Remus’ shoulder. By the time they were finishing the second movie, Remus had curled his legs up onto the couch and pulled a blanket over himself, and Sirius had shifted to a partial lying down position to accommodate him. And by the end of the third movie, some weird indie flick with Anna Kendrick, they’d put in an order for Chinese food and were both stretched out on the couch, snuggled together under the blanket.

Just as the credits started to roll, there was a loud knock at the door, making Remus jump slightly. “That’s probably the food. I’ll get it,” he said, slightly grimacing as he attempted to shift to a sitting position.

Sirius swung his legs off the couch and laid a hand on top of Remus’ on his thigh. “I’ll get it,” he said before standing up.

Remus smiled, gratefully, as Sirius set the takeout bag on the coffee table. “Thank you. I’m just starting to get a little stiff.”

“It’s alright, I understand.” He paused for a moment as they sorted out their food before speaking again. “Is it from being on the couch like we were, or is it just one of those days?”

“One of those days. But I’ll be alright. It’s not a full flare-up. I can usually tell when those are coming,” Remus replied. “Now, I believe it’s your turn to pick a movie unless you needed to head out soon?”

Sirius smiled. “I think I can stick around for one more.”

Even though Sirius had picked a longer movie, it still felt like the credits had started to roll much sooner than he would have liked. They both sat up and stretched slightly, and Sirius checked the time on his phone. “Wow, it’s later than I thought it was. I should probably head home,” he said slowly. He stood up and stared down at Remus, who stood up, too, grimacing again.

“Yeah, I understand,” Remus said. He followed him to the door and stood, waiting for Sirius to slip his shoes on.

“I had a really great time,” Sirius said softly, taking a step toward Remus.

“Me, too.” Remus smiled, then stared down at his feet and shuffled them nervously. “I’d like to see you again if that’s alright.”

Sirius smiled and closed the distance between them. “I’d really like that,” he said, taking Remus’ hand.

Remus squeezed his hand then let go in favor of wrapping his arms around his neck for a tight hug. Sirius pressed his hand to the small of his back while his other hand went to cradle his head. Remus buried his face into Sirius’ neck, and Sirius felt his breath hitch. He pulled away slightly, stared down into Remus’ sparkling green eyes, and then leaned in to bring their foreheads together for a brief moment before closing the rest of the distance.

Their lips brushed together, soft and hesitant, before pulling apart again, but then Sirius felt Remus’ hand move to cradle the back of his neck, giving him more confidence. He slid his hand into the Remus’ impossibly soft curls and pressed his lips more firmly against the other boys. With a faint hum, Remus melted further into Sirius’ arms and parted his lips ever so slightly in an invitation, one what Sirius quickly accepted, nipping softly at his bottom lip before licking into his mouth sweetly. Their tongues danced together in a gentle caress until, reluctantly, they both had to pull away to catch their breath, eyes closed with their foreheads pressed together.

“C’était... autre chose.”

“Sirius, English, please,” Remus whined.

“Sorry, mon chou.”

“You’re doing that on purpose, aren’t you?”

“Maybe just a little,” he admitted. They both let out a breathy laugh before stepping apart.

“So, I’ll let you know when I get home?” Sirius asked, shoving his hands in his pockets; otherwise, he might be tempted to pull Remus back, and then he’d never leave.

“Please,” Remus said, before reaching for the door handle.

Sirius stepped through the doorway and looked back. “Goodnight, Rem.”

Remus smiled and leaned up to press a light kiss to Sirius’ lips. “Goodnight.”

The door shut, and Sirius walked down the hall a few steps before resting against the wall and letting out a sigh. He really did have a great time. It was one of the best first dates he’d ever had, to be honest. So he was beyond happy but also disappointed. He didn’t want to leave. He would have been content to spend the rest of the night watching movies with Remus in his arms, especially since he wasn’t really sure when he’d get to do it again. With anyone else, Sirius probably wouldn’t have even hesitated to turn the date into a sleepover, but Remus was different. He really wanted things to go well, so he didn’t want to push things too quickly. But, Remus had sounded almost as disappointed as he was when he’d said he should probably leave, so maybe…

Sirius reached into his pocket and grabbed his phone.

—

**ANDI**

7/3/2020 - 10:03 PM

_Do you need the car tomorrow?_

**_Nope. Date went that well, huh?_ **

_I’m about to find out._

* * *

** REMUS **

**———**

Remus leaned against the door and sighed happily, wrapping his arms around his torso. He couldn’t even be bothered to be embarrassed that he probably looked like the cliche lead in a romantic comedy, leaning against a door after a goodnight kiss. He was too happy. He’d just had perhaps the best first date he’d ever had, so good that he hadn’t really wanted it to end, but he didn’t want to seem to forward by asking Sirius to stay. Instead, he was trying to figure out how long he needed to wait before asking to see him again. With another sigh, Remus pushed himself off the door and was about to flick the locks when there was a soft knock. Remus wrenched the door open quickly, and his breath caught when he saw Sirius standing there, hand still poised to knock.

Sirius’ mouth dropped open for a moment, and his hand went to the back of his neck. “What if I didn’t go?” he asked quickly.

“Oh, thank, fuck.” Remus huffed in relief and nodded, pulling Sirius back into the apartment.

Sirius let out a small, relieved laugh, which Remus quickly muffled with a kiss. His hands settled onto his waist for balance as he leaned up more into the kiss, which Sirius returned with enthusiasm. Sirius wrapped an arm around Remus’ waist, pulling them closer together, and kicked the door closed behind him. Remus melted against his firm chest, walking him into the door with a soft thump. His hands tightened in the fabric of Sirius’ t-shirt as Sirius’ free hand went to cradle the back of his head, deepening their kiss further, if that was even possible. Remus let out a sound somewhere between a moan and a whine as Sirius pulled at his bottom lip with his teeth. God, he sounded so needy, and part of him felt like he should be embarrassed. But based on the sound Sirius was also making and the way he had one hand splayed across his lower back and the other tightening in the curls at the nape of his neck, Remus couldn’t be bothered.

“We don’t have to do anything,” Sirius murmured, lips suddenly gone from his.

Remus chased after them instinctively, not ready to part yet. “I know,” he said, in between quick kisses.

“I just didn’t want to go yet.”

“I didn’t want you to, either,” he managed. He pressed a few soft kisses along Sirius’ jaw.

Sirius gasped and dragged Remus’ mouth back to his, licking into his mouth. After a few minutes, they both broke apart, the ragged breaths mixing together as they attempted to compose themselves.

“So, do you want to stay?” Remus asked once his breathing had returned to its semi-normal rate.

“I really, really do,” he said with a breathy chuckle. “Although, maybe not against this door because I kind of have a doorknob digging into my ass.”

Remus’ cheeks flushed even more as he stepped back. “Sorry, I—”

Sirius cut him off with a searing kiss. “Don’t you dare apologize for kissing me like that. C'était tellement chaud.”

Remus whined. “Sirius, English please, or at least fucking translate. I swear, I’m downloading Duolingo tomorrow.”

He laughed and kissed him quickly. “It was hot.”

“Oh,” Remus said, smiling softly. He leaned up and pressed another quick kiss to the corner of Sirius’ mouth. “Do you want to help me clean up, then we can head to bed?”

“Sure.” They quickly took care of the takeout containers, locked the front door, and shut off all of the lights before heading into Remus’ bedroom. Remus had mocked Mary for her suggestion to change his sheets and clean in here, too, but she’d clearly been onto something. Still his wing-woman, even from another state. He’d have to thank her later.

“So, I think I’ve got a pair of pajama bottoms that will fit you, but my t-shirts would probably all be too snug on you,” Remus said, rifling through the top drawer of his dresser.

“That’s fine, I can wear the same shirt. Thanks, Re,” Sirius said as Remus handed him a pair of plaid cotton pajama pants. “I’ll just go get changed in the bathroom.” Remus nodded as Sirius turned to leave the room again, but then he doubled back and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “Ok, sorry, going now.”

Remus laughed breathily and waited until he heard the bathroom door click before pulling the sweater over his head, leaving him in a simple white t-shirt, and kicking off his corduroys. He shoved both into the bottom of his closet before fishing out a new pair of pajama bottoms for himself. He heard the door open again just as he started to crawl into the left side of the bed. “Do they fit ok?” he asked as Sirius came back into the room, his jeans folded neatly in a bundle under his arm.

He set the pants down on top of the dresser and shut off the overhead light before climbing into bed. “Yeah, they’re fine,” he said, leaning over to give Remus a soft kiss. When they broke apart, Sirius let his eyes trail down Remus’ now bare arm to his tattoo. “Mmmm, it’s even sexier in person,” he whispered, taking Remus’ hand to bring his arm up so he could place a soft kiss over the full moon the wolf was howling at.

Remus hummed softly and rolled onto his side to face him. “So are yours. The ones I can see, anyway,” he said, letting his free hand trail over the phoenix tail wrapping around Sirius’ right forearm. There was a quote just under it, curving along with the tail.

“Rien n’est éternel,” Sirius said softly.

“What does it mean?”

“Nothing lasts forever,” Sirius translated. “Got it in France. I thought it was poetic.”

“It is, especially with the phoenix, since they rise from the ashes.” Remus trailed his fingers down to the inside of Sirius’ wrist. “Why the dog?”

Sirius smiled and turned to face him, casually resting a hand on Remus’ hip. “Jamie always jokes that I have a doglike personality.”

Remus laughed.” Yeah, I can see that.”

Sirius smirked at him before bringing their lips together in a playful kiss.

Remus laughed into the kiss and wound his arm around Sirius’ waist, his fingers brushing lightly against the patch of exposed skin between the hem of his shirt and the waistband of his pants. “You’re so warm,” Remus cooed, scooting closer so that he could press their bodies together.

He laughed and squirmed slightly. “And your hands are like little icicles,” he teased.

“Sorry. I have Raynaud’s, so my hands are always cold.” Remus pulled his hand away, but Sirius caught his hand and pressed it on his back, just under his shirt.

“I don’t mind it. I can keep you warm.”

Remus smiled and burrowed closer, pressing his nose into Sirius’ neck, eliciting a soft chuckle from him.

“Should we turn the rest of the lights off?” Sirius asked.

“Yeah, probably,” he replied before reluctantly turning away from Sirius’ warm chest to flick the lamp off.

When he turned back, Sirius pulled him back flush against his chest, wrapping one arm around Remus’ shoulders and resting his other hand lightly on his hip. He brushed his thumb softly along Remus’ hip bone, and Remus’ breath stilled. Remus didn’t want to rush things, and he was perfectly content to just cuddle if that’s what Sirius wanted to do, but he also already missed the feel of Sirius’ lips on his own. Tentatively, he nuzzled his nose into Sirius’ neck before placing a feather-light kiss in the same spot. Sirius hummed appreciatively, and Remus kissed him again. Sirius slid his hand to the small of Remus’ back, just under his shirt, as Remus continued pressing delicate kisses along Sirius’ neck.

“Re,” Sirius whispered.

Remus trailed kisses up his jaw and hesitated. “I’m not expecting anything,” he said carefully.

“Neither am I,” Sirius agreed before bringing their lips together for a sweet kiss. “We can do whatever you want.” He brushed a kiss on his jaw then brought their mouths together again.

Remus hummed against Sirius’ lips. “That. Definitely more of that,” he murmured before sliding his hand farther up Sirius’ back.

Sirius made a soft sound and rolled to be slightly on top of Remus, whose breath caught at the sudden movement. “That can be arranged,” he said cheekily before lowering his head down to place a series of open-mouth kisses along Remus’ neck.

—

Remus’ eyes slowly fluttered open then closed again to block out the bright light streaming through the gap in his curtains. It was much too early for how late he ended up getting to sleep last night, but he still felt like he’d slept better than he had in months. He shifted slightly to take the pressure off his stiff hip and felt a pair of warm arms tighten around him. Remus’ eyes fluttered open again, and he carefully lifted his head off of Sirius’ chest to look at him. Still asleep, based on his breathing. Sirius was beautiful in the morning, with his slightly mussed hair and his kiss-swollen lips, a smile playing at the corners. Remus allowed himself to smile as he carefully rested his head on Sirius’ shoulder and nuzzled his face into his neck.

“Morning,” Sirius mumbled sleepily.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Remus whispered, lips brushing against skin as he spoke.

“It’s alright, mon chou.” Sirius brushed a few loose curls from Remus’ face and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

He pressed a kiss to the small purple love mark on Sirius’ neck he’d made last night. “Did you sleep, alright?”

“Beautifully. Your bed is like a fluffy cocoon of blankets and pillows, I love it.”

Remus laughed. “So, do you have plans for today?”

“Not really, but I’m sure you’ll want to get on with your day so I can head out after I catch a quick shower if that’s alright,” Sirius said.

“Oh, I didn’t mean—” Remus propped himself up to look at him. “I was just wondering if you had somewhere to be, otherwise, I was going to make breakfast.”

“Oh.” Sirius’ face split into a grin. “Breakfast sounds lovely.”

Remus smiled in response and leaned in for a quick kiss, but stopped short. “Sorry, I bet I have morning breath, you probably—”

Sirius chuckled. “I probably do, too. But I don’t care if you don’t.”

He shook his head, and Sirius closed the distance, kissing him soundly. Sirius’ hands skimmed along the hem of his t-shirt as he pulled Remus more fully on top of him. Remus smiled into the kiss and let himself get lost in it, moving his hands up into Sirius’ hair and tangling the strands between his fingers.

“So how do you take your eggs?” he asked once they pulled apart.

“Scrambled?”

Remus quickly kissed him again. “Done.” Another kiss. “You can grab that shower while I cook if you want. And I think there’s an extra toothbrush in the medicine cabinet from the last time I went to the dentist.”

“You’re amazing,” Sirius purred, pulling him in for another kiss.

* * *

** SIRIUS **

**———**

**REMUS**

7/7/2020 - 7:15 PM

_“With his broad shoulders and slim waist, he was a  
_ _yield sign yet she could NOT!”_

_She could not yield, Remus. She simply could not._

**_Well, how could she possibly?_ **

_So, how are you?_

**_Good. How are you? Also, I kind of missed your  
_ ** **_daily bad query quotes._ **

_Bored._

_Well, I can send you some of the ones you’ve  
_ _missed if you want._

**_Haha. Yes, please._ **

_“A tear rolled down her face like a tractor. ‘David,’  
_ _she said tearfully, ‘I don’t want to be a farmer no  
_ _more.’”_

**_Wow, that’s bad._ **

_“Her petticoats dropped to the ground, rustling like  
_ _a cockroach in a sugar bowl.”_

**_Oh, historical romance._ **

_Well, I do love history ;)_

_Do you want more, or is that good? Because I have  
_ _at least a dozen more._

**_Hang on. I’m working on something for you._ **

_???_

_What is it?_

**_I said, ‘hang on.’_ **

_Remusssss_

**__ **

_OMG did you just draw that?_

_My very own Remus Lupin original._

_I love it. Thank you._

**_Haha. You’re welcome._ **

_Would it be too sappy to say I already kind of miss  
_ _you?_

**_It’s definitely sappy. But I won’t judge you, seeing  
_ ** **_as I kind of do, too._ **

—

“Morning, Andi,” Sirius chirped as he walked into the kitchen mid-morning on Thursday.

“Did you just wake up?” Andi asked.

“No, I’ve been awake for about an hour. I was getting a jump start on contracts, but I finally needed coffee,” Sirius said, reaching into a cabinet to grab a mug.

“Ah, and would your chipper mood have anything to do with you getting to see a certain curly-haired copyeditor again tomorrow?”

“Can’t I just be in a good mood without it being about a boy?”

“At any other time of day, sure, but you aren’t a morning person.” Andi took a sip of her own coffee then set down the mug. “You’re so smitten, aren’t you?”

Sirius hid a grin behind his mug. “Maybe,” he mumbled. “Ok, completely.”

Andi smiled. “I’m happy that he makes you happy, Siri.”

“Thanks. It feels kind of like it’s too good to be true. He just— Merde, Il me rend tellement heureux.”

“Ne pense pas comme ça.” Andi’s phone went off, and she picked it up to read the text. “You deserve to be hap—”

Sirius watched as the color drained from Andi’s face. “Qu’est-ce que c'est?”

She took a deep breath and set her phone face down on the table before looking at him, a pained expression on her face. “You should sit down.”

“What is it?” he repeated, this time in English.

“Sirius, please, you’re going to want to be sitting down for this. Fais moi confiance, d’accord?”

Sirius bit his lip and sank into a stool at the kitchen island next to Andi. He searched her face, trying to figure out what could have spooked her so much.

“That was Narcissa,” Andi started slowly.

“You two still talk?” Sirius asked in bewilderment.

“Only occasionally. Mostly just random family updates. Like when someone gets married or has a baby… or dies.”

Sirius felt like his heart stopped. “Who?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Siri…”

“Who?” he repeated, louder this time.

“Je suis vraiment désolé, Sirius—”

“Merde, Andi, qui est mort?” Sirius snapped.

“Ta mère,” she whispered.

He felt his stomach drop. It was probably a good thing that Andi had told him to sit down; otherwise, he might have collapsed. His mother was dead. His last living immediate family member. “Quand?”

“The funeral was today.” Sirius was silent, and Andi reached a hand out to touch his hand. “Siri, I’m so sorry. I know you guys had a complicated relationship—”

“Complicated?” Sirius repeated incredulously. “She abused me for years, then abandoned me because I occasionally sleep with men. I’d say that was more than just ‘complicated.’” He took a deep breath and let it out. “You said the funeral was today, but when did she die?”

“A few weeks ago,” Andi admitted slowly.

“A few weeks ago? My mother died a few weeks ago, and no one thought to fucking tell me?” He shouted.

“Sirius, please, language. Dora—”

“Sorry,” he said quickly. He stood up and started to pace around the kitchen erratically. He stopped and shoved his hands into his hair, pulling slightly at it. He couldn’t think straight. “Putain de merde.”

“Siri, qu'est ce que je peux faire?” Andi gently asked, crossing over to him and resting a hand on his shoulder.

“Arrête—“he snapped, stepping back. He felt like everything was starting to close in on him. He couldn’t breathe. “J’ai besoin de sortir d’ici.”

“Sirius, maybe you should just take a minute—” She started, but Sirius barely heard her. He was already brushing past her to basically run to the door. He shoved his feet into his shoes and grabbed his mask and keys off the sideboard before wrenching the door open and slamming it shut behind him.

—

Hours later, Sirius found himself standing in front of Remus’ apartment building in the pouring rain, staring up at it. He wasn’t even sure exactly how he’d gotten there, or how long he’d been walking around. His phone had died hours ago, and his mind had basically shut off. He felt numb. It was like his feet carried him there without him really knowing it.

He knew it was a bad idea to go to Remus’. It hadn’t been very long, and it was probably too soon to be pushing his baggage onto him, but he just needed to see him. Maybe if he simply saw that shy smile and those kind eyes, everything would be ok. He pressed the intercom button, and Remus’ voice rang through the speaking after a few moments.

“Who is it?”

“Re…” Sirius croaked, and that was all he could manage, but it didn’t matter because the door buzzed then clicked open, allowing him entry.

Remus’ front door was already open, and he was standing there by the time Sirius made it up the stairs. “Fuck, I’ve been so— Fuck, Sirius—” he made a strangled groan as he stopped himself from immediately reaching out for him. “You’re soaked. Have you been outside in this the whole time?”

Sirius nodded and ran a hand through his rain-soaked curls.

“Come in. Let’s get you dried off.” Remus stepped aside and gestured for him to come in, but Sirius didn’t move.

“I shouldn’t. I’ve been outside for hours and— I don’t want to risk you getting sick, I just had to see you. I’m sorry, this was a bad idea.” He shook his head and shoved his hands through his hair again.

Remus wrung his hands together and looked at him desperately. “I’ve been calling for hours and worrying my ass off.”

“My phone died,” he said weakly.

“Just— please come in.”

Sirius nodded softly and stepped through the doorway.

“Take your shoes off and stay here.”

He nodded again and took off his shoes as Remus disappeared in the direction of his bathroom and bedroom. After about a minute, he heard the sound of the shower turning on, then Remus reappeared.

“I set out some fresh clothes for you in the bathroom, and the shower is heating up for you,” Remus told him gently. “I’ll call James and let him know you’re alright. Leave your phone on the coffee table. I’ll charge it for you, alright?”

“Ok,” Sirius croaked.

It was as if Sirius was moving on auto-pilot as he stripped off his soaking wet clothes, showered, and slipped into the new clothes Remus had set aside for him: the same pair of plaid pajama bottoms he wore the last time he was here and a stretched-out mustard jumper, which he noticed smelled like Remus as he pulled it over his head. When he shuffled out of the bathroom, he heard Remus in the kitchen talking on the phone in hushed tones.

“Yeah, his phone died— Yes, he was wearing his mask when he showed up— James, I wasn’t going to turn him away, don’t be ridiculous.”

Sirius stopped in the doorway, hugging his arms around his own waist, and Remus looked up from the mugs he was currently pouring hot water into.

Remus offered him a small smile. “I’ve got to go, he just got out of the shower— No, I’ll have him call you later because he doesn’t need you to yell at him right now,” he said sharply into the phone. His face softened. “Yeah, I’ll tell him. Bye, James.”

“I’m so sor—” Sirius started.

“Shhhh, it’s ok, love,” Remus cooed, closing the distance between them. He went to wrap his arms around him, but Sirius shook his head. Remus let his arms drop back to his sides. “You’re shaking. Do you want some tea?”

Sirius nodded. Remus turned to grab their mugs and extended one to him. He took it between his hands and held it up to his mouth, but didn’t drink it.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Remus asked gently.

Sirius shook his head.

“That’s ok. I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”

He looked up from his mug into Remus’ eyes, which were focused on him so softly, with so much care. It was too much. He turned to face the counter and set his mug down with shaky hands. He let out a shuttered exhale, and his knees began to shake so violently that he had to grip the counter just to hold himself upright. Then a pair of thin arms wrapped around his waist from behind, and he felt something unlock in him.

A soft sob escaped his lips, and tears started to fall. “She’s gone. It’s over.”

Remus’ arms squeezed tighter. “Shhh, I’ve got you. I’m right here,” he murmured, his voice muffled against Sirius’ back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **French Translations:**  
>   
>  **C’était... autre chose.** \- That was… something else.  
>  **C'était tellement chaud.** \- It was so hot.  
>  **Merde, Il me rend tellement heureux.** \- Damn, he makes me so happy.  
>  **Ne pense pas comme ça.** \- Don’t think like that.  
>  **Fais moi confiance, d'accord.** \- Just trust me, ok?  
>  **Je suis vraiment désolé, Sirius.** \- I’m so sorry, Sirius.  
>  **Merde, Andi, qui est mort?** \- Damn it, Andi, who died?  
>  **Ta mère.** \- Your mother  
>  **Quand?** \- When?  
>  **Putain de merde.** \- fucking shit  
>  **Qu'est ce que je peux faire?** \- What can I do?  
>  **Arrête.** \- Don’t  
>  **J’ai besoin de sortir d'ici.** \- I need to get out of here.  
> 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Smut (it’s finally happening guys), References to Illness, Hospitalization

** REMUS **

**———**

Remus stood in the kitchen with his arms wrapped tightly around Sirius’ waist from behind until his breathing started to return to normal.

Sirius sniffed loudly and rested a hand on Remus’ forearms where they pressed into his stomach. “Thank you for being here,” he whispered shakily.

“Shhh, you don’t have to thank me,” Remus muttered into Sirius’ back. He nosed at the space between his shoulder blades. “I care about you. Of course, I would be here for you.”

Sirius let out a soft whine and turned in his arms to face him. Remus looked up at him softly, taking in the state of his bloodshot eyes. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” Sirius whispered, rubbing his hands slowly up and down his sides.

Remus reached up with both hands to wipe away at the tears with the pads of his thumbs. “I could say the same about you,” he admitted before leaning up to press a soft kiss to Sirius’ lips. “Now, why don’t you go crawl into bed while I reheat our tea.”

Sirius nodded and pulled Remus in for a brief hug before stepping back and shuffling off to the bedroom.

Remus sighed, then topped off their tea with more hot water. With one mug in each hand, he padded to the bedroom, flipping off light switches with his elbow as he went. When he got to the bedroom, he took in the sight of Sirius curled in on himself, head resting on his knees as he leaned against the mass of fluffy pillows, and he felt his heart pang slightly. He looked so vulnerable. He made his way to his own side of the bed and set his mug down before reaching over to hand off a mug to Sirius, who set it on the other side table.

“You’re limping,” Sirius said as Remus slowly and carefully climbed under the covers.

“My hips are just a little inflamed today. I’ll be ok. Now come here.” He motioned for Sirius to come closer, and Sirius scooted over to curl into Remus’ side.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Sirius mumbled into the crook of Remus’ shoulder.

Remus took a small sip of his tea and set the mug down again. “I took some meds and put some anti-inflammatory gel on earlier. It should start working soon. Mostly it’s just my back now, which tends to seize up when my hips flare-up.”

Sirius lifted his head and brought a sweater-covered hand up to cradle his face. “I could give you a massage.”

“You don’t have to, I’ll be fine.”

Sirius smiled. “I know I don’t have to. I want to, mon chou,” he said before kissing him softly. “Mmm, you taste like whiskey.”

“I put some in our tea,” Remus mumbled against his lips.

Sirius kissed him again. “Remus, it’s three pm.”

Remus shrugged. “Seemed like you could use it. Besides, it’s five o’clock somewhere, right?”

“You’re amazing.” He kissed him again. “Now let me help.”

“I’m supposed to be comforting you right now,” Remus protested.

“Just being here is comforting me. Besides,” Sirius kissed his jaw right next to his ear, making Remus shiver slightly, “maybe I just want an excuse to see you shirtless. It’ll help me take my mind off things.”

Remus laughed and wrapped his arms around Sirius’ neck. “Well, if it will help you take your mind off things…”

“Sit up.” When Remus complied, Sirius’ hands went to the hem of his sweater and t-shirt. “Can I?”

Remus nodded, and Sirius peeled the clothing up over his head gently then stopped. “What?”

“Just admiring,” Sirius said, appreciatively humming as he leaned in for a quick kiss. “Now lie down.”

Remus lay on his stomach, bringing his arms up and folding them under his head to create a pillow. He felt Sirius move to straddle his hips, then felt his warm hands rubbing softly along the planes of his back. He closed his eyes, softly exhaling as Sirius started to gently work out his sore muscles. “You’re really good at that.”

“I spent some time in Sweden,” Sirius joked. He pressed his thumbs lightly into the base of Remus’ neck, making his laugh turn into a soft moan.

He wasn’t sure how much time had gone by, but after a while, Remus was brought back to himself at the feel of Sirius’ lips brushing on the back of his neck. “Better?”

Remus nodded, then rolled over and smiled up at Sirius, who was still braced above him. He leaned up to kiss him softly. “Your turn.”

“You don’t have to,” Sirius mumbled against his lips. “Especially since your joints are all flared up.”

“I want to, though. I’m supposed to be the one taking care of you right now,” Remus ran his hands along Sirius’ back, “and you’re still really tense. Let me help you relax.”

Sirius’ face softened and sat up on his heels. “Ok,” he whispered.

Remus sat up as well and carefully moved his hands to the hem of the sweater Sirius was wearing. Sirius nodded and let him peel it up over his head. “Lie down,” Remus instructed gently.

“I should warn you,” Sirius started, “my back–”

“If you’re talking about your tattoo, I’ve seen glimpses of it on your Instagram, and I’ve already had my mental combustion moment over it,” Remus teased.

He laughed nervously. “No, it’s not that— well, it kind of is, but it’s more what I got the tattoo for.”

Remus cocked his head to the side. “You’re not making any sense.”

“You’ll see.” He kept his eyes downcast as he shifted over and lay on his stomach.

Remus gently shifted onto his knees and straddled Sirius’ hips. Then he saw what Sirius was talking about. Under the giant tree of life tattoo that took up a majority of Sirius’ back were faint red lines, welt-shaped scars that looked like they’d been made with a belt. They were mostly obscured by the tattoo, but not completely. Remus let out a soft, shuddering exhale. “Who—?”

“My mother,” Sirius mumbled into the pillow. “When I was sixteen—”

Remus shushed him. “You don’t have to talk about it right now.” He brought his hands up to his mouth and exhaled on them to warm his fingers up slightly before running them up Sirius’ back, tracing the muscles to find where he was most tense.

“No, I want to,” he said resolutely before letting out a soft moan as Remus gently pressed his thumbs into a knot on his shoulder. “But keep doing that because it feels amazing, and it might make it easier to talk about.”

Remus chuckled softly as he pulled another appreciative hum from Sirius.

Sirius took a deep breath and let it out before starting to speak. “So, as you know, my mother was a piece of work. She wasn’t exactly afraid of using physical force to get me to step into line. Usually, she pulled my hair, which is why I kept it so short until I moved to Europe, but anyway. So, when I was sixteen, I started getting into a lot more trouble at school. I was acting out, skipping class, mouthing off to teachers, drinking. You know, the typical cry for help behavior.”

Remus hummed, so he knew he was listening, and Sirius continued.

“It all came to a head when I got caught with some weed in the dorm. It was the final straw. The school called my parents in for an emergency meeting, saying that they were thinking of expelling me for all of the trouble I caused. So, my parents did what they normally did; they threw money at the problem then dealt with me in private. It wasn’t the first time she’d hit me, but she usually found ways not to leave marks.”

Remus’ hands stilled on his lower back, where the tree trunk looked like it was starting to grow from Sirius’ waistline. “I don’t know what to say, Sirius. I’m so sorry. No one should have to deal with that.”

“It’s— well, it’s not ok, but— Anyway, I got the tattoo my second semester at Trinity to try to hide the marks. People kept asking questions, and I didn’t— I wanted to try to forget about them. It didn’t really work, though.”

“It’s a beautiful tattoo, though. You still managed to turn something horrible into something beautiful, and that’s not nothing,” Remus whispered as he trailed his fingers along some of the branches.

Sirius shivered slightly.

“Sorry, is that ok?”

He nodded against the pillow then turned onto his back. He took both of Remus’ hands in his and brought them up to his lips, pressing a few kisses to his knuckles. “Thank you for being here.”

Remus smiled gently and brought his hands to rest on Sirius' stomach. “Of course.”

Sirius hummed and brought his hands to rest on Remus’ thighs, his thumbs brushing lightly against his inner thighs through his pajama pants. Remus’ breath caught, and he felt a familiar, inconvenient twitch in his pants. Sirius’ thumbs stilled, then he slowly dragged his hands up to his ribs and brought him closer to him slowly. Remus threaded his hand through Sirius’ hair and nipped lightly at his bottom lip, then shifted uncomfortably.

“You alright, Re?”

“Hips—”

Sirius nodded and braced his arm across Remus’ lower back before carefully flipping them over and pressing him into the mattress.

Remus let out a surprised gasp.

“Alright?”

He nodded furiously and wrapped his arms around Sirius’ neck, pulling him down for a crushing kiss. Sirius moaned into his mouth before moving down to his neck, scraping his teeth lightly across his skin as he placed open-mouthed kisses everywhere he could reach. Sirius’ thigh slotted between Remus’, and he felt Sirius press against his leg in a hard length. “Fuck, Sirius,” Remus gasped, blinking up at the ceiling as his hands went to Sirius’ hair.

“Je te veux tellement,” Sirius whispered directly into Remus’ ear, driving him even crazier than he already was.

Remus lifted his hips, seeking friction, anything to help relieve the pressure as he strained against his boxers. “I want you, too.”

Sirius quickly lifted his head and stared down at Remus with a questioning smirk.

“I told you that I was going to start learning fucking French,” he teased playfully.

“Well, maybe I can teach you some things.” Sirius laughed and brushed their lips together. “Like, ‘embrasse moi’. That means ‘kiss me’.”

“Embrasse moi,” Remus repeated breathily.

Sirius bit his lip then brought his lips back to Remus’ neck. “I see what you mean, now,” he mumbled as he trailed kisses down his neck to his collarbone. “It’s really sexy when you speak French, even if your pronunciation is a little off.”

“Are you really going to criticize my pronunciation right— oh, fuck.”

Sirius looked up from where he had just placed a light bite just above the waistband of Remus’ pajamas. “Is this— can we?”

“God, fuck, yes,” Remus breathed. He pulled Sirius back up to his mouth, nipping at his lower lip and licking into his mouth as Sirius clumsily shoved at both of their pants to get them off. They eventually managed it, leaving them naked and panting for breath as they stared at each other.

Sirius leaned down and kissed him sweetly, then broke away to trail kisses back down his torso. Remus let his head fall back onto the pillows, his lips parted and eyes closed. He felt Sirius nuzzle his inner thigh, and he clenched his fists in the sheets. There was a warm pressure around the tip of his cock, and he let out a sharp gasp as Sirius sucked hard, his tongue starting to swirl around him.

Remus moaned softly, and Sirius moaned in response, moving his hands from Remus’ hips to the backs of his thighs and gripping them hard. Remus tightened his grip on the sheets and willed himself not to come on the spot. Sirius hummed and found Remus’ hand, bringing it to the back of his head. Remus lifted his head and looked down to see Sirius looking up at him, his eyes sparkling. “Oh,” Remus breathed out. He tangled his fingers in Sirius’ hair as Sirius continued to build up a slow, torturous rhythm.

“Sirius, I’m close, I’m gonna—” Remus tried to pull back, in case Sirius didn’t want him to finish in his mouth, but then Sirius made a low, pleased sound in protest and wrapped his hand around the base of Remus’ cock. Remus threw his head back into the pillows and arched up into Sirius’ mouth. He sucked hard again, and Remus saw stars. “Fuck, Sirius—” His hips snapped up, and his other hand gripped at Sirius’ shoulder as he came hard into his mouth.

Sirius moaned softly as he gently licked him clean before resting his forehead against Remus’ hip. “Tu as tellement bon goût,” he murmured, pressing lazy kisses along Remus’ hip bone.

Remus carded his fingers through Sirius’ hair. He had no idea what that meant, but he knew it made him want to kiss Sirius senseless. “Come here.” Remus wrapped his hands around Sirius’ arms to pull him back up, and then pushed him onto his back so he could settle on top of him. Remus crashed his lips against Sirius’, licking into his mouth eagerly as Sirius’ hands came to rest on either side of his face. He snaked a hand down Sirius’ chest and abs, letting himself map out the lean muscles.

Sirius sharply inhaled as Remus traced his fingers lightly along his hard cock, then moaned as Remus wrapped his hand around him and brushed his thumb along his leaking slit. Remus jacked him a few times before rolling away toward his bedside table. Sirius whined a little, and Remus laughed lightly.

“Hold on, love,” he said gently as he rooted around in his drawer for the bottle of lube. He squirted a little into his palm, then rolled back over and wrapped his hand around Sirius’ hard length.

“Oh, mon dieu,” Sirius groaned. He gathered Remus into his chest and kissed him hard while Remus slowly worked him with his hand. “Fuck, tu me rends fou.”

“What?” he gasped as Sirius pulled Remus’ lower lip between his teeth.

“You drive me crazy,” Sirius translated. He brought their lips together again in a messy, haphazard kiss, their teeth clashing together slightly.

“Remus, I think I’m going to—”

Remus kept moving his hand at the same pace and watched as Sirius bucked up into it, digging his fingers in Remus’ shoulders and crying out something unintelligible in a mix of English and French in his release.

They laid there for a while, limbs entangled until finally Remus lifted his head and kissed a line up Sirius’ neck to his lips.

Sirius cupped both cheeks and pulled Remus to him, kissing him softly. “That was…”

“Mmhmm.” Remus dropped a kiss to his forehead, and Sirius hummed happily and sleepily, letting his eyes close. “Should get cleaned up,” Remus mumbled, feeling pretty sleepy himself.

Sirius groaned in protest and pulled Remus’ head back to rest on his chest.

Remus laughed. “I’m not going anywhere.” He punctuated the statement with a kiss to Sirius’ sternum. “There are washcloths in the bathroom.”

“Mmm, fine.” Sirius pressed a kiss to the top of Remus’ head then rolled out of bed to pad over to the door. “Mon chou, are you staring at my ass?”

“And all of your sexy tattoos,” he replied unapologetically, making Sirius laugh.

Sirius shook his ass slightly at him and threw him a wink before disappearing through the door, and now Remus was laughing. A minute later, Sirius returned and chucked the towel toward the hamper on his way back to his side of the bed before climbing back under the covers.

“Now come back,” Remus said with open arms. He felt his heart flutter as Sirius burrowed into his side, tangling their legs together and burying his face in his neck. He squeezed him tight and started to run his fingers through Sirius’ still slightly damp and tangled waves.

“I couldn’t find a comb earlier,” Sirius mumbled.

“I’ve got you.” Remus started to carefully work the tangles with his fingers. “So, I’m going to guess that you haven’t really eaten anything today?”

Sirius shook his head. “I’m not really hungry, though.”

“You need to eat something, love.” He pressed a kiss into the top of his head. “I can order Chinese food again?”

“And more rom-coms?”

“Whatever you want,” Remus said with another kiss to his head. He grabbed his phone off the nightstand and opened Grubhub to put in their same order as last time. “Alright, it’ll be about thirty minutes.”

“Ok.” Sirius sighed and lifted his head. “Hey, Re?”

Remus brought a hand up to brush his cheek. “Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“Of course, love.”

—

Remus padded back into the bedroom and carefully climbed back into bed. It was a Friday, so he should be working, but the moment he logged on, he’d gotten a message from James saying to take the day off and be there for Sirius, and he wasn’t going to argue with that. He snuggled close, wrapped a sweater-covered arm around Sirius’ waist, and nosed the space between his shoulder blades.

“Mmm, what time is it?” Sirius asked sleepily.

“Shh, go back to sleep, love.”

“We have work.”

“James told us to take the day off.”

“Oh, thank God,” Sirius sighed.

“How are you feeling?” Remus asked tentatively.

“Cold, body achy, and headachy,” he groaned and turned over so that they were face to face.

Remus brushed a few hairs away from his face. “Well, walking around in the rain for several hours, then drinking a bunch of whiskey will do that,” he teased gently.

“How are you not at least a little hungover?”

He kissed his forehead. “I didn’t drink as much as you did. But, the good news is that once we get some breakfast in you, we can spend the rest of the day in bed doing nothing.”

Sirius hummed and kissed him softly. “I should probably call Andi and get a ride home, though. I don’t have any clothes here or anything.”

Remus’s face fell slightly. “Is it selfish of me to say that I want you to stay?”

“No more selfish than me wanting the same thing,” Sirius replied softly.

“Having you here… it makes me feel less like I want to crawl out of my own skin. I haven’t felt this comfortable since this whole thing started. I just— you make me feel good.”

Sirius’ breath hitched, then he kissed him hard. “What if— what if I stayed?”

“I’d love that, but as you said, you don’t have any of your stuff here.”

“No— I mean— what if I quarantined here with you for a little while?”

Remus’ eyes widened, and he pulled away to study Sirius’ face.

“I know it might seem a little fast to commit to spending that much uninterrupted time together, but— I don’t know, I think it’d be nice. And I could always leave if you start to get sick of me,” Sirius explained in a rush.

“You’re serious,” Remus said in disbelief. He braced himself for the pun, but when it didn’t come, he realized just how serious Sirius was. “You’d honestly want to stay here with me?”

“I would. If you’ll have me, anyway.”

Remus blinked at him for a few moments before letting himself smile. “Ok.”

“Ok?” Sirius repeated hopefully.

“Yeah. I want you here,” Remus said firmly.

Sirius’ face lit up. “I’ll see if Andi would mind me keeping her car for a while, then. But first—”

“Breakfast?” Remus finished.

“No.” Sirius wrapped an arm around Remus’ waist, pulled him on top of him, and kissed him senseless.

“Mmmm, yeah, breakfast can wait,” Remus said, slightly dazed, before bringing his lips back to Sirius’.

* * *

** SIRIUS **

**———**

“Re!” Sirius yelped at the feeling of a pair of cold feet being wedged underneath his thigh.

“My feet are cold.” Remus pouted slightly, looking up from his work laptop. “And you’re so warm.”

Sirius softened. He was too cute. “How are your feet so cold in the middle of summer anyway? Also, how are they so cold that I can feel it through your socks and my sweat pants?”

“I told you. I have Raynaud’s,” Remus said with an air of levity. “But, honestly, that’s a pretty recent thing, and according to Mary my feet have always been what she liked to call ‘footsicles.’”

Sirius laughed. “I’d say footsicles is pretty accurate.” He rested his hand on Remus’ ankle and squeezed. “Just warn me next time you go shoving your feet under me to steal my warmth, you little heat vampire.”

Remus smiled and nodded. “Merci, mon amour.”

“You’re getting better with your pronunciation.”

“Yeah, well, it helps to have a live-in tutor,” Remus said with a wink before turning his attention back to his laptop.

He and Remus had fallen into a pretty natural rhythm over the week and a half he’d been staying there. During the day, they’d sit in comfortable silence on the couch while they worked. Then, at night, they would cuddle and watch movies or read, or have mind-blowing sex, usually both. It was like heaven. He’d never been this content with another person before.

Sirius smiled to himself and turned back to his laptop, too.

—

“Allons-y, mon chou,” Sirius said, gently nudging Remus’ shoulder. He crouched down on his side of the bed so they would be at face level.

“Sirius, not now. I’m in a lot of pain.” Remus groaned as he turned to face him.

Sirius brushed a stray curl away from his face. “I know, but getting up and moving a bit will help, I promise.”

“Sirius, just leave me alone,” Remus said in warning.

“Just a short walk to the bathroom. I ran you an Epsom salt bath. The warm water should help so you can get to sleep.”

He groaned softly and threw the covers off.

“I can try to carry you if you want?” Sirius suggested.

“No, I can walk,” Remus grumbled, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed with a wince.

Sirius stood up quickly and held out his hands. “Here, let me help you up, at least, then.” Remus reluctantly took his hands, and he guided him to a standing position before wrapping an arm around his waist to help support his weight.

“Fuck, I hate this.”

Sirius helped Remus into the bathroom and started to pluck at the hem of his jumper. “Arms up if you can.”

Remus raised his arms slightly, with another wince. Once his jumper was off, he took a look around the bathroom. “You lit candles,” he cooed.

“I wanted to make it relaxing for you,” Sirius said simply. “Now, come on, pants, too.”

“You do it. I like it better when you undress me,” Remus said, his voice still strained despite the attempt at a joke.

“Cheeky,” Sirius teased. He dropped a quick kiss to Remus’ cheek before gently pulling at his pajama bottoms and letting them fall in a puddle on the floor. “Come on, let’s get you settled,” he said once Remus had stepped out of his pants.

Remus sighed as he sank into the warm water, closing his eyes for a moment in relief.

Sirius smiled and pressed a kiss to his temple. “Just shout if you need me.” He turned to leave, but Remus made a soft sound of protest that made him turn around.

“Sirius? Stay?”

“If you want me to.”

Remus nodded, reaching his hand out as if asking for Sirius’. Sirius smiled, crouched by the tub ledge, and laced their fingers together, giving his hand a squeeze. “Join me?” Remus asked softly.

“I don’t think we’d both fit very well,” Sirius said with a laugh.

“We can squeeze?” Remus looked at him hopefully.

He leaned forward and kissed him slowly. “You need to let your body relax, and it won’t do that if I’m in there taking up all the space.”

Remus sighed, so Sirius tilted his chin to bring their lips together again. “Another time, I promise, because I do very much like the idea of having you nestled between my legs in a sea of bubbles.”

That made Remus smile. “Will you still keep me company?”

“That I can do.” He pressed one last quick kiss to the corner of Remus’ mouth before standing up. “I’ll be right back, though.”

Sirius watched Remus nod and lean his head against the tub ledge with his eyes closed before slipping through the door and making his way to the kitchen. He grabbed the stash of chocolate-covered cranberries from Remus’ freezer then grabbed an extra towel from the linen closet on his way back to the bathroom. He shut off the bathroom light, leaving them in the soft candlelight, then folded the towel into a cushion and sat on it cross-legged next to the tub near Remus’ head.

Remus’ eyes fluttered open and looked at Sirius softly. “Chocolate and candlelight? How romantic,” he said.

“Don’t make fun, or I’ll put the chocolate back,” Sirius teased, resting his arm on the tub ledge.

“I’m not making fun. I like it,” Remus promised. He lifted his hand out of the water to rest it on top of Sirius’. “And I’m not just saying that so you don’t take the chocolate away.”

Sirius leaned down to press a kiss to the back of Remus’ wet wrist, which was warm either because of the bathwater or the inflammation, he couldn’t tell which. Then they sat in silence, casually eating chocolate-covered cranberries until the bag was empty. 

“So, is the bath helping at all?” Sirius asked after a while.

“It actually is. Thank you. Not just for the bath itself but for all of this.” Remus went to gesture around the room with his free arm, but winced and dropped it back into the water. “No one has ever done something like this for me. It’s very—”

“Very?” Sirius leaned more onto the tub ledge and let Remus’ and his entwined hands slide off the edge back into the water.

“Intimate,” Remus finished, shifting to rest his head on Sirius’ bicep.

Sirius felt his heart flutter. He lowered his head to rest on top of Remus’ nuzzling his curls softly. “This is probably the most intimate thing I’ve ever done,” he admitted nervously, his voice so quiet he wasn’t sure if Remus would actually hear him.

“Me, too,” Remus whispered. He squeezed Sirius’ hand then slowly lifted it to kiss the back of his hand. “Can we go back to bed?”

“Sure, mon choupinou. Do you need help getting up?”

“No, I think I can do it. Can you just get my towel for me?”

“I can do that.” Sirius kissed the top of his head and stood up. He grabbed the towel hanging from the rod on the back of the door and turned around, waiting for Remus to pull himself up before wrapping the towel around his shoulders.

“I’ll take care of cleaning up. You just climb back into bed, ok?” Sirius ducked his head to press a kiss to Remus’ cheek, but instead, Remus caught his lips for a slightly sleepy kiss.

“Thank you,” Remus said softly, gazing up at him fondly, and almost lovingly.

Sirius’s heart fluttered again, and he found himself feeling a rush of an emotion that it was way too early to be feeling. “You’re welcome,” he whispered, his throat suddenly dry. 

Remus smiled and rested his hands on Sirius’ chest to brace himself to step over the tub ledge. “Don’t take too long,” he said before shuffling out of the bathroom.

Sirius let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and leaned down to pull the plug on the tub. He dried his hand on the hand towel and picked up the towel he’d used as a cushion and Remus’ discarded clothes to put in the hamper, then blew out the candles. He went around the rest of the apartment, shutting off lights before heading back to the bedroom, where he found Remus already in bed, his eyes closed and the covers pulled up to his chin. Sirius smiled to himself. He was so cute. And Sirius realized, not for the first time, that he had it so bad for this boy, and fuck if that wasn’t terrifying. He shook his head and told himself not to dwell on it, then threw the dirty laundry in the hamper and shut off the lights so he could climb into bed.

“You were right,” Remus mumbled sleepily.

“About what?” Sirius asked, rolling to his side to face him.

Remus rolled to face him, too, and laced their hands together between them. “About the bath helping me be able to get to sleep. I’m exhausted.”

Sirius chuckled softly and brushed his lips against Remus’ knuckles. “It’s ok. Go to sleep.”

Remus hummed and scooted closer. “Bonne nuit, mon amour.”

Sirius draped an arm over Remus’ waist and tucked their clasped hands under his chin. “Bonne nuit.”

It didn’t take long for Sirius to feel Remus’ breathing even out, letting him know that he was most likely asleep. Sirius was close to falling asleep, too, but something was keeping him awake.

“Hey, Re?” Sirius whispered, and waited for a possible response. Nothing. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes to peek at Remus’ face, so soft while he was sleeping. “Je pense que je tombe amoureux de toi.” _I think I’m falling for you._

—

Sirius stirred to the sound of soft whimpering. He blinked his eyes open to see Remus curled into a ball, his face contorted into a painful grimace. He shifted closer and reached out rub his hand comfortingly along Remus’ upper arm. “Remus?”

Remus looked up. “Sirius, I don’t want you to freak out, but I think I need to go to the emergency room.”

Sirius felt his heart stop. “What? Are you ok? Sorry, dumb question. If you were alright, you wouldn’t need to go to the emergency room. What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Sirius, please,” Remus said wearily, “I need you to stay calm. I’ve got some chest pain. I’ve felt something like it before, so I’m pretty sure I know what it is, but I should still go to the doctor just to make sure.”

Sirius took a deep breath and held it. “Ok, yeah, ok. We can go.” He ran his hand up to Remus’ cheek and studied his face for a moment, worried. “You stay right here while I put some clothes on, ok?”

“I can get up,” Remus said. He tried to take a deep breath but winced.

“Just give me a minute. I’ll help you get dressed. Just— give me a minute, alright, mon chou?” Sirius pressed a quick kiss to Remus’ forehead then scrambled out of bed and dove for his duffle bag. He quickly swapped his sweatpants out for jeans and found some socks and slipped them on. He threw his hair up into a messy bun then started rifling through Remus’ drawers for a pair of real pants for him to wear.

He sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed Remus’ back. “Remus? Do you think you can sit up?”

Remus rolled over and slowly pushed himself into a seated position. “Sirius, can you please stop looking at me like that? I’ll be fine.”

Sirius shook his head and tried to put on a neutral expression. “I got you some pants.”

“Thank you.” Remus climbed out of bed and swapped his flannel pants for a pair of corduroys.

Sirius stood and rested his hands gently on Remus’ waist. “I’ll bring the car around, alright?”

Remus nodded, and Sirius pressed a quick kiss to his forehead before leaving the bedroom.

* * *

** REMUS **

**———**

“Mr. Lupin?” 

Remus was only vaguely aware of his surroundings since he’d been fading in and out of sleep for the last few hours. He felt someone shake his arm, and he opened his eyes to see Sirius. 

“Re, the nurse is back,” Sirius whispered. His voice was tight, his eyes were wide with fear and worry. 

Remus groaned and turned his head to look at the nurse whose name he couldn’t remember. “Sorry, what were you saying?” 

“The X-ray and ECG came back, and it looks like there’s a considerable amount of inflammation in your pericardium,” the nurse told him. “Based on your history, it’s safe to say this was brought on by your Rheumatoid Arthritis—” 

“He’s going to be ok, though, right?” Sirius asked. 

Remus could hear the tapping of his foot on the ground and gritted his teeth. Sirius’ leg had been bouncing since a nurse had led them back to their curtained-off section of the emergency room, and it was really starting to set Remus off. He turned his head to send Sirius a weary look. 

Sirius wasn’t looking at him, though. His eyes were trained on the nurse, waiting for her reply. 

“Is this your roommate?” the nurse asked Remus. 

“Well, not technically. He’s my—” Remus stopped short, unsure of what to say. 

“I’m his boyfriend,” Sirius finished, reaching to take Remus’ hand. 

_Boyfriend._ They’d never actually discussed what they were calling their relationship, but maybe the whole ‘boyfriend’ thing was sort of implied if they were quarantining together for the past almost-two weeks as they had been. The easy way the term had slipped off Sirius’ tongue should have made him feel giddy, but it didn’t. Not under the circumstances. 

“Well, we’re going to need to admit him for the night to keep an eye on the inflammation, but that’s just as a precaution,” the nurse told Sirius calmly. “I just need to get a little more information from you, Mr. Lupin, and then we can get you moved up to a room.” 

Sirius’ hand tightened around Remus,’ and his leg started to bounce more rapidly until Remus couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Sirius, can you stop? The foot-tapping is driving me nuts,” Remus said as he pulled his hand out of Sirius’ grasp to pinch the bridge of his nose. 

Sirius’ body went still for a moment, much to Remus’ relief. “Sorry, Re,” he said sheepishly. 

Remus sighed. “It’s ok. Can you just”— 

“Whatever you need, Remus,” Sirius said quickly. 

“Can you call my dad and let him know what’s going on? You can call him on my phone. I just know he’d kill me if I didn’t let him know where I was and that I’m alright.” 

“Of course, Re.” 

“You can just step on the other side of this curtain, sir,” the nurse told Sirius as she began to take Remus’ vitals again for the intake paperwork. 

Sirius squeezed Remus’ hand and then let go to step on the other side of the curtain to call his dad. 

“Mr. Lupin? I’m sorry to bother you so late—” Sirius started in a hushed voice— “Oh, yes, Remus is alright. Well, sort of, we’re at the hospital, but he’s going to be— He’s with a nurse right now. They’re getting ready to admit him for observation, he wanted me to call you to fill you in— Oh! Right, sorry. My name is Sirius. I’m Remus’— I’m a friend of his.” 

Remus flinched at Sirius’ almost slip, but he wasn’t able to dwell on it too long because the nurse started asking him more questions. 

“Have you been experiencing any prolonged symptoms over the past few days?” she asked. 

“I started having a flare-up around this time last night,” Remus told her. “And I’ve been feeling fatigued for the past few days.” 

The nurse nodded. “Any shortness of breath?” 

Remus nodded. “That too.” 

“Alright. Well, it’s a good thing you came in when you did. I’m not sure that an over-the-counter anti-inflammatory would work to bring down the inflammation. The doctor wants to put you on some corticosteroids as well as an antibiotic to combat the bacteria. We’re going to need to keep you until the inflammation goes down, just to be sure that it doesn’t spread into your lungs.” 

Remus nodded. “Yeah, I figured,” he said matter-of-factly. 

The nurse continued to fill out the admission paperwork on the computer stationed in the room, which meant that Remus could go back to listening in on Sirius’ conversation with his dad. 

“Yes, sir, I’ll keep you updated.— Yes, I’ll tell him.— Goodnight, sir.” Sirius hung up and stepped back through the curtain, sitting back down in the armchair by Remus’ bedside. 

“Alright, Mr. Lupin, you’re all set. Another nurse will be back in a few minutes to escort you up,” the nurse said. 

“Can I go with him?” Sirius piped up quickly before she was able to leave the makeshift room. 

“That’s up to Mr. Lupin. But, yes, that would be allowed.” And with that, the nurse was gone. 

“You don’t have to stay,” Remus said. 

“Remus, of course, I’m staying. I should— Someone should be here to make sure you’re ok,” Sirius said with a hint of uncertainty. 

“I’ll be fine. This wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been in a hospital by myself.” 

Sirius gave him a sad look, which made his heart hurt more than it already did from the inflammation surrounding it. He knew that look. He hated that look. It was the look of fear and pity, one he’d gotten so used to seeing on the people he let into his life whenever something like this happened. 

“Who would take you home?” Sirius asked. 

“I could call someone when I get discharged, like last time,” Remus replied. 

Sirius shook his head firmly. “I should stay,” then his voice softened, “Please let me stay?” 

Remus sighed and nodded, unwilling to fight the issue anymore. He was too damn tired. “Yeah, you can stay.” 

— 

Remus was in the hospital for a day and another night before the doctors were confident that the inflammation had gone down enough to let him go home. Despite Remus’ constant assurances that he could go home to get some real sleep, Sirius had stayed with him the entire time. But finally, about thirty-six hours after Remus had been admitted to this hospital, he was able to leave. 

The car ride back to his apartment was silent except for the low hum of the radio. Remus was too exhausted to speak, and thankfully Sirius didn’t force a conversation as he had been over the past day and a half. Even during a pandemic, LA traffic was awful during the daytime, so it took about double the time to get home from the hospital as it had to get there. Sirius pulled into a free parking spot on the street in front of Remus’ apartment, looped his mask around his ears, and quickly got out of the car. Remus unbuckled his seatbelt, put his mask on, and was just about to open the passenger side door when it was pulled open by Sirius. 

“Here, let me help you, Re,” Sirius said, extending a hand out to help Remus climb out of the car. 

Remus braced himself on the door frame and climbed out of the car, ignoring Sirius’ hand. “I’ve got it,” he said wearily. He managed to stand upright, although it took a while, and turned to slam the car door shut when he winced at the movement. 

Sirius wrapped an arm around Remus’ waist and closed the door for him. “Come on, let’s get you inside.” 

Remus sighed and reluctantly leaned into Sirius’ side as they slowly walked to the automatic gate leading to his building’s courtyard. 

“Give me your keys, and I’ll get the gate,” Sirius said gently. 

“I’m capable of opening a gate, Sirius,” Remus said firmly. He fished the keys out of his pocket and scanned the fob that buzzed the gate open. Sirius pulled on the handle and held it open for Remus to walk through, then immediately wrapped his arm around Remus’ waist again. Remus bristled slightly but didn’t fight it. It wasn’t worth it. All he wanted was to crawl into bed. Just a few more steps and he would be in his apartment where he could wash his hands and face, change into pajamas, and sleep for at least thirty hours. 

“Do you need anything, Re?” Sirius asked as he helped Remus get into bed and under the covers. 

“I’m fine,” Remus said, trying to keep his voice even. 

“Are you sure? Are you hungry or anything?” 

“Sirius, I told you, I’m fine,” he snapped, finally unable to take Sirius’ fussing anymore. Sirius pulled back and gave him a hurt look, which he felt bad about, but he couldn’t stand Sirius fussing over him anymore. 

“Ok, I’m sorry,” Sirius said quietly. 

“Look, I’m exhausted. I can’t sleep in hospitals, and I just want to get some sleep, ok?” Remus explained wearily. 

“I understand, Re. I didn’t sleep either. We can just go to sleep.” 

“No, I mean— Maybe it would be best if you went back home for a while. I think I just need some time to rest.” 

“Are you sure you don’t need me here?” Sirius asked. 

“I’ll be fine on my own. I always am.” He probably always would be. 

“Ok,” Sirius whispered. “Can I grab a quick shower before I go, so I’m not bringing hospital germs back to Andi’s?” 

“Of course.” 

Remus turned over and curled up to try to go to sleep. He felt Sirius stroke his hair lightly before leaving the room. He heard the shower kick on, then off again sometime later. He heard Sirius rustling around the room as he got dressed and packed up his stuff. 

Then, he felt Sirius sit back on the edge of the bed and rest a hand on his shoulder. “Re?” 

Remus squeezed his eyes shut tighter and stayed still, pretending to be asleep, although he wasn’t sure he was particularly convincing. 

“I’ll lock the handle behind me,” Sirius said before brushing a kiss to his temple. Remus’ breath hitched. “Bye, mon amour.” 

Remus held his breath until he heard the front door click shut, then let it out in a shuddering exhale. He curled his knees into his chest and pressed his forehead to his knees. “Fuck.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **French Translations:**  
>   
>  **Tu as tellement bon goût.** \- You taste so good


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Coming out

** SIRIUS **

**———**

Sirius shut and locked the door behind him. He kicked his shoes off but left his mask on since he just came from a hospital.

“Ted, do you need help bringing—” Andi stopped short when she rounded the corner from the kitchen. “Siri, what are you doing here?”

“Uh, I live here?” Sirius said flatly.

“I mean: what are you doing here instead of at Remus’? Didn’t he just get out of the hospital?” Andi asked.

“He got discharged around noon, and now he’s at home resting. I’m going to go to my room.” He quickly sidestepped Andi, careful to keep his distance, and went up the stairs to his room.

“Hang on,” she said, following him. “That didn’t answer my first question.”

“He wanted some rest.” Sirius continued to his on-suite bathroom so he could wash his hands.

“Please tell me you didn’t just abandon him,” she pled with disapproval.

“Andi,” he warned.

“Well, I just don’t understand why you’re not with him right now. He’s your boyfriend, right? You’re supposed to be taking care of—”

“He wanted to be alone, ok?” he snapped.

“Did he say that or did you assume that so that you could run away like you tend to—”

“Yes! He said exactly that, Andi!” he shouted. “He looked me right in the eye and told me that he’d be just fine on his own and that I should come back here.”

“Siri?”

Sirius froze when he heard Dora’s voice from the doorway. He hadn’t meant to scream like that, he was just so tired. Tired, scared, and hurt. He hadn’t slept for more than three hours in the past two days, and he felt like he hadn’t been able to properly breathe since he woke up to the sound of Remus whimpering in pain next to him. And then there was the look on Remus’ face when he basically kicked him out. That look of cold detachment.

“Is everything alright?” Dora asked, looking between Sirius and her mom.

“Everything is fine,” Sirius said, forcing a smile.

“Why are you guys shouting?” Dora continued, clearly not buying his lie.

“Siri’s just having a bad day, sweetheart,” Andi said gently.

“Would a hug help?” Dora asked, starting to walk over to Sirius.

“Andi, peux-tu la faire sortir d'ici?” he implored. “Je viens de rentrer de l'hôpital et je ne veux pas vous rendre malade.”

Dora stopped short and stared up at him. “L’hôpital?” She looked frantically at her mom. “That’s ‘hospital,’ right? Why was Siri in a hospital? Is he ok? He was with Remus, is Remus ok?”

Sirius shoved his hands through his hair. “Andi, s’il te plaît?” he begged.

Andi looked at him sympathetically before taking Dora by the hand. “Come on, sweetheart. Siri and Remus are both alright, don’t worry. Siri needs to be alone for a few days, so we’re all safe, ok? Like he did when he first came back from Italy.”

Andi shut the door behind her, and then he was alone. He collapsed onto the bed face first and let out a strangled groan into his pillow.

* * *

** JAMES **

**———**

**SIRIUS**

7/25/2020 - 8:32 AM

_So how is Remus doing?_

**_I think he’s doing alright. He’s resting at home, but  
_ ** **_I haven’t heard from him._ **

_Wait, you’re not with him right now?_

**_He wanted to some time by himself so he told me  
_ ** **_to go back to Andi’s._ **

_And you listened to him?_

**_What was I supposed to do Jamie?_ ** ****

**_Ignore him and set up camp in his living room?_ **

_You did exactly that when I got the flu at school._

**_This is different._ **

_How? Because you’re sleeping together?_

_Did something happen? Did you guys break up?_

**_I don’t know, ok_ ** ****

**_I don’t know what to tell you Jamie. He didn’t  
_ ** **_want me there so I left. I got scared and he  
_ ** **_snapped at me and I ran ok? I bolted at the first  
_ ** **_sign of trouble just like I always do. Things started  
_ ** **_to get hard and I couldn’t handle it so I ran the  
_ ** **_first opportunity he gave me. I’m a coward. Is that  
_ ** **_what you want to hear?_ **

_Sirius I know you were probably scared, trust me,  
_ _I’ve been sitting in that ER waiting room before too,  
_ _but that doesn’t mean you’re a coward._

_Have you at least talked to him?_

_Sirius?_

_—_

James sighed and let his phone fall to his chest.

“Let me guess, Sirius isn’t talking either?” Lily said, turning over in bed to face him.

James mirrored her. “You’ve heard from Remus? How is he doing?”

“He just texted me. He said he’s at home resting. He’s exhausted, of course, but otherwise, he seems ok.”

“Did he say what happened between him and Sirius?”

“No. Honestly, I don’t think he would have even mentioned that Sirius wasn’t there with him if I hadn’t asked outright about him. Even then, all he said was that Sirius went home.” Lily sighed. “I hate the idea of him being at home all alone.”

He reached a hand out between them to link their fingers together. “What do you think happened?”

“You know Remus. He probably pushed Sirius away, because that’s what he likes to try to do when he doesn’t want people fussing over him,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, and I know Sirius. He was probably making a big fuss. But that doesn’t track with what Sirius said. Here, look.” James unlocked his phone and handed it to Lily for her to read.

“That’s all he said?”

“He stopped answering me.”

“Yeah, Remus is ignoring me, too. I tried texting Mary to see if she’d heard from him…” she trailed off.

“And?” he prompted.

“Either she hasn’t either, or she isn’t giving me any information to try to respect Remus’ privacy,” she said flatly.

“My money is on the first one,” James said.

“Mine, too.” She sighs again, then scoots closer, and he wraps his arms around her narrow shoulders in response. “Should we do something?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, something to get them to talk? At least to us. They both tend to bottle things up and… I don’t know. I know they haven’t really known each other very long, but…”

“They seemed like a good fit,” he finished for her.

“Yeah, they did,” she agreed.

“I’ve literally never seen Sirius light up the way he did when he saw Remus. And he was so giddy when he called me from the car after their first date. It reminded me…”

“Of our first date when you called Sirius and woke him up in the middle of the night, babbling about how you were going to marry me one day?” Lily looked up at him with soft eyes and a teasing smile on her face.

“How—?” he stuttered. He’d never told her that before. Which meant—

“Sirius told me when he gave me the ‘you break my best friend’s heart and I’ll kill you,’ speech.” She tilted her chin up to press a soft kiss to his lips.

James laughed. “When was that?”

“When we went to visit him in New York that summer before senior year, and we took that trip upstate so you two could show me around Hogwarts.” She smiled as he kissed her again.

“I remember that trip,” he said fondly. “So, what are you thinking? I mean, do you really think we could do anything to help? They aren’t talking to us, and we can’t exactly trick them into a room together in the middle of a quarantine.”

“Well, Remus isn’t talking to Mary or me, and Sirius isn’t talking to you, but maybe if we swapped? It might throw them off enough to get them to talk to us,” Lily suggested.

“And if they talk to us, then maybe we can convince them to talk to each other,” he finished.

“Exactly.”

“I knew I married you for a reason.” James smiled and pressed a kiss to Lily’s forehead.

“And why is that?” she teased.

“You’re way smarter than me,” he kissed her lightly, “and completely out of my league. Had to lock you down before you came to your senses.”

She laughed and snuggled closer. “James Potter, you ridiculous man.”

“You married me.”

“And I’d do it again.”

“You get to next year,” he reminded her.

“That’s right, I do.” She pressed a kiss to the hollow of his neck. “Lucky me.”

“Nah, that would be me,” James argued playfully, then pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “So, should we wait before we try talking some sense into our friends?”

Lily nodded, her hair brushing against the underside of his chin. “Let’s give them a few days to sit and stew. It’ll give them time to miss each other.”

“Good idea, sweetie.” He nuzzled the top of her head, making her hum softly. “Do you want breakfast?”

“Pancakes?” she muttered against his neck.

“You’ve got it.”

* * *

** REMUS **

**———**

Remus rolled over and checked the time. Three PM. He’d only meant to go back to sleep for another hour after texting Lily, but that hour had apparently turned into seven. He had several texts from her and Mary, and a missed call from his dad. He could ignore the texts, but he knew he should call his dad back; otherwise, he would worry about him. So Remus sat up with a groan and propped himself up on his pillows.

The phone didn’t ring long before his dad’s voice rang through the phone, the Oregon accent sounding much thicker than Remus’ was, “Lyall Lupin speaking.”

“Hey, Dad,” Remus said, forcing a cheerful tone into his voice.

“How are you feeling, kiddo?” Lyall asked, sympathetically, as if he was able to see straight through Remus’ facade.

Remus sighed. “Tired, but better. Thankfully, I’ve got the rest of the weekend to recover before I have to work on Monday.”

“Good. Make sure you’re taking it easy, alright? And make sure you don’t forget to go get a COVID test in a few days—”

“I know, Dad. I’ve got it under control,” Remus said irritably.

“Sorry, sorry. I know you do. I just worry. It’s my job, you know,” Lyall said fondly.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m just tired,” Remus apologized.

There was a silent pause, then Lyall spoke again. “So, is your friend with you? The one that called from the hospital.”

“Sirius,” Remus supplied.

“Yes, Sirius. Did he stay to keep an eye on you?” Lyall asked.

“Uhhh, no, he went home once he took me home from the hospital,” Remus faltered.

“You’ve never mentioned him before. Is he a new friend?”

“He’s an old friend of James. He moved to LA pretty recently and started working at the publishing company with me,” Remus explained, keeping details as vague as possible.

“Ah, well, I like him. He seems like a very close friend, taking you to the emergency room and staying with you the whole time as he did,” Lyall mused.

Remus dry swallowed. “Uh, yeah, he’s a good friend.” He took a deep breath to try to control the shaking in his voice.

“He seemed like a nice young man from the brief conversation we had on the phone. It sounds like he really cares about you.” There was something in his tone that Remus didn’t quite recognize, but it almost sounded as if he was hinting at something.

Remus murmured something unintelligible in agreement. He felt his heart beating hard against his chest, and he couldn’t tell if it was from the nerves or the inflammation.

“Remus, son— It’s alright. I know,” Lyall said softly.

“Dad?” he croaked.

“Your mother, before she died,” Lyall started tentatively, “She didn’t mean to let it slip what you told her, you have to know that. She would never have knowingly betrayed your trust, but she was on a lot of medication, and she wasn’t always— Well, you remember; she wasn’t always the most present of mind toward the end.”

Remus squeezed his eyes shut and pulled his knees into his chest. His dad knew. Remus thought back to all of the times that he and his dad had ever talked about his love life. All of the times that Remus had been so careful to stay ambiguous about pronouns when he’d been seeing a guy, Lyall had been ambiguous, too, any time he asked. It had always been ‘Are you seeing any new people?’ or ‘When can I expect you to bring someone back for Christmas?’ He’d known the whole time but never said anything.

“I’m sorry, dad. I didn’t mean to lie, I just—” Remus’ breath hitched.

“It’s ok, kiddo. You weren’t ready, and I know you and your mother had a different relationship than you and I do. It’s alright. You don’t need to apologize,” Lyall assured him.

“No, I— I wasn’t even ready to tell Mom. I was barely figuring it out, but I didn’t want—” Remus let out another choked sob.

“Shhh, it’s alright. I understand. I knew you’d tell me when you were ready. I thought that maybe—” Lyall took a shaky breath that had Remus wondering if he was crying, too, “Maybe having Sirius call was your way of telling me. I’m assuming that Sirius is more than just a friend, is that right?”

Remus wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater. “Yeah, he is. Although, I’m not so sure about that anymore,” he admitted with a sniff.

Lyall hummed softly. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“He was here when I started having chest pain. I told him I needed to go to the hospital, and he looked so panicked. I told him that he didn’t need to worry, but he has no poker face, and I could read him like a book basically. Then, when we got home… I just wanted to be alone.”

“Did you ask him to leave because you wanted to be alone or because you were afraid?”

“I was so tired, and I just wanted to sleep, and he just kept—and then I—” Remus let out a frustrated groan. “I snapped. I don’t need people treating me like I’m made of glass. Yes, I’m sick, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take care of myself. He was suffocating me, Dad.”

“You pushed him away,” Lyall said wisely.

“I didn’t— I just don’t need someone freaking out every time something happens. I can’t— I couldn’t stand Sirius looking at me the way he was. The entire time I was in the hospital, he just kept looking at me with such pity and worry, and I couldn’t handle it. I hate it when people look at me like that. Like I’m something broken that needs to be fixed.”

“Well, of course, he was worried about you, Remus. The boy clearly cares a great deal about you,” Lyall countered.

“How would you know that?”

“I heard it in his voice when he called. Call it an old man’s intuition, but I know what someone in love sounds like,” Lyall said wisely.

“You aren’t that old, Dad,” Remus said flatly, choosing to gloss over the ‘love’ idea.

“Fine, then dad’s intuition. Either way, that boy loves you.”

“How could he? We haven’t even known each other for that long. We only met four months ago, and our first date was only a few weeks ago. Sure, we’ve spent a lot of time together since then, I mean he was kind of quarantining with me here for the past two weeks—” He stopped short and realized he’d said a little too much.

“You were quarantining together?” Lyall asked skeptically.

“He got a COVID test and tested negative before he ever stepped into my apartment, don’t worry,” Remus said quickly.

“Well, I’m glad to hear that, son, but that’s not why I’m surprised. I’m surprised because that sounds pretty serious for ‘not even knowing each other for that long,’” he quoted.

“I know. It was probably way too fast, but I couldn’t help it. I just wanted to spend more time with him, and with the pandemic that was going to be hard and—” Remus shook his head. “He was the first one to suggest it, but that doesn’t mean he loves me. I mean, if he hadn’t I probably was going to at some point— And it’s only been four months.”

“You asked how he could possibly love you after only four months… It’s pretty clear hearing you talk that you feel that way about him, so it’s not a stretch that he feels the same way,” Lyall said matter-of-factly. “So the question is, why did you push him away?”

“You didn’t see the look on his face, Dad. When he woke up and told him I needed to go to the emergency room, he looked so… scared. I can’t put someone through that. No one deserves to be put through that.” Remus took a deep breath and let it out shakily.

“Remus, you can’t make decisions for people on whether they want to be in your life or not. Even if you think it’s to protect them, it’s not fair to them.” Lyall paused for a moment to let his words sink in before continuing. “I understand that it’s scary to let someone in, but with the right person, it’s also rewarding. And worth it.”

“I just— I don’t know.”

“I’ll just say this last thing, and then I’ll drop it: You deserve to be happy.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Remus said quietly.

“I love you, kiddo.”

“I love you, too.” He bit his lip nervously. “And, Dad?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you for being supportive about me— well, you know.”

“It makes no difference to me who you love. Or don’t love, that’d be ok, too. All I want is for you to be happy. I’d support you no matter what,” Lyall said sincerely. “Now go get some more rest. You sound exhausted.”

“I will. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“I’m holding you to that. You don’t call me nearly enough,” he teased.

Remus laughed softly. “Bye, Dad.”

—

**MARY**

7/30/2020 - 5:15 PM

**_Hey, it’s been a few days and I’ve tried to give you  
_ ** **_space, but I need you to answer your phone now._ ** ****

**_I have something I need to talk to you about._ **

_Is everything ok?_

**_HE ANSWERS._ ** ****

**_Yes, everything is fine. Better than fine, actually. I  
_ ** **_just figured that you might answer if I made it  
_ ** **_sound severely important._ **

_Rude. You worried me for a moment there._

**_Yeah, well now you know how I feel. You tell me  
_ ** **_you were in the hospital, then check out for nearly  
_ ** **_a week._ ** ****

**_You know Lily has been texting me and she’s super  
_ ** **_worried about you? James and Marlene, too._ ** ****

**_And can you PLEASE tell me what the hell  
_ ** **_happened between you and Sirius? You guys had  
_ ** **_some sort of fight? At least that’s what I got from  
_ ** **_Lily._ **

_I’m sorry for checking out. It’s been a rough week,  
_ _not that I’m excusing it. I pushed you away, pushed  
_ _everyone away, really, and I need to be better about  
_ _that. It’s one of the things I’m going to work on, I  
_ _promise. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking this week,  
_ _and I realize that I need to make some changes._

**_Ok, I’m loving this self-realization thing it seems  
_ ** **_like you’ve got going on, but I think I need you to  
_ ** **_start from the beginning. I need context._ ** ****

**_I’m calling you._ **

—

Remus’ phone started to ring, and he quickly answered. “Hey,” he croaked, before clearing his throat. “Sorry, hi.”

“Flare-up?” Mary asked, skipping a greeting.

“No, just haven’t spoken out loud in a few days,” Remus said dismissively.

“Alright, well, you’re gonna talk now. Go,” Mary demanded.

“Wait, you had something you wanted to talk about. Can we do that first before we get into my mess of a life?”

“You’re not going trying to get out of filling me in, are you?” she asked skeptically.

“No, I know better than that,” he teased. “But it sounds important, and I’m really curious.”

Mary sighed. “Alright, but I’m going to preface this by saying that I wanted to wait to tell you, but then Em reminded me that you would probably murder me if I didn’t tell you right away.”

“I’m going to murder you if you don’t hurry it up.”

“Ok, ok,” Mary said defensively. “Well, do you remember how I was starting to go ring shopping before all of this pandemic shit started, so I had to put those plans on hold?”

“Yeah. Hang on, did you propose? Did you propose and not tell me beforehand?! I might murder you anyway! Mary!”

Mary laughed. “I didn’t propose! Emmeline beat me to it.”

“Wait, really?!” Remus exclaimed. “You’re affianced?”

She laughed excitedly. “I’m affianced. Or ‘engaged’ as normal people would say.”

He beamed at the phone, despite Mary not being able to see him. “Oh, Mar, I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks, Rem,” she chirped.

“Why were you going to wait to tell me?”

“Well,” she started tentatively, “I didn’t want to rub anything in your face seeing as I have no idea what happened between you and Sirius.”

“Just because my love life is a mess right now, doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be excited for you. You’re my best friend,” he said seriously.

“Yeah, I know. But speaking of best friendship, I had a question for you,” she said giddily.

“What?”

“Would you do me the honor of being my person of honor?”

“Me?” he asked in disbelief. “But, you have a sister for that.”

“A sister that is still in high school,” Mary pointed out. “She’ll still be a bridesmaid, but I can’t imagine having anyone else be my best person.”

Remus smiled. “Does this mean I have to throw you a bridal shower?”

“And a bachelorette party,” she added. “I expect strippers.”

“I’ll begin my research right away,” he deadpanned.

“Alright, so now it’s your turn. Spill.”

Remus sighed. “Ok, well, the short version is that I kicked Sirius out of my apartment once I got home from the hospital, I came out to my dad, and he gave me some classic dad advice, and now I’ve spent the past week re-evaluating my life.”

“Wait, you came out to Lyall?” she gasped. “You kicked Sirius out? Alright, I need the long version. Start with the Sirius thing.”

He took a deep breath and started to relay everything that happened between the morning of his bad flare-up and the afternoon Sirius left.

“Oh, Remus,” Mary cooed. “The bath. That sounds so romantic.”

“It really was.” Remus smiled softly. “I mean, it would have been more romantic if I hadn’t been in an excruciating amount of pain, and he’d been in the bath with me instead of sitting on the floor outside of the tub. Still, it was so sweet.” His smile fell. “Then, less than 24 hours later, I kick him out of my apartment when he was just trying to help. Even worse than that, I pretended to be asleep when he left, and I’m pretty sure he knew I was pretending.”

“Remus,” Mary scolded. “I love you, but dick move, dude.”

Remus groaned. “I know, I know. I was scared. I saw how scared he was for me when we were in the hospital, and I didn’t want to put him through that again. I wanted to protect him, which isn’t fair to him, and I know that now, but in the moment…”

“You thought pushing him away would be easier than letting him in.”

“I didn’t want him to worry about me. That’s what being with me would be like. Days where I can’t get out of bed because I’m in too much pain and trips to the hospital. I don’t know if I can put him through that constant worry.”

“That’s not really only your decision, though,” Mary countered.

“My dad said the same thing,” he admitted. “He told me that I can’t keep choosing for people whether they get to love me or not.”

“Lyall Lupin. I love that man,” Mary said. “So, how did your dad react to you coming out? How did you come out? And why now?”

“Well,” Remus said slowly, “this is the funny thing. He already knew. He asked me about Sirius because when I went into the emergency room, I had Sirius call him to let him know because I was too tired at the time to deal with it. Anyway, my dad said that it sounded like Sirius is a close friend and cares about me a great deal— and of course I’m panicking—”

“Of course you were,” Mary echoed.

“Then he let me off the hook and said he’s known the whole time. Apparently, my mom let it slip due to all of the drugs she was on,” he let out a slow breath. “So, I guess he’s been supportive this whole time, I just never even knew.”

“That is the most Lupin thing I have ever heard. That tracks so much,” she said with a laugh. “So, what else did your dad say?”

Remus bit his lip, unsure if he should even mention what his dad said about Sirius loving him. The idea of it was absolutely crazy. There was no way. It was too soon. But no matter how hard he tried to shake the thought, he couldn’t. He’d spent the past five days turning over the words in his head, wondering, and even scarier, hoping they were true. “He said he thinks Sirius is in love with me,” he whispered finally. If he could talk about how he was feeling with anyone, it was Mary.

“Really?”

“He said he could hear it in his voice.”

“Well, I’ve never met or talked to Sirius, so I don’t know what to say about that, but I do know one thing for sure: you’re in love with him,” she said matter-of-factly.

“I—I’ve only known him four months. What if it’s not real?”

“So? Just because it’s early doesn’t mean it’s not real. I mean, look at Emmeline and me. We fell into the lesbian stereotype and moved in together after only five months, yet here we are three years later, happy as clams and planning a big old gay wedding.”

“I know you’re right. I’m just…”

“Scared?” Mary finished.

“I’ve never felt this way before, which is just so crazy because I’ve been in love before, or I thought I have been. But this is different.” Remus pulled his knees into his chest. “Mary, what if I screwed up? I haven’t heard from him since he left. What if he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore?”

“Rem, he’s probably sitting at his cousin’s house thinking the same thing about you. He’s probably too scared to reach out.”

“You think?”

“I do. But, I also think you need to tell Sirius how you feel regardless,” Mary said.

“You’re probably right,” Remus said with a sigh.

“Look, I have to go. Em and I have a Zoom call with our parents to tell them the news, but I love you, and I believe in you.”

“Love you, too, Mar. And I’m really happy for you.”

Remus hung up the phone and let out a long sigh. Mary was right, he needed to talk to Sirius, but he had no idea what to say. His phone chirped with a text message, and he quickly looked at it to see James’ name across his screen.

* * *

** SIRIUS **

**———**

**LILY**

7/30/2020 - 5:30 PM

**_I just thought I’d let you know that Remus is  
_ ** **_feeling a lot better, in case you were wondering._ **

_Good. I’m glad he’s feeling better._

_I was worried about him._

**_If you were worried about him then why haven’t  
_ ** **_you talked to him yourself?_ **

_Lily, please._

_I don’t want to talk about it._

**_Well, too bad. James and I have tried to give you  
_ ** **_space to fix things on your own, but clearly neither  
_ ** **_of you have done that. Remus STILL isn’t  
_ ** **_answering me, so now you’re going to because I  
_ ** **_swear to God, you may be my husband’s best  
_ ** **_friend, but I will still end you if you hurt Remus  
_ ** **_because he’s MY best friend._ ** ****

**_So, spill._ **

_Damn, Lils._

**_You gave me the same talk, so don’t even pretend  
_ ** **_to be shocked._ **

_That’s true, I did. But I knew you would never hurt  
_ _Jamie, so I knew I wouldn’t have to follow through._

_You might have to follow through with your threats  
_ _because I fucked up._

**_What happened? Threats aside._ **

_I ran. Things got hard, and I ran, just like I always  
_ _do._

**_I’m going to need more than that._ **

_UGH._

_I don’t really know, ok? I freaked the hell out. I  
_ _mean, I was worrying about him most of the day  
_ _because he was having a really bad flare-up, so I  
_ _tried to be nice and run him a bath, and that  
_ _actually seemed to help so I thought everything  
_ _was fine, but then I woke up in the middle of the  
_ _night to him whimpering in pain and he just looked  
_ _so…_

_And I didn’t know what to do. I was freaking out.  
_ _But I took him to the hospital and I stayed with him  
_ _the entire time. THEN, we got home and I was  
_ _trying to help him, but then he snapped at me so I  
_ _left like the coward that I am._

**_Did you run away or did he tell you to leave?  
_ ** **_Because you told James that he told you to leave._ **

_He did, but the first thing I felt after the initial hurt  
_ _was relief. He gave me an out and I took it._

_In the back of my head the entire time I kept  
_ _thinking “Fuck I just want to get out of here.” I  
_ _stayed with him in the hospital because I knew  
_ _that’s what I was supposed to do, but part of me  
_ _really didn’t want to be there. I don’t even know  
_ _why I wanted to run._

**_It was a scary situation. It’s understandable if you  
_ ** **_were stressed out. I was the first time I saw Remus  
_ ** **_going through a flare-up. But being scared doesn’t  
_ ** **_mean that you’re a coward._ **

_Doesn’t it? Why is my first instinct always to run  
_ _away from my problems?_

_I ran off to Ireland for college to get away from my  
_ _parents, I ran and hid in Europe for 3 years when  
_ _Reg died, I ran out when Andi told me that my  
_ _mother had died._

**_Except that time you ran TO Remus. So that’s  
_ ** **_something._ **

_Except it didn’t mean much apparently, because I  
_ _ran away from him when things got tough. I was  
_ _just so worried that I was going to lose him. And  
_ _then I ran and ended up losing him anyway._

_It’s like Caradoc all over again._

**_Ok, I never asked, but what happened with  
_ ** **_Caradoc? I know you guys broke up before you  
_ ** **_started backpacking through Europe, but what  
_ ** **_happened?_ **

_We didn’t break up before Europe. We broke up  
_ _BECAUSE of Europe._

_When I got the news about Reg, I closed off. I  
_ _stopped talking to him. It was during finals, so he  
_ _thought it was just the stress of that, but then he  
_ _found the obituary. He went to my apartment to  
_ _find me and try to be there for me, but I wasn’t  
_ _there. I’d already packed up the essentials in my  
_ _duffle, and sent anything else back to the States to  
_ _James._

**_You didn’t tell him you were leaving?_ **

_No, I didn’t. He found me at the train station before  
_ _I left and_

_Well it was a shit show._

_And I regret it I really do, but now I’m doing the  
_ _same thing now with Remus._

_How can I expect someone to love me back when I  
_ _keep running away?_

**_Do you love Remus?_ **

_I think maybe I do. Is that crazy?_

_Is it too early for that?_

_But I also thought I loved Caradoc, and how could I  
_ _have if I just packed up and tried to leave him like  
_ _that after a year._

_Am I just incapable of love? Am I broken Lily?_

**_You aren’t broken, Sirius. And you are capable of  
_ ** **_love._ **

**_There are days that I’m pretty sure you love James  
_ ** **_more than I do even. And I love that ridiculous  
_ ** **_man so much._ **

_That’s different. Jamie is like my brother. He’s  
_ _family._

_I’ve never had romantic love turn out well._

**_That doesn’t mean you’re incapable of it._ **

**_It’s ok to be scared of being in love. I was  
_ ** **_TERRIFIED when I first realized that I might love  
_ ** **_James. I wanted to run, too. I got really close to  
_ ** **_signing up for study abroad just to get away, but I  
_ ** **_didn’t. I fought my instincts and I fought for  
_ ** **_James, and well, now look at us._ **

**_Now you just need to decide if you want to fight  
_ ** **_for Remus._ **

_I don’t know!_

_I keep going back and forth between being terrified  
_ _of not having him in my life and being terrified of  
_ _being with him._

_But dammit, I miss him. It’s been 6 days and I miss  
_ _him like crazy. I haven’t gone this long without  
_ _talking to him since we met. Ignoring those first  
_ _two weeks anyway._

**_Then I think you have your answer._ **

_I think I do._

_What do I do?_

**_Sirius, you don’t need any help planning grand  
_ ** **_romantic gestures. I know for a fact that half of  
_ ** **_James’ proposal was your idea._ ** ****

**_But don’t tell him that I know that, because he  
_ ** **_was really proud of the whole thing and I don’t  
_ ** **_want to burst his bubble._ **

_Hahaha._

_Secret’s safe with me._

**_Just be careful. You got a COVID test after the  
_ ** **_hospital, right?_ **

_Yeah. I should have my results tomorrow._

_I wouldn’t go over there without a negative result._

**_I know you wouldn’t. I just had to make sure for  
_ ** **_my own sanity._ **

_Lily_

_What if he doesn’t want anything to do with me?_

**_You won’t know unless you take a chance._ **

_Ugh, you’re right._

_So do I have to worry about your wrath at the  
_ _moment?_

**_No, you live to see another day. Just don’t screw  
_ ** **_this up._ **

_I won’t._

_Thanks Lilypad._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **French Translations:**  
>   
>  **Peux-tu la faire sortir d'ici? Je viens de rentrer de l'hôpital et je ne veux pas vous rendre malade.** \- Can you get her out of here? I just got home from the hospital and I don't want to get you sick.  
> 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter!!  
>   
> Thank you so much for reading this and commenting along the way. This is the first long fic that I've completed and published, so posting this is a little bittersweet. A lot of work went into it and it means so much that people enjoyed reading it. These boys are my babies and I'm not quite ready to let them go, but that's writing I guess.  
> Anyway, enough of my rambling. Enjoy!

** REMUS **

**———**

**SIRIUS**

8/1/2020 - 1:13 PM

~~_Hey, can we talk?_ ~~

~~_I’m sorry that I kicked you out of my apartment  
_ _even though you were just trying to help._ ~~

~~_Hey, how are you?_ ~~

~~_I’m sorry._ ~~

~~_Hi, are you busy?_ ~~

~~_I miss you._ ~~

**_“I would love to say that you make me weak in the  
_ ** **_knees but to be quite upfront and completely  
_ ** **_truthful you make my body forget it has knees at  
_ ** **_all.” - Tyler Knott Gregson_ ** ****

**_I couldn’t find a quote from one of the bad  
_ ** **_manuscripts or from Earnest that accurately  
_ ** **_described how I’m feeling, so that’s from an  
_ ** **_Instagram poet I follow._ ** ****

**_Although I’m not really sure that it really describes  
_ ** **_how I’m feeling either._ **

_Can I call you?_

**_Yes please._ **

**_—_ **

Remus' hands shook as he navigated to Sirius' contact in his phone. His heart was beating at a mile a minute. Sirius had texted him. 

That had to mean that he wanted to be in his life, at least in some capacity, right? Remus had been trying and failing to figure out what to say to him for days. He'd drafted dozens of texts and almost called even more times than that. He'd even thought about sending him an innocuous email about work just to see if he'd respond, but nothing seemed right. 

But it didn't matter, because Sirius had texted him first. Remus tapped the video call icon, and, nearly instantly, Sirius' face filled his screen. His hair was a mess like he'd been running his hands through it constantly, as he often did when he was nervous or frustrated, and his grey eyes sparkled as they stared into the camera, filled with nervous energy. Remus' heart fluttered. Shit, he'd really missed seeing his face. 

They stared at each other for a moment, but then, Remus eventually took in the surroundings around Sirius. "Are you in a car?" he asked tentatively. 

"I— Yeah, I am. I'm actually in front of your building," Sirius admitted softly, and Remus' breath hitched. "I wasn't sure if you'd want to see me so I thought I'd be safe and text you first, but I hoped—" 

"Did you get tested after getting back from the hospital?" Remus interrupted. 

"Yeah. Negative. Got the results yesterday. Did you—?" 

Remus nodded quickly. "Negative," he croaked. He swallowed hard to try to calm his nerves. "Can you— Do you want to come up?" 

Sirius nodded. "Give me a minute." And with that, the call disconnected. 

Remus stood up from the couch so quickly that he nearly fell. He didn't expect to actually be seeing Sirius, or else he would have gotten ready. He was still in his pajama bottoms, but at least he had on his favorite green sweater, the one his mom had gotten him that brought out his eyes. He wished he had time to change into actual pants, but he didn't. Unable to wait, Remus bolted to the door and flung it open. He stood in the doorway and watched as Sirius climbed up the stairs. Remus felt his breath hitch when he locked eyes with him, and he was hit with an overwhelming desire to fling himself into his arms. But he didn't. One, Sirius needed to wash his hands first, just to be safe, and two, Remus needed to apologize before he did that. 

"Re," Sirius murmured as he reached the doorway. 

"Come in," Remus said quickly, stepping to the side. 

Sirius toed off his shoes and gestured to the bathroom. "I'm just going to—" 

"Wash your hands, yeah." He nodded and watched Sirius disappear into the hallway before nervously going to sit on the couch. 

A minute later, Sirius came out of the bathroom, removing his mask and tucking it into his pocket. He quickly walked over to the couch and stopped in front of where Remus was sitting. 

"I'm so sorry," Remus blurted out at the same time as Sirius said, "I missed you." 

Sirius dropped to his knees in front of Remus and stared up at him. "I'm sorry for freaking out." 

"No, I'm sorry," Remus interrupted. "I shouldn't have snapped like that. I'm so sorry—" 

"Remus, wait, no. You had every right to be upset with me. I wasn't handling the situation well at all," Sirius said in a rush. "I'm sorry. I ran away. Things got too real, and I bolted. I shouldn't have left. I should have stayed, but I was scared—" 

"I pushed you away. I thought I was protecting you, but I wasn't. I was just—" 

Sirius let out a strangled huff and brought his hands to rest on the tops of Remus' knees. "We can't keep talking over each other." 

Remus exhaled sharply and took Sirius' hands in his. "I'm sorry. You go," he said softly. 

Sirius squeezed his hands and stared up into his eyes. "The entire time I was in that hospital, I was terrified. Not just because it was a scary situation, but because I was afraid of losing you. I care about you so much, Remus. And that scared me more than anything. So I ran at the first opportunity you gave me, and I shouldn't have. I thought I didn't deserve someone like you, because I have so much baggage and I don't exactly have the greatest track record for relationships. But I can't keep running from things. I can't run from you. I don't want to. I want to be with you." 

Remus squeezed his hands tighter and let out a shaky breath. "Sirius—" 

"I want to see you every day and meet all of your friends. I want to make you omelets in the morning and lie in bed while drinking tea and reading a book. I want to run you warm baths when your joints are all flared up. I want everything, and I know it probably seems like it's too fast, but I can't help it. I'm crazy about you, and I really hope I didn't screw things up by being a coward." 

Remus leaned forward to rest their foreheads together. He heard Sirius let out a sharp exhale. "You didn't just run, I pushed you away. I was scared because you looked so worried and I knew that I was the reason. I didn't want to put you through that again, so I thought pushing you away would be easier. But then I talked with my dad, and he told me that I can't keep deciding for other people how they want to fit into my life. It wasn't fair to you for me to do that, or for me to ice you out that way I did. Sirius, I'm so sorry." He closed his eyes, and he felt Sirius' palm against his cheek. He leaned into the contact as he continued. "I know we just met, but I honestly keep forgetting that. Everything that you said, I want it, too," he said softly. 

"You said you talked to your dad, did you come out to him?" Sirius asked tentatively. 

"I didn't even need to," Remus whispered. "He already knew. He's known this whole time." 

"Well, I'm guessing he took it alright, then?" 

"He did. He approves of you, by the way." 

Sirius chuckled softly. "We didn't even talk for very long." 

"Well, you're charming, so I'm not surprised that he loved you as much as I do," Remus said nervously. 

He opened his eyes to see Sirius' grey ones staring back at him questioningly. "Re?" 

Remus inhaled slowly to steady his nerves before whispering, "Je suis tombé en amour de toi." _I've fallen in love with you._

Sirius blinked up at him, his mouth parted slightly, a look of confusion on his face. 

"Did I say it wrong?" Remus asked self-consciously. 

"Technically, it's tombé amoureux, not tombé en amour," Sirius said, slightly dazed. "But that doesn't matter. Do you mean it?" 

Remus smiled softly. "I do. You don't have to say anything, I just thought you should—" his sentence was cut off with a soft pair of lips crashing against his. 

Sirius slid his hand into Remus' curls and held him close as he sat up and moved closer to settle his torso between Remus' legs. Then, just as quickly as his lips were on his, they were gone. "I've fallen for you, too," Sirius murmured against his lips. 

Remus held his breath. "Really?" 

He chuckled softly and brushed their noses together. "Yes." 

Remus exhaled softly and wrapped his arms around Sirius' neck to drag their lips back together messily and pull him up off the floor. Sirius' hands found his waist, and they somehow managed to maneuver into a lying down position on the couch with Sirius straddling Remus' hips without breaking the kiss. Remus ran his hands through Sirius' hair, winding the strands around his fingers to anchor their mouths together. Teeth clashed together, and tongues mingled as he felt Sirius' warm hands sliding beneath his sweater, up to his ribs. He shuttered and let out a small gasp. 

Sirius worked his lips across his cheek and down his neck, stopping just below his ear. "God, I missed you," he whispered. He nipped lightly at Remus skin then soothed it with a swirl of his tongue. "It was only six days, but I missed you so much." 

Remus' breath hitched, and he tightened his grip in Sirius' hair, who kept littering his neck with soft, open-mouthed kisses. "I did, too. I really fucking missed you." 

"I'm never running again," Sirius promised as he kissed his way back up to look Remus in the eye. "I can't promise that I won't get scared again, but I'm in this. I want this." 

Remus slid a hand out of Sirius' hair to caress his cheek. "I'm in this, too. I'm not pushing you away again," he swore. "I can't promise that I won't snap at you when I'm in the middle of a flare-up, or that I won't want some time to myself, but know this: at the end of the day, I'll still want this." 

Sirius nodded and pressed their foreheads together, closing his eyes. "You learned French for me." 

"You say sweet things to me in French all the time. Oh, speaking of… I looked up what 'mon chou' actually means. 'Cabbage'? Really?" Remus teased. 

Sirius dropped his head to Remus' shoulder and laughed into his neck. "That's just the literal translation. But, if you hate it now, I can call you something else." 

Remus shook his head with a smile. "I'm just teasing you. I like 'mon chou.'" He pressed a soft kiss to Sirius' temple. 

Sirius hummed and lifted his head to look Remus in the eyes. 

They stared at each other for a brief moment, then their lips were on each other again, this time softer and less hurried. Remus smoothed his hands down Sirius' back and slipped them just under the hem of his t-shirt, reveling in the feeling of his warm skin beneath his palms. Sirius brushed his thumbs along Remus' ribs, gently caressing his skin. With a soft exhale, Remus sat up. Sirius got the message and slowly pulled Remus' sweater up and over his head. Remus did the same and threw Sirius' shirt in the direction of his sweater. 

He looked at him as he ran his hands over Sirius' torso, tracing the tattoos on his arm and abdomen, before bringing his lips to his collarbone. Sirius let his head fall back slightly, and he let out a contented sigh. Remus hummed and pushed Sirius off his lap and back onto the couch, crawling over him as he continued to nip and suck at his neck, collarbone, shoulder, and back to his neck. Sirius made a soft sound, and Remus continued trailing his lips down his chest to his abdomen, where a tattoo of a lion's head rested just about his left hip. 

He arched his back up. "Merde, Remus." 

Remus smiled and smoothed a hand over the front of Sirius' jeans, strained against his cock. "I don't think I ever asked about this one," he said as he traced his tongue over the tattoo. 

"School mascot," Sirius punched out. 

"And the Latin under it?" Remus asked. It was covered by the waistband of his jeans, but Remus knew it was there. Still, he wanted to see it, so he started working open the fly of Sirius' jeans. 

"Baise, moi." Sirius said breathily. He sat up and brought Remus' lips to his. "Later. Need you. Now," he barked out between kisses. 

Remus ground himself against Sirius and let out a low moan at the friction. 

Sirius' hands flew to his ass, and, without warning, he swung his legs over the edge of the couch and stood up. Remus locked his arms around his neck and legs around his waist to help support his weight as Sirius started to walk toward the bedroom. 

Sirius quickly set Remus on the bed and pulled at his pajama pants, getting them off in one smooth motion before going for his own pants. Once his pants had joined Remus' in a pile on the floor, he knelt on the bed and crawled toward the headboard where Remus leaned against the pile of pillows. 

Remus sat up and grabbed at him, already missing the feel of Sirius' skin on his. Sirius settled in between his legs and pressed their hips together. Remus let his head fall back on the pillows, groaning as his hips ground up to meet Sirius. He closed his eyes and let himself focus on the feel of Sirius. Their bodies sliding together. Sirius stilled for a moment and reached a hand up to cup Remus' cheek. He willed himself to open his eyes and looked up to lock eyes with Sirius. 

Remus wrapped his arms around his back and held him tight as Sirius started to thrust again, slow at first, then more rapidly as they picked up a rhythm. 

Sirius dropped his head and captured Remus' lips in a kiss as Remus snaked a hand between them and wrapped it around both of them. Sirius moaned into his mouth. Remus dug his free hand into Sirius' shoulder as they both continued to buck into his hand. 

"Fuck, Remus. I think I'm gonna—" 

Remus was, too. He was so close, and then Sirius went rigid on top of him. His back arched, and he let out a strangled moan. Remus followed him, clutching Sirius tightly as he circled his hips slowly, bringing them both through their orgasms. 

They laid there, limbs entangled, as their breathing returned to normal. After a while, Sirius lifted his head off Remus' chest to look at him softly. 

Remus lifted a hand to tuck a loose strand of hair behind Sirius' ear. "Hi," he whispered. He wanted to say something about how fantastic he felt, but all other words had escaped him. Sure, sex with Sirius had always been amazing but something felt different. More meaningful. 

Sirius leaned down to brush his lips against Remus'. "Hi." 

"We should probably—" 

"Get cleaned up?" 

Remus nodded. "Shower?" 

"Ordinarily, I'd say yes, but honestly, I'm not sure if my legs will support me right now," Sirius said as he rolled to the side, pulling Remus with him. 

Remus chuckled softly and pressed a quick kiss to Sirius' cheek. "I'll get us a towel." 

"Tu es incroyable," Sirius mumbled happily. 

Remus kissed his cheek once more before rolling over and swinging his legs over the bed's edge. He stood up slowly and found that his legs were a little shaky as well, but managed to make it to the bathroom. He pulled a washcloth out of the basket that sat on the shelf above the toilet, wet it with some warm water, and cleaned himself up first before bringing it back to the bedroom with him. When he returned, he saw that Sirius had pulled the covers back, but was still lying uncovered, sprawled out in a post-sex haze. He crawled onto the bed and started to gently wipe up Sirius' abdomen and chest. 

Sirius’ eyes flung open then softened as he looked at Remus. "Oh, thank you," he whispered. 

Remus flung the washcloth in the direction of the hamper and actually managed to make it in, then settled back onto the bed and pulled the covers over the two of them. 

Sirius turned on his side and hooked an arm over Remus' waist. "Nice aim, mon chou." 

Remus laughed. "Thanks." He shimmied close, hooking an arm over Sirius' waist and tangling their legs together. 

Sirius made a soft, happy sound and pressed his lips against Remus' forehead, letting them linger for a while. 

"Are you able to stay?" Remus asked, hopefully. 

"I was hoping I could. I'll have to go back to Andi's on Monday, though. My work laptop is there." 

Remus let out a relieved breath. "Good." He looked up softly at Sirius, whose eyes were slowly closing, and smiled. He pressed a light kiss to his chin. 

Sirius let out another pleased hum. "I love you," he mumbled sleepily with another press of the lips to Remus' forehead. 

Remus' breath left him again in a rush. "I love you, too." 

He let his eyes close, too, and then they both drifted off into a light sleep, the afternoon light streaming in through the bedroom window. 

* * *

** SIRIUS **

**———**

**One Year Later - July 24, 2021**

“Thanks, Marls,” Sirius said, standing up and accepting the microphone from Marlene. He cleared his throat and looked around the room at the sea of wedding guests before looking over at the small table James and Lily were sitting at. He flashed them a smile then turned back to the crowd.

“So for those of you that don’t know, Jamie has been my best friend since we were thirteen. We met at a small boarding school in upstate New York when someone decided that assigning us to be roommates was a good idea. Big mistake.” He paused for laughter, then continued, “We got into so much trouble that year, and every year after, really. And then, a few years ago, I got this call. It was the middle of the night for me because I was in Ireland at the time, and normally I would have ignored it, but it was Jamie, so I answered. And the second I answered, this kid immediately started going on about the date he had with ‘the most amazing girl in existence’ and how one day he was going to marry her. Let me tell you, I was still half asleep, so I didn’t take him seriously, but then I met Lily, and I saw them together and realized how serious Jamie really was.”

Sirius paused, then looked down at Remus sitting next to him, smiling fondly at him as he gave the speech he’d been stressing about giving all week. “Now, I literally had an entire extra year to figure out how to end this speech, but I didn’t do that—” the crowd laughed— “so, I’m going to steal from what Remus said at their first wedding last year.” Remus reached out and squeezed his hand. “Anyone who knows Lily and James knows how different they are from each other, but they find a way to make things work despite those differences. It wasn’t fate or destiny that brought them together, it was a choice, and I, for one, don’t think that either of them could have made a better one. So, if everyone could join me in raising a glass.” Sirius raised his champagne glass. “To James and Lily.”

The crowd echoed the toast, and Sirius handed the microphone back to the DJ, then returned to his seat.

“Beautiful speech, love,” Remus whispered as the DJ started to announce James’ and Lily’s first dance.

“Well, half of it was you. All I did was tell some jokes and make fun of Jamie.” Sirius quickly stole a kiss before leaning back in his chair and throwing an arm on the back of Remus’ chair.

Remus smiled and scooted closer to rest his head on Sirius’ shoulder. “They look so happy,” he sighed as they watched James twirl Lily around the dance floor.

Sirius dropped a kiss to the top of his head. “Getting sentimental, mon chou?”

Remus elbowed him in the ribs and told him to shut up, then settled back into their little embrace with a contented sigh. The song came to an end, and another long song started to play as the DJ announced that the dance floor was open to everyone.

Sirius stood up abruptly and extended his hand to Remus, who looked a little put out by the sudden shift in position. “Care to dance?”

“Sure.” Remus smiled and slipped his hand into Sirius’.

Sirius led them to a spot on the corner of the dance floor, and Remus looped his arms around Sirius’ neck while Sirius settled his hands on his waist. “You know, this is the first time I’ve been able to just clutch and sway at a wedding,” he mused. “The only other weddings I’ve been to were all for family, and they were all very formal affairs. Waltzes and all that.”

“Are you telling me that you know how to waltz?” Remus asked teasingly.

“I do, in fact,” Sirius said, matching Remus’ tone. “I also know the quickstep, the tango, and a little bit of salsa. But I think I like this the best.” He circled his arms around Remus’ waist, pulling him closer.

“Mmm, I think I’d have to agree.” Remus rested his head on Sirius’ shoulder. “So, the ‘Most Ancient and Nobel House of Black’ had you take salsa lessons?”

Sirius laughed. “I’m so glad I told you that story.” Remus flashed a smile up at him. “But no, I picked that up in Spain when I was crashing with a friend of a friend who was a dance instructor.”

“Of course you did,” Remus said with a laugh. “God, you’ve lived a completely more interesting life than me. Are you sure you’re content being with boring old me?”

His tone was light, so Sirius knew he wasn’t serious, but he lowered his head and captured his lips in a firm kiss anyway. “Remus Lupin, you are a lot of things, and boring is definitely not one of them.”

The song shifts to an upbeat song, and Sirius hears a pair of squeals in the distance followed by a groan from Remus. “Oh, God, no.”

Sirius laughs and cocks his head. “What, you don’t like Maroon 5?”

“Lily and Marlene declared this to be ‘our’ song in college, so I expect they’re coming to steal me away in three, two—“

Right one cue, Lily and Marlene ran up to the two of them and started tugging on Remus’ waist.

“Sorry, lover boy, we’re stealing him,” Marlene said.

“Well, who am I to say no to this force of nature,” Sirius teased with a gesture toward the two of them. He dropped a kiss to Remus’ cheek. “Have fun. I’m going to go find the groom.”

Remus mouthed “help” at him as they dragged him away to dance, but there was also a hint of a smile on his lips that had Sirius smiling as well. He made his way to the drink table where he found James, standing and talking to a random Evans cousin. He sidled up next to him and threw an arm around his shoulder just as James finished his ‘thank you for coming’ speech.

“Sorry, can I borrow the groom?” Sirius asked apologetically, and the cousin nodded and walked away.

James turned to him. “Thank you.”

“You looked like you needed a rescue,” Sirius said.

“I did. I know that was one of Lily’s cousins because I’ve met her at least four times, but I can never remember her name.”

He laughed. “Maybe I should have made you flashcards.”

James laughed, too. “You’ve already far exceeded your duties as best man.” He hesitated for a moment, then pulled Sirius into a tight hug.

Sirius squeezed him tight then let him go. “Don’t go getting all sentimental on me,” he wanted playfully.

James rolled his eyes and turned to watch the dance floor, where Remus was dancing with both Lily and Marlene, twirling them around.

“So, how does it feel being married for a year now?” Sirius asked as he turned his attention on their significant others and Marlene, too. He softly smiled as Marlene went to spin Remus around, sending them all into a fit of laughter.

“It’s amazing. I couldn’t be happier,” James gushed. “But, it looks like you’re thinking of finding out for yourself based on that dopey look on your face.”

“Dopey? Take a look in the mirror there, mate,” Sirius retorted.

“Do you think you and Remus…?”

“We’ve only been dating a year,” he protested, even though it wasn’t a real answer, and both James and he knew that.

“So? That doesn’t mean you can’t be thinking about it,” James pointed out.

The song ended, and Remus managed to escape the dance floor and join them over by the drink table.

“Looked like you guys were having fun,” Sirius mused, slinging his arm around Remus’ waist.

“What were you two talking about?” Remus asked, wrapping his arm around Sirius’ waist.

He kissed his head quickly. “Nothing important.”

Remus smiled then gave a pointed look at James. “You should go dance with your wife, so she stops trying to kill me.”

James laughed and winked at the two of them, but more at Sirius. “Well, we can’t have that,” he said before making his way to the dance floor where he pulled Lily in to dip her.

Sirius smiled and shifted to wrap his arms around Remus from behind so they could both watch the dance floor.

Remus rested his arms on top of Sirius’ and laced their fingers together. “Having fun?”

Sirius nodded and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I love weddings.”

Remus hummed and shimmied closer. “Well, you’ll have another one to look forward to soon.”

Sirius knew Remus was talking about Mary and Emmeline’s wedding in October, but Sirius’ heart skipped a beat all the same. He’d played it off with James, but he would be lying if he said he hadn’t been thinking about taking the next step with Remus lately. He’d chalked it up to wedding fever, with both him and Remus being best people in their respective best friend’s weddings, but maybe it wasn’t just that.

He mentally shook his head to clear it. “That’s true. I’m excited to see your childhood home. I can’t wait to snoop around your old bedroom.”

Remus laughed. “You won’t find anything interesting. I was a pretty boring kid.”

“No cartons of cigarettes or playboy magazines hidden under the bed?” Sirius teased.

“Is that what you had hidden under your bed?”

“The cigarettes, yes. But I stuck my posters of scantily clad women up on the walls for everyone to see. Superglued them up to the walls so that Walburga would have had to completely re-wallpaper to get rid of them,” he said proudly.

“You’re a menace,” Remus said with a laugh. “My dad is excited to finally meet you in person.”

Sirius smiled. “I can’t wait to meet him. I plan on putting on the full charm to make a good impression.”

“You know he already likes you, right?”

“Still, can’t hurt to solidify that opinion. Gotta make sure he knows I’m planning on sticking around.”

Remus shook his head fondly and craned his neck around to look at him. “I love you.”

“Je t'aime aussi, mon chou.”

* * *

** REMUS **

**———**

**October 2, 2021**

“So, it seems like your dad and Sirius are really getting along,” Mary mused as she and Remus made their way to the dance floor. She looped her wrist through the strap on her gown’s train to keep it off the floor before placing her hand into Remus’ so he could lead her through a slow dance.

Remus placed his hand on her waist before turning back to watch Sirius and Lyall, deep in conversation at a table just off the dance floor. “Yeah, I’m relieved.” He smiled softly.

“Were you worried?”

“Not exactly, but I’m still glad my dad likes him,” Remus said. He dragged his attention away from Sirius back to his best friend. “So, you did it. You got your big gay wedding.”

“I did,” Mary said with a massive grin, her brown eyes sparkling as she looked around at the various couples dancing around them. “Big poofy dress and all.”

“You really do look beautiful, Mar.”

“Don’t go getting all sappy on me, Rem. If I cry again and my makeup runs, I’ll hurt you,” she warned playfully.

He stuck her tongue out at her.

“I love you, though. I couldn’t have gotten through this without you.”

“Love you, too.”

“So, when are we going to be dancing at your big gay wedding?” she asked, wiggling her eyebrows at him.

Remus falters for a moment and glances at Sirius again, who was tossing his head back and laughing at something Lyall had just said. He allows himself a quick smile before looking back at Mary’s stunned face.

“Hang on— what’s that look? Remus are you—”

He quickly shushes her. “Later. Today is about you.”

“Oh, hell no. Sidebar, now.” Mary all but drags him off the dance floor toward the changing room where he’d helped her get ready earlier that day. She shut the door behind them and rounded on him. “You’re thinking of proposing, aren’t you?”

“Seriously, Mary, we can talk about this tomorrow. I don’t want to distract from your wedding,” Remus protested.

“Oh, screw that, Remus. I’ve already said my vows, cut the cake, and had my first dance. It’s basically just a big party now. So spill!”

He sighed, but he couldn’t help but smile as he pulled out his wallet to retrieve the ring he’d picked up from the jewelers three days ago.

“Oh, my God, you’ve got a ring already?! With you?! Are you doing it tonight?!” Mary fired off the line of questions in quick succession.

“God, no!” He exclaimed. “I told you, I’m not upstaging you on your big day. I picked it up from the jeweler the other day, and I didn’t want Sirius to find it in my room back home, so I’ve just been carrying it around for three days.”

“Aww! Remus!” She threw her arms around his neck in an enthusiastic hug. “You’re going to be getting married!”

“I haven’t even asked him yet,” Remus grumbled. “He could say no.”

Mary pulled back to look at him pointedly. “He’s not going to say no. That man adores you.” She let go of his neck and made a grabbing motion. “Now let me see the ring!”

He smiled and carefully placed it in her hand.

“Aww, Rem, it’s gorgeous. Wait, it looks vaguely familiar.”

“I had my mom’s ring redesigned. My dad said she always wanted me to have it,” he said softly.

Mary looked at him and blinked a few times. “Dammit, Remus, I’m going to cry again.”

“Do you think he’s going to like it?” he asked nervously.

“He’s going to love it,” she whispered. “Oh, come here!” She threw her arms around him again.

Suddenly the door opened. Remus frantically stepped away and made a grab for the ring to hide it, then deflated when he saw Emmeline poking her head through the crack in the door.

“Oh, there you two are,” Emmeline said as she shut the door behind her. She wrapped her arms around Mary’s waist and looked up at her fondly. “ABBA came on, so I was looking for you.”

“I’m sorry, babe.” Mary leaned down to kiss her softly. “Emergency sidebar.”

“I figured,” Emmeline said. “What was it this time?”

“Remus is going to propose!” Mary exclaimed.

“Mary!” Remus scolded.

“Oh, hush, Rem. Spousal privilege means no secrets.” She looked at Emmeline softly and leaned down to kiss her again.

Emmeline hummed contentedly, then looked at Remus when they pulled apart. “Don’t worry, Remus, I won’t say anything. But you may want to hide that ring and get back out there because that smoking hot, future fiancé of yours is looking for you.”

“Thanks, Emmeline.” Remus plucked the ring out of Mary’s outstretched hand and tucked it safely into his wallet. He stepped around them and placed a hand on the doorknob. “Want me to cover for you guys so you can have a minute to yourselves?”

Mary looked at him over Emmeline’s head and nodded. “You’re the best,” she said in a sing-song voice.

Remus smiled and slipped out the door, patting the wallet in his pocket once before heading back down the hall to find Sirius. Across the room, he saw Sirius, standing and chatting with Mary’s mother by the dessert table. “Hey, sorry, bridal emergency,” he said by way of explanation once he reached them. He laced his fingers together with Sirius’ and gave his hand a squeeze. “Mary and Emmeline needed a moment to catch their breath,” he told Mary’s mother.

She nodded. “It’s been a busy day,” she said. “Thank you for all of your help, Remus.”

“You’re welcome, Mrs. Macdonald,” Remus said, then quickly corrected himself, “Margaret— sorry, habit.”

Margaret laughed and patted him on the cheek before walking away.

Remus smiled and looked up at Sirius. “Emmeline said you were looking for me?”

Sirius smiled softly and cupped his chin to bring their lips together for a quick kiss. “Your dad wanted me to tell you that he was heading back to the house.”

“Ah, ok. I’m sorry I’ve been all over the place tonight,” Remus said. “I didn’t realize how much there was to do as the person of honor.”

“It’s ok. Your dad kept me company. But, maybe you can make it up to me with a dance?”

Remus nodded and led them to a spot on the dance floor.

Remus hooked his arms around Sirius’ neck while Sirius looped his arms around Remus’ waist. “I’m so glad you two are getting along.”

Sirius grinned. “I absolutely love him, Re. He was telling me all kinds of baby Remus stories while you were running around today.”

“Oh, no,” Remus groaned and rested his forehead on his shoulder to hide his face.

“Oh, yes,” Sirius said playfully. “I think my favorite was about the massive crush on your babysitter.”

Remus’ head shot up. “No, he told you about Veronica?”

Sirius pressed his lips together to try to hide his grin. “Mmhmm.”

“If the floor could just swallow me up now, that would be great.”

“No!” Sirius pulled him closer and nuzzled his hair. “I think it was sweet. Although... Should I be jealous? You’ve never given me a macaroni Valentine’s Day card.”

Remus groaned in embarrassment. “Well, seeing as I think Veronica is married with kids and in her late thirties, I think it’d be a little ridiculous to be jealous.”

“Good. Because you’re mine.”

Sirius’ tone was playful, but Remus’ heart flipped all the same. He could almost feel the ring in his pocket as he lowered his head to rest on Sirius’ shoulder. “Yeah, I’m yours,” he echoed, “and you’re mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **French Translations:**  
>   
>  **Baise moi.** \- fuck me  
>  **Tu es incroyable.** \- you’re amazing  
> 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks, as always, to [@hellcattriesagain](https://hellcattriesagain.tumblr.com/) for being my fearless alpha reader. You were absolutely instrumental in helping me get this fic out. Thank you for your random motivational gifs every day for the past month while I was writing this, helping me figure out plot problems, and for fangirling with me about our two precious boys.  
> Follow me on [Tumblr](https://mooncat457writing.tumblr.com/)!


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